December 21, 2004
Reasons To Flee
Reasons I need to just leave now and embark upon my five day weekend:
- Its freakin' cold in here. I lost contact with my legs hours ago.
- The fool outside my door who's been talking about nothing but football stats for the last half hour.
- The other guy down the hallway who's on the phone talking about a "dip" in his driveway. Could he perhaps be discussing himself?
- My slight attitude problem with respect to work this week.
- Problems? Fixed. Status? Bored.
- Driveway Dip has moved on to his broken dishwasher. Lots of talk about cut-off valves and wiring. Oh...breaking news: he's having a plumber come over to take a look. You'll also be happy to know he's cooking a beef tenderloin for Christmas. He seems a little concerned about this development since he's never prepared one before. But he is cooking it with parsley, breadcrumbs and bacon. After cutting it down the middle and stuffing it with something. Then tying it back up. And in case you were curious, last night was his wife's birthday so they went out to dinner. Turkish food, I believe. Oh, the results of the blood test were good too, in case you were concerned. Cholesterol is a bit high but nothing to be too concerned about. By the way, "Whiskers" is a chewer. Chews all kinds of stuff in the house. Don't suppose Whiskers is his wife, do you?
You can't make this stuff up, people...
Posted by Chris at December 21, 2004 03:47 PM
I think I need to post a co-worker's conversation too! There's one down the hall from me that has an annoying 'hee, hee, hee!' laugh meant only for girls under the age of 12... And I hear it every 5 minutes.
Haha! Go home already! :)
Hehe. That reminds me of my very first day working here. I started out as the receptionist and I worked in a lovely area to meet and greet people as they came in for business. Not after sitting down for 5 minutes, the head Risk guy and CFO come over and introduce themselves. That was fine, until they started discussing their adventures in *prostate* exams and issues. Ewww! Like I really wanted to know that! lol
I hereby give you permission:
1. to strangle dishwasher, whiskers guy with his phone cord
2. Drop kick football guy
3. GO HOME
heehee. that's hilarious. now, go home :D just don't tell them I told you it was okay. :)
At my last job I got to hear about a lady who was just diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome...and what symptoms led up to it. Seriously people, do we need to put out a book on what you can and cannot discuss when you work in a cubicle?
Dude, GO HOME. But not until you find out if Whiskers is his wife, and why he calls her Whiskers.
I think you have to leave now, before you start to harm yourself-- clawing at your ears to get the voices to stop, maybe.
pick up the phone and start a very animated conversation about colon spasms and the growth on your back. make sure you mention how you think the postule on your sphincter popped. =)
oh, and have a good time off!
Get out of there and enjoy your holiday vacation! Hopefully I'll talk to you before the big day!
ahhhhh....i remember those cubicle days. glad to be rid of them!!
okay, i am totally nosey and LOVE listening to other people's conversations....so i totally loved this post....sad really, ah well....i'll get over it!!
Enjoy the time off bro!
Today was my "Friday" too...I felt like a little kid leaving school on the last day! Now it's off to NJ to be at mom's for Christmas (but not for too long-can only take it in small doses). =) Have a great holiday!
The cubicle crowd needs to dust off their etiquette books. Medical matters are considered private and inappropriate to discuss with coworkers. My mum-in-law taught her children the old adage, "We should not talk about people or things, but about ideas." Wouldn't that make work conversations more edifying? Happy Christmas!
I'm commenting from work... I'm here alone, the only voices I hear are the ones in my head.
At a previous job of mine I was working on a "assembly line" type deal, and there were 6 other people working with me... for an 8 hour shift. For 6 of the 8 hours all they did was compare TuPac and Biggie... I thought I was going to murder every single one of them.
Kitty... I'm sorry about your coworker with the Hee Hee Hee laugh. That is just awful.
Feel your pain, all that ever gets talked about in our office is football.... I really know jack about football so I am always forced to listen
I was really worried about the blood test results...
I'll trade you my exaggerated-story-liar-that-traps-me-by-the-door-guy for your dip man.
how did I go from 80 in LA to 10 in Ely, NV? Oh, that's right, because I am CRAZY.
Lit agent LOVES the chapters I sent her, BTW!