September 23, 2004

String Theory

Its a cheap way out of original thinking but I got nothing this morning. So, I bring you the latest and greatest search strings that got some of you here. But while I'm at it I've gotta say once again that you guys rock. While searching the strings, I happened to notice my hit and visitor counts. Sheesh! I'm floored. Absolutely floored. Thanks to all. Onto the search strings...

Criss cross applesauce: I'm rubber, you're glue!
Rigid tool calendar: Really, I know what you're going for here but I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old, okay?
Ass hair: Sorry. None here.
The mysteries of midgetville riverside municipal museum: There's a midget museum?? Who else is thinking "road trip?"
Do not call me jlo: Really, don't. You won't like me when I'm angry.
This country is going to hell: I didn't say it.
I'm a loser named chris: Its finally time to come out and tell the world...
How to be rude in a meeting: Light up a cigarette, tell your boss to go to hell and fart loudly. Need more tips, just swing back by.
How the bowels work:
Shel Silverstein naked pencil sharpener: C'mon people. What is wrong with you?
The name of the cactus that lived 31 years without any food water or barely any air: Not me. I've been well-fed most of my life and I'm getting plenty of oxygen, thanks.
Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed while Little Bo Peep gave him head: Huh. They left that out of my book of nursery rhymes when I was a kid.
My bank has spelled my name wrong: I can naturally see why you turned to the Internet instead of calling them.
Colonoscopy how s it feel: No personal experience but I'm going to go out on a limb and say not good.
How does deaf people haer the car siren? How do stupid people form sentences?

Posted by Chris at September 23, 2004 10:19 AM

I'm seriously disturbed by the Shel Silverstein one.

Posted by: HG at September 23, 2004 10:31 AM

these are great. all i get are people looking for girls with large bottoms.

Posted by: laura at September 23, 2004 10:45 AM

There's a midget museum?? Who else is thinking "road trip?"
HA! You slay me.

Posted by: Another Pam at September 23, 2004 11:05 AM

LOL Those are pretty funny. Especially the midget one! I get a lot of "what do bunnies eat?" And that's the tame one. :)

Posted by: groovebunny at September 23, 2004 11:06 AM

I took the cheap way out of an original post too and just copy n pasted some crap I posted on another site because I'm lazy and don't give a shit. But I don't have those snazzy search results. That's worth a post regardless. . .

Posted by: Colby at September 23, 2004 11:15 AM

Sorry. The ass-hair one was me.

I was . . uh . . trying something. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Posted by: Marie at September 23, 2004 11:21 AM

All through college I heard people talk about this elusive Northern Virgina "midgetville." Can it actually be the truth?? I would SO kick in gas money for that road trip...

Posted by: supine at September 23, 2004 11:29 AM

I do this every so often. I get a lot of sex searches, which I don't understand. Top search term is Hunny though...duh! LOL

Posted by: Swt GA HunnyB at September 23, 2004 12:01 PM

Seriously? Shel Silverstein, and a pencil sharpener? Where do these people come from?

Posted by: myllissa at September 23, 2004 12:03 PM

I never get good searches. The best one I got was "hospitalized after masturbation accident", but that was my own fault. The search, not the accident.

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at September 23, 2004 12:11 PM

i never get any good search strings... i think the best one was something about hubbys and boyfriends and secret passwords. now, i don't know about you but my hubby doesn't have a boyfriend and i know his password.

i'll have to add that nursery rhyme to my Kafka for Kids collection...

Posted by: monique at September 23, 2004 12:16 PM

My most recent search string: Diane Lane's Bare Feet Boobs

Since when do feet have boobs? And WHY is this bringing people to MY site??!!

Posted by: RockStar Mommy at September 23, 2004 01:10 PM

hi jlo! heh. i never get any good searches. I like the bank one... why would they search the internet for that? hello?

Posted by: Manda at September 23, 2004 01:30 PM

It always amazes me the random things that bring people to my site. I usually go do the search myself just to see how many sites they had to go through to find me. And it's usually a lot.

Posted by: Kerry at September 23, 2004 01:32 PM

So, JLo, how DO bowels work?

Posted by: Zoot at September 23, 2004 02:14 PM

Hee, I'm still laughing at "rigid tool calendar."

Posted by: Fraulein N at September 23, 2004 02:18 PM

**Kymmie rocking back and forth with hands covering ears**

No Humpty! No! That's not nice! Don't talk to Little Blow Peep anymore! NOOOOOOOO!

Posted by: Kymmie at September 23, 2004 02:41 PM

shel silverstein naked pencil sharpener? hell yeah - i want two!

Posted by: type a at September 23, 2004 03:37 PM

I dont know how you find these things out or where you get them but besides the seriously disturbing Shel Silverstein one, I am still erm... oh I cant bring myself to be that crass about the colonoscopy one...

Posted by: stinkerbell at September 23, 2004 07:45 PM

Ass hair? Now THAT is hilarious.

Posted by: DeAnn at September 24, 2004 05:04 AM

*grin* Ass hair! Midget Museums! At least yours are funny. Mine are just strange! "color emptiness feng shui master" did they ever get to me? Shaking my head.

Posted by: gypsy at September 26, 2004 01:36 AM