January 22, 2005

The Capade Plan

We were at a bar for happy hour (yes, me the non-drinker and my pregnant wife) with a few friends, one of whom's a complete and utter hockey addict. Since there's no season this year, he's in pain. I think we came up with a good alternative.

Me: How are you holding up without hockey?
Him: Sucks. Withdrawl. Football is an okay substitute but it doesn't quite do it.
Me: That does suck.
Him: I went to a local non-professional game but it didn't work.
Me: See, what you need to do is get tickets for a capade. You know, like, Disney On Ice or something like that. Then go and just pretend you're at a hockey game.
Him: Like, throw my beer at one of the characters? I like it.
Me: Yeah and get up to the glass and scream horribly inappropriate things. "You won't find Nemo that way, bitch!" You know, like that.
Him: Its a plan.
Me: Okay....can I come too, because I'd really like to see that?
Him: Of course!
Me: We'd be the first people to ever get thrown out of a capade. And I'm really okay with that.

Um yeah..get me, the future father. Scary.

Posted by Chris at January 22, 2005 10:55 AM
Comments

That's probably one of the funniest ideas that I've ever heard of! I'm not really a hockey fan, but I would pay some good money to see someone go off like that at an ice capade!

Posted by: Chroniccoder at January 22, 2005 11:01 AM

One year I had bought tickets to "Aladdin On Ice" for my kids as one of their Christmas presents. My oldest daughter began complaining of an ear ache the day we were supposed to go. Dr said it wasn't a big deal, don't cancel our plans, so we went. The kids were chosen to be part of a handful that got to go down on the ice and meet the characters during an intermission. They were so excited! Almost as soon as they were escorted out on a little trailor pulled by a zamboni, my oldest daughter leaned over the side and puked all over the ice. We've never been back to one.

Posted by: Jade at January 22, 2005 11:35 AM

Do it at a Barney Ice Capade, and it's even better.

Film it. you could sell it.

Posted by: alektra at January 22, 2005 11:37 AM

i'm smelling the winning entry to America's Funniest Home Videos!

and please remind your friend about minor league hockey... that's whats been keeping us sane (relatively) over here... or maybe he could coordinate some sort of Disney v. Ice Capades type thing.

Posted by: monique at January 22, 2005 12:14 PM

Newspaper headline: "Two Men Ejected From Disney Ice Show For Inciting Fracas"

"We sell beer here?" says event organizer.

"I suppose I'll be expected to clean up the mess," grouses Cinderella.

Posted by: Jay at January 22, 2005 12:46 PM

Heheheh, tape it so we can see it too :)) Or we can all come, like anual blogger anti capade conspiricy.

Posted by: Sweety at January 22, 2005 12:56 PM

Way too funny. I think I will remind my mother that I never forced her to sit through one of those things. Probably right before my birthday:-)

Posted by: Oliquig at January 22, 2005 01:29 PM

I love it!!! Just think, when you have your child you can teach them to do that too...it can be a father child outing LOL

Posted by: Nina at January 22, 2005 01:37 PM

I have been forced to endure Disney on Ice two years running and I'd fully pay to see some drunk bastard come pelting onto the ice and jump Snow White. Gawd, I HATE Disney on Ice!!! If my kid asks to go again this year I'm going to tell her no way but I'm sure we can have her placed with a nice new family who enjoys shit like that.

Posted by: Mary at January 22, 2005 02:31 PM

Oooh, me too! Me too!

When you do this, let me know. I am SO there.

Also, you're not a father YET. This will be a fun story for one of your relatives to tell about you when your baby is old enough to understand, but still young enough to think that DAD could never have done something like that.

Posted by: Dawnie at January 22, 2005 03:47 PM

my boyfriend and his dad are real hockey buffs, and they're having major withdrawals, also. maybe i should get some Disney on Ice tickets? haha.

Posted by: tiffanie at January 22, 2005 04:45 PM

I can't tell if you are kidding or not.

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at January 22, 2005 04:59 PM

That would be awesome.

I took my nephew to Monsters on Ice over Christmas (I know. And no I cannot account for the temporary lapse in judgement) and the coolest part by far for me (save for the awesome omnipresent look of wonder and gratefulness on his 3yo face) was watching the dads dragged there against their will grimace and counting the moments until they were released from their pain.

Posted by: bond girl at January 22, 2005 05:46 PM

Yeah I just heard about the no hockey thing last week. The hockey team from my fiancÚ's (I love saying that!) parent's town has an American player in it from the pros back home. Guess he's just keeping himself in shape until next season!

Posted by: Tjej at January 22, 2005 07:30 PM

LOL!
Hillarious....

Posted by: La-Bella at January 22, 2005 07:31 PM

Heh. You'll find that these moments of "Oh my God I'm the most inappropriate parent" never really leave. We were at a puppet show not long ago -- 'Sleeping Beauty', if I remember correctly. When the Prince approached the bed, I loudly whispered to my husband that I expected him to grab her shoulders and scream "Wake up!" into her face like Shrek did. The Dad on the other side of me said, "Christ, I WISH!!!"

And by the way... I got hammered two years ago at "Disney Princesses on Ice". Snuck in a flask. It's the only way to go, man.

Posted by: Stacy at January 22, 2005 07:38 PM

You HAVE to dress up like Disney characters and paint your faces like 'ultimate fans'. The you HAVE to buy foam fingers to wave. Practice grunting and screaming.
The cameras LOVE spectacle!
Shirtless helps, too.

Posted by: lissa at January 22, 2005 08:14 PM

I love it, you must take photos/video if it does come to pass! lol I know some of my guy friends would TOTALLY do something like this on a dare.

Posted by: amy at January 23, 2005 01:19 AM

hey, SOMEONE needs to shake those ice capade shows up a bit, so why not! ;)

Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) at January 23, 2005 09:20 PM

Sweet! That's an awesome idea!

Posted by: Jaded Angel at January 23, 2005 10:13 PM

Is it ok that I just love that idea?

Posted by: Gweny at January 24, 2005 03:47 AM

as a future father, yelling inappropriate things at "sporting" events is a skill you must hone. after all, how else will you be able to embarrass the hell out of your children during their little league games? if you don't do it what will they talk to their therapists about? they'll be forced to come up with their own malfunctions. perish the thought.

Posted by: Patricia at January 24, 2005 08:33 AM

you and him do that and it HAS to be put on film. End of orders :)

Posted by: stinkerbell at January 25, 2005 12:05 PM