December 21, 2004

Reasons To Flee

Reasons I need to just leave now and embark upon my five day weekend:

- Its freakin' cold in here. I lost contact with my legs hours ago.

- The fool outside my door who's been talking about nothing but football stats for the last half hour.

- The other guy down the hallway who's on the phone talking about a "dip" in his driveway. Could he perhaps be discussing himself?

- My slight attitude problem with respect to work this week.

- Problems? Fixed. Status? Bored.

- Driveway Dip has moved on to his broken dishwasher. Lots of talk about cut-off valves and wiring. Oh...breaking news: he's having a plumber come over to take a look. You'll also be happy to know he's cooking a beef tenderloin for Christmas. He seems a little concerned about this development since he's never prepared one before. But he is cooking it with parsley, breadcrumbs and bacon. After cutting it down the middle and stuffing it with something. Then tying it back up. And in case you were curious, last night was his wife's birthday so they went out to dinner. Turkish food, I believe. Oh, the results of the blood test were good too, in case you were concerned. Cholesterol is a bit high but nothing to be too concerned about. By the way, "Whiskers" is a chewer. Chews all kinds of stuff in the house. Don't suppose Whiskers is his wife, do you?

You can't make this stuff up, people...

Posted by Chris at December 21, 2004 03:47 PM
Comments

LMAO!

I think I need to post a co-worker's conversation too! There's one down the hall from me that has an annoying 'hee, hee, hee!' laugh meant only for girls under the age of 12... And I hear it every 5 minutes.

Posted by: Kitty at December 21, 2004 04:11 PM

Haha! Go home already! :)

Hehe. That reminds me of my very first day working here. I started out as the receptionist and I worked in a lovely area to meet and greet people as they came in for business. Not after sitting down for 5 minutes, the head Risk guy and CFO come over and introduce themselves. That was fine, until they started discussing their adventures in *prostate* exams and issues. Ewww! Like I really wanted to know that! lol

Posted by: groovebunny at December 21, 2004 04:11 PM

I hereby give you permission:
1. to strangle dishwasher, whiskers guy with his phone cord
2. Drop kick football guy
3. GO HOME

Posted by: Jazzy at December 21, 2004 04:16 PM

heehee. that's hilarious. now, go home :D just don't tell them I told you it was okay. :)

Posted by: Manda at December 21, 2004 04:17 PM

At my last job I got to hear about a lady who was just diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome...and what symptoms led up to it. Seriously people, do we need to put out a book on what you can and cannot discuss when you work in a cubicle?

Posted by: tone at December 21, 2004 04:19 PM

Dude, GO HOME. But not until you find out if Whiskers is his wife, and why he calls her Whiskers.

Posted by: Dawnie at December 21, 2004 04:29 PM

I think you have to leave now, before you start to harm yourself-- clawing at your ears to get the voices to stop, maybe.

Posted by: bmh at December 21, 2004 04:30 PM

pick up the phone and start a very animated conversation about colon spasms and the growth on your back. make sure you mention how you think the postule on your sphincter popped. =)

Posted by: monique at December 21, 2004 04:46 PM

oh, and have a good time off!

Posted by: monique at December 21, 2004 04:46 PM

Get out of there and enjoy your holiday vacation! Hopefully I'll talk to you before the big day!

Posted by: RockStar Mommy at December 21, 2004 04:53 PM

ahhhhh....i remember those cubicle days. glad to be rid of them!!

okay, i am totally nosey and LOVE listening to other people's conversations....so i totally loved this post....sad really, ah well....i'll get over it!!

Posted by: miss macy at December 21, 2004 05:04 PM

Start your weekend NOW!

Posted by: :: jozjozjoz :: at December 21, 2004 06:53 PM

Too funny! Now GO HOME!

Posted by: Amber at December 21, 2004 06:53 PM

Happy holidayze!!!

Enjoy the time off bro!

Dew

Posted by: DewNut at December 21, 2004 06:59 PM

Today was my "Friday" too...I felt like a little kid leaving school on the last day! Now it's off to NJ to be at mom's for Christmas (but not for too long-can only take it in small doses). =) Have a great holiday!

Posted by: naomi at December 21, 2004 08:57 PM

The cubicle crowd needs to dust off their etiquette books. Medical matters are considered private and inappropriate to discuss with coworkers. My mum-in-law taught her children the old adage, "We should not talk about people or things, but about ideas." Wouldn't that make work conversations more edifying? Happy Christmas!

Posted by: bonnie at December 21, 2004 11:37 PM

I'm commenting from work... I'm here alone, the only voices I hear are the ones in my head.

At a previous job of mine I was working on a "assembly line" type deal, and there were 6 other people working with me... for an 8 hour shift. For 6 of the 8 hours all they did was compare TuPac and Biggie... I thought I was going to murder every single one of them.

Kitty... I'm sorry about your coworker with the Hee Hee Hee laugh. That is just awful.

Posted by: Mary Jo at December 22, 2004 04:07 AM

Feel your pain, all that ever gets talked about in our office is football.... I really know jack about football so I am always forced to listen

Posted by: Dr Maybe at December 22, 2004 07:20 AM

I was really worried about the blood test results...

Posted by: wlfldy at December 22, 2004 07:36 AM

I'll trade you my exaggerated-story-liar-that-traps-me-by-the-door-guy for your dip man.

Posted by: Gweny at December 22, 2004 05:24 PM

how did I go from 80 in LA to 10 in Ely, NV? Oh, that's right, because I am CRAZY.

Lit agent LOVES the chapters I sent her, BTW!

Merry Christmas!

Posted by: amy at December 23, 2004 02:18 PM