September 20, 2004
Audioblog: Freak Magnet II
I'm afraid. Hold me!
And if you can't see the audio controls, please download Flash.
Posted by Chris at September 20, 2004 02:33 PM
I mean,um, dude, I'm sorry. Maybe you can move? Put a freak shield around your house?
flypaper for freaks dude... you're flypaper for freaks.
so was it a doctor appt. doctor appt. or a "doctor" appt. doctor appt.?
LOL! Maybe in some weird alternate universe you and Freak Lady are very good friends who share many evenings discussing everything Jeff Beck and co-running a I-Wear-Jeff-Beck-in-My-Locket webring or a I-Wear-a-Fanny-Pack-and-Love-to-Stalk-Complete-Strangers-Looking-for-Music webring. LOL. I mean ya gotta admit...she's the total ying to your yang...or you're the ying to her yang depending on how you look at it! I'm laughing so hard here!
You know Chris, when you started this and as you got into your story..... I started having a very bad feeling and found myself repeating..."No...no....nooooooo..no fucking way....no...nooooooooooooooo!!!!!! Well, shit."
Look pal, I think you need to carry a disguise in your glove compartment or something...JUST IN CASE.
Well now, if you ever go a day or two again without posting, I'll totally be worried that she found you and you might be tied up in your house or something......or something!
This is damn creepy my friend.
Dammit! The next time I hire someone to spy on you, remind me to check for extreme freakiness first. I want my money back.
As if living near a Target that DOESN'T sell porn OR crack wasn't enough to make you move, I really do hope that this is enough to bring you to your senses. You need to get the hell out of dodge!
Maybe you're the new locket picture AND she moved to be close to you.
Hey, the lady wears a fanny pack. I wouldn't put it past her.
I had a feeling, when you said, go back and listen to the first freak story...it was gonna be her! OH NO! I think moving would be a little reactionary, but I really hope she's not stalking you. And maybe you can just wear sunglasses a lot or something. And sing Britney Spears very loudly at all times, so that no one can mistake you for anyone who has any sort of good taste is music.
I LOVE THE AUDIOBLOG.
I love the writing, too. But the audioblog is so much easier to share. And share it I do.
Hee hee. Freak lady. I have my own Best Buy story that happened this weekend, and I was going to link, but I'll just wait to see what happens with your wacko first, I think.
You need those glasses with a mustache attached.
i second the "i love the audioblog" sentiment! the way you tell stories cracks me up.
That is so freaky. Run for your life! (oh and I can finally listen to your audioblogs because my computer is not wacked out anymore!)
the fanny pack is probably her "kit" ... you know how organized rapists and serial killers have their little kits with rope, tape, knives and such. Hers probably has Jeff Beck stuff so she can have on the show and tell. "And this is Jeff's lock of hair, this is Jeff's vial of blood, this is a recording of Jeff begging for his life, and somewhere I have a copy of Jeff's TRO against me."
I am totally digging the audioblogs!
I wouldn't worry about her too awfully much. In my experience you see things much more often once you take official notice of them, kind of like glancing at the clock once and seeing the numbers in your birthday sequence. You then make a mental note of how interesting it is that you just glanced over to see your birthday displayed via timepiece, and then it seems that every time you look at that clock afterward your birthday is displayed, making it kind of freaky-scary instead of interesting. Or maybe that's just me.
So, anyway, to bring it back to our story, she may have been there all along but just under your radar until she accosted you in the store, and now that you're deathly afraid of her...uh, I mean, now that you've noticed her, she suddenly seems to be everywhere.
YOu have GOT to be kidding me?! Maybe she's seen YOU before and when she saw you at Best Buy, it was like she knew you and felt comfortable talking to you.
Whether or not that is the case, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! Or at least wear a mask and sneak around your neighborhood. Send Mrs. Cactus to the grocery store and stay hidden so she NEVER sees you again, otherwise you are going to be her best friend EVER! You're the guy who talked with her at Best Buy about JEFF. BECK! Remember?
And watch out or you'll be in her locket next!
HA! I'm still laughing. Oh and for the record, this story would not have been the same without the audioblog!
ha!! that's brilliant! you know what would be even more hilarious/freaky/scary? if she reads weblogs, and happens upon yours someday. HA! of course, you'll have moved by then, so it'll be okay. if nothing else, you can always wave your road rage monkey wrench at her, and she'll assume YOU are the freak and she'll go far, far away. :)