Crunch Time

I've never guest blogged before. The power! THE POWER! Bwahahahahaha!
*head thrown back, shaking raised fists in the air*

Speaking of power - I've been busy in self-contemplation, and I think that I'm more likely to be a evil super power than a force for good. To wit:

1) I laugh when surrounded by chaos.
2) I unleash my hell-spawn on our community on a semi-frequent basis.
3) Save the world or watch Desperate Housewives? Not even a tough call.
4) I have about eight arms, which I use like a snake charmer and also? To shock and awe.
5) I like to dress like a bad girl.

Shortly after the birth of my second child, I ventured to the zoo for an outing with a friend. All was well until the baby had a diaper blowout of epic proportions, and my 18 month old took off for the playground while I was trying to change his diaper.

Crunch time. Baby with naked, poo-covered butt. Toddler heading for the hills. Stroller with purse and camera and video camera and enough supplies to survive a winter in the arctic plus run a triage unit in a major city hospital, resulting in a heavy load that required two hands to push.

Time's up. What do you do?

With a strangled aaaaaargh! I shouldered my month old son, slimy naked hiney displayed to God and Country, and abandoned the stroller as I sprinted after my fleeing, flapping daughter, who had the indecency to giggle and say "git you!" at me as I was closing in on her. In slow motion, I reached a hand out, and snagged her shoulder. I spun on my heel, long hair swinging in an arc, baby wailing, and toddler protesting. We made it back to the stroller and I held my daughter's torso snuggly between my knees while I wrangled the baby in to a clean diaper.

And then I began to laugh and cry at the same time.

That was the transforming moment, when I went from normal woman to Evil Mommy. I'm thinking the time has come for me to design an outfit. Probably would be a good idea to stick with poo-brown, though, to save on dry cleaning.

Jenny