November 18, 2004

World Wide Weird

Two things - in the Unintentionally Funny Spam category, I give you the following. I'm not really sure why I find it so funny, but it cracked me up!

Next,I was mulling over my site stats this afternoon and I stumbled on the search strings that brought some people here. Have I mentioned lately that people scare me sometimes? Figured I'd share some more with you.

Search strings: Searching for search strings? My god. Doesn't that cause a rift in the space-time continuum?

Big bootie: You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?

Monday sucks Mickey Mouse: Mondays suck. But I don't know if they suck that bad. Maybe only Donald.

Albino porn: Might I recommend White Men Can't Hump?

Hello my name is tags: Hey, Tags!

Ass slips: Ever just been sitting there at a bar after work and suddenly find yourself on the floor? Yep, another case of ass slippage.

Freddie Mercury - hat birthday party: I'm not sure what to do with this one. Really, what were you thinking? Too. Many. Jokes.

How to eat cactus: Please step away from the blog.

Mooning gnome: And my Indian name is Laughing Cactus.

Blas Elias 2004: How scary is it that I know Blas Elias is the drummer for hair metal band Slaughter? Very.

Freezing snow nude: All it takes is a sustained temperature at or below 32 degrees. I'm not sure why nudity is required.

Rasputin tits: Well, same to you, Ivan The Terrible Ass!

Hovercraft portable toilet: Get a patent. You're going places, baby. Taking multi-tasking to an all new level.

Posted by Chris at November 18, 2004 06:02 PM

Damn that invisible line, it haunts me too.

Posted by: Mike at November 18, 2004 06:23 PM

What I'd like to see is a SPAM filter that will bounce back any emails with horrendous grammar and sentence structure. lol And if the line is invisible, how do you know whether or not you've crossed it?

Posted by: groovebunny at November 18, 2004 07:04 PM

i used to have fun with the search hits people used to hit my site(s). my favorite of all time was the person searching for 'cross-stitch vagina'. man, that's a pattern i'd love to see myself.

i'm not letting any spiders index my site anymore though. the kiddie porn searches would send me into severely bad moods and so outweighed any potential fun to be had. people. so strange. and not in the good way.

Posted by: patricia at November 18, 2004 07:07 PM

I think I'm going to be and just say "sorry, this account you just wrote to no longer works..."


Posted by: alektra at November 18, 2004 07:12 PM

I know why I think it is funny! Because the represent part...

It reminds me of that whole evil lollipop guild part of The Wizard of Oz...scary stuff!!!

Posted by: Amy at November 18, 2004 08:02 PM most recent search strings on badgroove? Hostess Snoballs and Slutty Amy. Nice huh?

Posted by: Amy at November 18, 2004 08:03 PM

I promise that I won't tell you any of my strange search strings because it will just bring them all to your site. If I were to type something like v!rgin-crocod!les-underwe@r-fetis#, then you'd be getting hits all over the place. So I won't, just to save you from that. :)

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at November 18, 2004 08:44 PM

So now Rasputin was a hermaphrodite. Interesting. *runs and hides in the cupboard* FEAR!

Posted by: Heather at November 18, 2004 08:46 PM

Completely unrelated to this post, but I had to let you know... I went and saw Manilow last night. And thought of you. I was drunk, but I did sing along. To Mandy. And lots of other songs. What a fabulous time! Just had to share...

Posted by: Christine at November 18, 2004 10:13 PM

Okay - I'm about to wake my kids up laughing so hard! That is too funny!!!!!!

Posted by: Em at November 18, 2004 11:18 PM

oh my god. it hurts. please... make the laughter stop. lmao.

Posted by: Manda at November 18, 2004 11:42 PM

It's about time somebody did an entry on this. I wish I had a good one for you, but I JUST booted up a new computer and have not yet configured outlook email....spam jungle.

Your wit cracks me up, CHris.


Posted by: SOSwryter at November 18, 2004 11:48 PM

lol ... too funny chris .. have a good night ...

Posted by: Rosie at November 19, 2004 01:17 AM

Curses upon the evil spambot!

Posted by: Heather at November 19, 2004 05:00 AM

I'm not worried so much about the albino porn as I am about WHY it directed them to your site. But "ass slips" is funny. Seriously, I'm going to be trying to figure that one out.

Posted by: Fraulein N at November 19, 2004 08:11 AM

*can't stop laughing at Rasputin tits*

Posted by: s. at November 19, 2004 08:22 AM


oops! am not allowed to laugh in school, apparently!

Posted by: Maureen at November 19, 2004 09:13 AM

Mooning gnome! The mental image from that one is cracking me up.

Posted by: bad penguin at November 19, 2004 09:48 AM

Dude, I told you not to tell anyone that I call my boobs "Rasputin tits." Way to share it with the INTERNET, Chris! God.

Posted by: Coleen at November 19, 2004 09:50 AM

Ass slippage and how to eat cactus. Sounds like you've got some stalkers! LOL

Posted by: Jade at November 19, 2004 05:49 PM

Blas was freakin' HOT...oh man, that hair. My 14-year-old self was in LOVE.

Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) at November 19, 2004 06:22 PM

Rasputin tits?

Posted by: :: jozjozjoz :: at November 19, 2004 09:31 PM

LMAO, Oh my goodness CHRIS! I forgot how hard your entries made me laugh.... hehehe
**good for the soul***

Posted by: Ana at November 20, 2004 12:15 AM

Hilarious posts! You're a regular comedian! Keep it up!

Posted by: Ryan at November 20, 2004 12:29 AM

ROTFLOL :))) I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts!

Posted by: Sweety at November 20, 2004 08:38 AM

The things that goes on is some people's minds is so scary.

I love that response to the hovercraft portable toilet. 'You're going places, baby.' (I am absolutley smitten with that one.)

Don't you just get this mental image of a true snerd sitting on the google search box thinking 'ok, where do I want to go today?'

Posted by: wlfldy at November 22, 2004 09:26 AM