October 25, 2004

Rhymes With Fizz

OR, WHEN POETRY AND PARENTS DON'T MIX

I've had lots of requests for the limmerick mentioned in yesterday's post authored by my lovely wife. And since I aim to please, well, here it is.


I hope you were able to jizz
Like a champ, a hero, a wiz
Cos I hear that sometimes
Guys...well...cross their lines
And just accidentally whiz.

You can see how, just maybe, its a little embarrassing for us to know that my parents saw this one especially since there's absolutely no context for it whatsoever. They're completely in the dark about the test because we haven't really felt like having that conversation with them yet. Last night over dinner, Beth and I explored some possibilities for clarification.

Me: Maybe it was just my mom. Maybe she didn't have her glasses with her so she couldn't read it.
Beth: Have you led that good a life?
Me: Good point. No.
Beth: Do you think they know what jizz is?
Me: Um, yeah, probably. But maybe we can throw them off next time we see them.
Beth: How?
Me: Convince them its an expression or something. Like gee, guys, thanks for dinner. That pasta was da jizz!
Beth: No. I don't think so.

Posted by Chris at October 25, 2004 08:50 PM
Comments

Oh my goodness ha ha ha. That is hilarious. Well at least you're married. It would be a whole other situation if that wasn't the case :)

Posted by: Colby at October 26, 2004 08:36 AM

"thanks mom! that pasta was the jizz"

You made my day - that was hilarious in the context of your post!

Posted by: Kimmer at October 26, 2004 08:38 AM

You need to have EVERYONE around them..friends, family, the butcher, mailman, etc...start using the word "jizz". Before ya know it - Mom will be a'jizzin right along with everyone else!

Posted by: debby at October 26, 2004 08:54 AM

Oh yes, what a good idea. That way they can tell the preacher at church next Sunday that his sermon was "the jizz". :D

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at October 26, 2004 09:01 AM

Jizz because I think y'all are great, I'm gonna try and work "jizz" into as many conversations, reports, e-mails and important memos to staff as possible. Eventually it will get back to your parents, and they will come to you and go "Ya know, I keep hearing this word, and I thought maybe perhaps I kinda saw it written on your refrigerator of all places. What was that note again?"

Posted by: ben at October 26, 2004 09:25 AM

sorry, but that. is. hysterical. :)

Posted by: laura at October 26, 2004 09:32 AM

LMAO
That pasta was da jizz!
Ok, I have to give you creativity kudos there, but, you made me spit coffee all over the keyboard!
LOL

Posted by: Jade at October 26, 2004 10:05 AM

LOL. I'll never be able to look at another plate of pasta the same ever again. Thank you!

Posted by: charm at October 26, 2004 10:17 AM

*going to urban dictionary to look up jizz* - I am making a wild guess here, but must have firm definition...Man I feel old sometimes!

Posted by: Amber at October 26, 2004 11:06 AM

Ok, I was right...

Posted by: Amber at October 26, 2004 11:08 AM

You two are too funny. Jizz...I think I can work that into my vocab. LOL.

Posted by: myllissa at October 26, 2004 11:09 AM

HA HA HA HA...ahem..oh, sorry. That's the funniest limerick I've seen in a long time, especially when you put it into context. I can't imagine anyone else reading it though, least of all someone of the parental pursuasion!

Posted by: doulazanie at October 26, 2004 11:17 AM

jizz is short for jizz-nit isn't it?

Posted by: Mike at October 26, 2004 11:22 AM

I can't decide if I find that horrifying or hysterical. I jizz can't decide.

Posted by: bmh at October 26, 2004 11:51 AM

::falls over laughing:: That's it... you da jizz, yo!!!

ha. hahahaha.

Posted by: Fae at October 26, 2004 12:39 PM

Hee. I'm totally going to try to work jizz into my everyday vernacular.

Posted by: Heather at October 26, 2004 12:51 PM

That pasta was da jizz? Brilliant. And gross. But mostly brilliant. Jizz brilliant.

Posted by: Fraulein N at October 26, 2004 01:29 PM

HAHAHAHA! That's BRLILLIANT!

Posted by: Tjej at October 26, 2004 03:15 PM

You really need to do this. Whether or not it will work isn't the point. It's too funny to just let blow over.

Posted by: RockStar Mommy at October 26, 2004 04:04 PM

LMAO - this entry is da jizz :)

Posted by: Steel Buildings Diary at October 26, 2004 05:28 PM

LOL - That pasta was the jizz....that's hysterical - gotta remember that one.

Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) at October 26, 2004 05:53 PM

Oh wow. A couple years ago, a friend of mine had an email address with the word jizz in it, and I didn't know what it meant. The one who alerted me to it being somewhat questionable was our music pastor. Not specifically mind you, but enough to warrant a trip to www.urbandictionary.com. Go figure.

Posted by: Heather at October 26, 2004 08:48 PM

Dude, you absolutely rule.

Posted by: tescosuicide at October 26, 2004 10:41 PM

Mrs. Cactus is WAY funny! I was laughing so hysterically my boyfriend had to ask me why I was laughing and snorting...I couldn't explain the jizz and the wiz! Or why the pasta he made me for dinner was the jizz! LMAO

Posted by: gypsy at October 27, 2004 12:24 AM

Next time tell them it's short for jazz, because if you tell them That pasta was da jizz, they might throw up, and that's not good!

Posted by: Rockchild at October 27, 2004 01:27 AM

It's the Jizzer. You're speaking like Missy Elliott in that limerick, I think. Just start talking like they do in that one song of hers where it's all weird words separated by Zzzz's.

Posted by: Coleen at October 27, 2004 09:10 AM

You aim too, please.

Posted by: ben at October 27, 2004 10:11 AM

Jizz and pasta...um...better not. Can't wait to hear how this plays out.

Posted by: Michelle at October 27, 2004 11:38 AM

heh. Do you think they know what jizz is? That just cracks me up. How long has that term been in existence any idea?

Posted by: wlfldy at October 27, 2004 12:04 PM