September 30, 2004


As you know, I stop at Dunkin Donuts every morning for breakfast and coffee. Now, I generally see the same folks picking up breakfast every morning and I invariably see the same cars. Most mornings, I see this guy driving a huge black pickup with tinted windows - like, the kind of pickup tough workmen types drive. The kind you can hear coming from a mile away. The kind you can drive up the side of a mountain and build shit with. The kind that you can load a few tons of dirt in and still have enough torque to haul your house off its foundation. But this morning? This morning was different because I finally saw the driver. Imagine my surprise when, emerging from the driver's side, dropping to the ground as if from a great height, I found that the driver was tiny. Seriously tiny. Mini Truck Man had to be under 5 feet tall. Way under. Think he's compensating for something?

Posted by Chris at September 30, 2004 09:10 AM

I swear weird people follow you around. How is it you are the only person reporting such weirdness?

Posted by: goodsnake at September 30, 2004 09:14 AM

How much should I bet that he had a NO FEAR decal on the back windshield? Or Calvin {and Hobbes} peeing?

Posted by: RockStar Mommy at September 30, 2004 09:27 AM

Ha! And mudflaps with naked-lady silhouettes!

Posted by: supine at September 30, 2004 09:35 AM

And a bumper sticker that says something about gun control. Like, "Guns don't kill people, I kill people."

Posted by: myllissa at September 30, 2004 09:52 AM

and I bet his nickname is "Duke.."

Posted by: debby at September 30, 2004 09:55 AM

I think he may have had a bumper sticker proclaiming, "I like lipstick around my dipstick."

Posted by: MJ at September 30, 2004 10:15 AM

I think he waited for this morning because he KNEW you were going to share this story with us, and we were really going to find out you ARE a "Freak Magnet!" I am going to send you a copy of my saying on my desk..."GREAT, I'm in the FREAK SECTION!" You have clearly taken over my place! LOL

Posted by: gypsy at September 30, 2004 10:27 AM

We get those all the time here where I live... They're always good for a giggle or two.

Posted by: amber at September 30, 2004 10:41 AM

Geez, how obvious is he? And, Chris? Dude you are flypaper for freaks!

Posted by: Sue at September 30, 2004 11:05 AM

Whenever I see trucks like that I always want to say something like "Sorry about your penis, sir."

Posted by: keepergirl at September 30, 2004 11:13 AM

OHMIGOD! I saw somethin the same outside the bank a few weeks ago. A big ass GORGEOUS NEW Hummer. All HIGHER THAN USUAL TOO! And this little man hopped out. I was staring and couldn't help myself. I wanted to say YO, Mini Me, do you drive that thing with a booster chair? heh.

Posted by: Scarlett Cyn at September 30, 2004 01:17 PM

Little people do big jobs too

Posted by: Kenn at September 30, 2004 01:30 PM

He has to drive the giant pickup because he is so tiny, get it? It always works that way. Was the truck a RAM by any chance?

Posted by: Leslie at September 30, 2004 01:41 PM

That happens....but we have a Hemi...I made hubby buy it to get rid of his falling-apart-piece-of-crap jeep. Im "hooking" it up for him while he's gone and Im sure I get wierd looks driving it around, but at least Im not short....Im 6' and hubby is 6'3''...yes, we're having giraffes for kids!! hee!

Posted by: Katy at September 30, 2004 02:10 PM

I'm sure that his huge truck relates to his tiny feet size, which in turn relates to another part of his anatomy that is related to smallness of the feet size. Either that or he just really wants the opportunity to work his tiny glutes climbing in and out of that thing each day. So yeah...tiny freak man probably has buns of steel! Which ofcourse would compensate for that other part of his body which is tiny to corresponds to the tininess of his feet and the hugeness of this truck. Je n'ai aucune compréhension de ce que j'ai juste dit. Tu? lol

Posted by: groovebunny at September 30, 2004 02:25 PM

I think I understood groovebunny's last sentence better than all of the preceding ones. Yeah, the guy definitely has short man's syndrome.

Posted by: Heather at September 30, 2004 04:49 PM

you know what they say about a little man in a big truck...

he wears little shoes.

Posted by: monique at September 30, 2004 05:13 PM

Not unless every man in the state of Texas is compensating. After all, they all drive those monster pickup trucks.

Then again...maybe they are all compensating...something to consider.

Posted by: Kerry at September 30, 2004 05:29 PM

We see lots of those trucks around here (Texas, ya know). I've thought of doing a photoblog dedicated only to them, some of them are freakishly tall.

But I usually can't see the drivers. Do you have anybody driving around in the little imported cars with the stereo that can rattle windows and sterilize cattle for a mile around? We get that, too.

Posted by: ben at September 30, 2004 05:44 PM

I think he is definately compensating. I, being the loud mouth that I am, would have simply said to him...
"Sir, I don't think they sell anything in an extra small here..."
I'll also venture a bet that he had some kind of bumber sticker to proclaim his manliness, something like...
"Ex-lovers make great speed bumps"

Posted by: Jade at September 30, 2004 07:49 PM

I live in Texas where "Real Men Drive Trucks." At least that's what they say when they climb up into their big, giant, red, extended cab, dually wheel, hemi engine, penis.

Posted by: Wendy at October 1, 2004 12:57 AM

Total penis extension. Sad...

Posted by: Casey at October 1, 2004 12:04 PM

Definitely compensation. That's why the car that I usually drive is a Honda Civic (my wife drives the bigger car because she totes the daughter and mine sits in a parking lot during the week). I am secure with who I am and don't have to compensate, (also too poor to buy a flashy sports car like I want to drive before I die).

Posted by: ken at October 2, 2004 11:48 PM

I found your site while searching on Yahoo for examples of blogs. I am trying to start my own and I'm trying to learn how this works.

Posted by: mattv.dishvak at October 19, 2004 04:35 PM

Hey i think i saw a Dodge 2500 with a window decal with calvin and hobbes pissing on gun control. Oh yea that was my boyfriend

Posted by: Lilhoney at October 19, 2004 08:14 PM