November 01, 2004

Haiku For Monday #52

Fifty-two haikus.
Here's a haikuversary
retrospective, yo!

Chris Bitches About Mondays

The weekend is gone
And now I'm trying to work
Crap crap crap crap crap

Monday comes too soon
You can’t hit “snooze” forever
But you sure can try

Cold Monday morning
Icy windshield, freezing hands
I need a stiff drink

Monday already
Oh, where did the weekend go?
Come back, weekend, back!

Four day weekend's done
Back to slaving for the man
Why, why must we work?

What's worse than Monday?
Mid-day dentist appointment.
And many meetings.

Freezing cold morning
Mondays can kiss my chapped ass
Pucker up baby

Winter Mondays seem
Too cold to emerge from bed
But alas I'm here

After a gorgeous
weekend, you expect me to
sit inside all day?

Woohoo, its Monday!
Oh wait, that's not a good thing.
Oh well, never mind.

Don't want to be here.
Note to self: start faking cough.
Yeah, that's the ticket.

Two restful days gone.
Now Monday morning's here and
I've got shit to do!

Dear Monday, why don't
you go bug someone else, eh?
Take off you hoser!

AC? Not so much.
The net? Not so much either.
Monday? Not so great.

Monday, rain, sniffles,
presentation for The Man.
Week's starting off well.

Fall is here and so
are Monday morning meetings.
Yay for four day weeks!

Crap! Monday so soon?
Dumb calendar inventor.
Two-day weekends? Gah!

Monday, I curse you!
Forcing me up at darkness
and making me work!

An Obsession With Coffee

Asprin and coffee
Just what I need this morning
I'll call it breakfast

Brain cells not working
Can't think of witty haiku
Must drink more coffee

It's only seven
But I'm already stressed-out
Coffee, more coffee

Office half empty
Java flowing, workers tired
Bed calling our names

Awake, alive but
I've got too much work to do.
Coffee...more coffee.

I'm armed with coffee
and donuts, but I still don't
wanna be here, yo!

Ain't enough coffee
to keep my sad ass moving
and eyes propped open.

General Bitchery About The Man

Three-day week ahead
But I have the work of ten
Not thankful for that

Empty parking lot
Holiday week, no one's here
Party, my office!

Holidays over
All are returning to work
At least physically

Oh a holiday
Why don't I get the day off?
Bad employer, bad

Holiday? Oh no.
Others sleep, but I am here
Working for The Man.

Calm before the storm
The upcoming week could suck
Fasten your seatbelts

I can only hope
This week falls well short of last
In terms of suckage

I'm back from the beach
to face windowless office
and scads of email.

Gorgeous morning but
I'll be stuck inside all day.
Still, beautiful day.

So many things to
get done by the end of June.
Ugh, ew...and all that.

Spring, yet office-bound.
Would I rather be outside?
Do bears shit in woods?

Holidays, Sick Days and Heavy Weather

Winter came calling
And left behind snowy roads
I'm working from home

Can someone tell me
Just where in the hell spring went?
Its freaking cold out!

Somebody stole the
Easter Bunny because he
never came Sunday.

It's Monday but its
only a three-day week cos
I'm headed beach-ward!

Remember those whose
valiance guaranteed freedoms
and cost them their lives.

Despite warning in
jest, who do you think got burned
lighting fireworks?
If you said "cactus"
you're right! Don't worry - I still
have all my fingers :-)

Can't shake this damn cold!
Called in sick. Monday's for rest.
Working in PJs.

Holiday Monday!
Loosely translated - no work!
Happy Labor Day!

The vacation had
to end sometime. Back at work
at oh-dark-thirty.


Sleep eluded me
Awake and checking the clock
The whole freaking night

Good morning cold day
My eyes are not yet open
Which made driving tough

I'm saving my best
For Thursday's Haiku Smackdown
Come play on Thursday

Did your weekend fly
As quickly as mine seemed to?
Shame it works that way

Out of the office
Friday, playing with my tool.
Billion emails now.

As Aerosmith sang
I'm back! I'm back! I'm back in
the saddle again.

Oh, I have gmail
invites if you're interested.
Drop my a line, yo.

Hey, weekend! Where did
you go? You're always running
out the door too fast.

Can you remind me
what it is I'm doing here
so freaking early?

Posted by Chris at November 1, 2004 07:56 AM

Chris? You need help

Posted by: Pamalamadingdong at November 1, 2004 08:36 AM

I smell a haiku book deal. 'Working for The Man: A Bleary-Eyed Collection'

Posted by: lady jane at November 1, 2004 08:45 AM

May you haiku forever
You know you want to. :)

Posted by: charm at November 1, 2004 09:53 AM

OOOH. Rude Cactus Haiku Chapbook. Duuuuuude. That would be AWESOME.

Posted by: Tara at November 1, 2004 12:14 PM

These had me cracking up this morning. I think a Rude Cactus Haiku Chapbook would be in order, and perhaps an audio recording as well.

Posted by: Jenny at November 1, 2004 01:22 PM