February 14, 2005

Lower Your Expectations. Its Monday.

Monday, oh Monday...I know its not your fault being the first day of the work week. But I still hate you so. Damn Romans and your damn calendar!

Here's a little tidbit you might have figured out about me already: I take most everything I do very personally. Whether its work, my relationships with friends and family, or even blogging, I really try to make everything I do a matter of pride. I never want to let anyone down in the process. Suffering because of that is usually something I'm willing to accept (apparently, I'm also something of a martyr). I think, however, I also expect others to approach the things they do in the same manner...and I'm often disappointed when they don't. In the back of my mind, though, I realize that both of these approaches do others and me a disservice. I guess I just don't like the idea of lowering my own expectations so that I won't be constantly dismayed.

Work has been frustrating lately and I've let it get to me. I mean really get to me. The phone calls and "quick action items" this weekend didn't help. You should also know, by now, that I'm pretty selfish with my time. When I leave work, I leave work. I'm also keenly aware that, while I'm so looking forward to being a dad, the quality alone time with Beth, even if its just sitting around watching movies, is going to end soon, at least as we know it now. In any case, working this weekend genuinely aggravated me.

Bitching about work isn't the point because in all honestly, I love my job and the people with whom I work. I guess, for all the funny I try and bring here, I'm an intensely serious person about certain things at certain times. And that side of me? Needs to lighten up occasionally. I'm okay with putting a lot of myself into everything I do but maybe sometimes I just need to remember what the important stuff is.

Posted by Chris at February 14, 2005 08:44 AM

I totally understand you! My weekends fly by even faster than the norm as well because I work on Saturdays. I would love to have a little down time as well. I think this summer, I am going to have to take a nice vacation to make up for everything I have been doing to myself this year. Now... where is the ode to Beth Valentine's Day post? LOL :)

Posted by: goodsnake at February 14, 2005 09:13 AM

I feel that way too - although I don't let it bleed over onto other people because their inability to match my utter perfectness is a constant source of amusement for me and I'd hate to lose that. *lol*

Posted by: Iki at February 14, 2005 09:42 AM

Oh, Chris. You're world is going to change so much in the next few years, that you won't even recognize it. Perspective. Not that you won't care about work so much, but I think there may be a transition from living to work, to working to live.

I wouldn't worry about being passionate about things you do. Its good. Its a drive that brings life to your life. Don't be surprised if you see an echo of it in the little one too. :)

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at February 14, 2005 10:10 AM

I am a lot like you-- I completely relate with often being disappointed in others for not feeling the same way.

But I also agree that it sometimes bites me in the ass, so I need to temper it!

Posted by: jenorama at February 14, 2005 10:12 AM

hey now only damn the ancient romans, the current ones (minus Mr. Moped) are pretty damn lazy on that monday morning concept :)

and if you learn how to lighten up please feel free to pass the message on to me :)

Posted by: stinkerbell at February 14, 2005 10:14 AM

You shouldn't worry about forcing your intensely serious side to lighten up. Your child will do that for you. That's their job. (Well, one of them.)

Posted by: melman at February 14, 2005 10:46 AM

I haven't been here for a bit so I needed to catch up. It's amazing how well I-belle sleeps or I'd have problems have some alone time with Druzba. Lucky us. Hope you have the same luck!!

Posted by: Amy at February 14, 2005 10:48 AM

It's okay, you're allowed to rant and complain every now and then. Hope the rest of your week is better. :o)

Posted by: Milly at February 14, 2005 10:52 AM

Good news, I'm blogging again. So I'm buzzing in to give you the new addresses.

http://whats-buzzing.blogspot.com - is my main blog

http://bee-lines.blogspot.com - is my creative writing blog

http://beecoming-fit.blogspot.com - is my fitness blog

See you there!!!

Posted by: Swt GA Hunny Bee at February 14, 2005 11:31 AM

Don't worry too much about quality time with Beth. It's not as bad as some people make it out to be. It does change when you go from being childless to not, but I expected to spend so much less time with my husband. With a toddler and two older step-children, we still find lots of time to spend together.
Just remember, keep the bed-time schedule strict and unwavering! You won't regret it. And always make sure to tip the good babysitters, as they're well worth it ;)

As for being done work when work is over, I'm so with you on that. But, working from home makes that almost impossible. So, I feel your pain.

Here's to a better, less stressful week full of more competent and less dependent people!

Posted by: RockStar Mommy at February 14, 2005 11:49 AM

Hang in there, brother. As a person who tends to also hold everyone up to my own expectations, I know where you're coming from, and it's a really hard thing to let go. And the work thing? You're so preaching to the choir!

Posted by: Heather at February 14, 2005 11:54 AM

Trust me if is was not Monday you would feel the same way about Tuesday but I can help you look at it in another way....be thankful you are healthy and can work....I use to be like you and then one day Multiple Sclerosis struck---now I wish for those day you have.....so honey rant and rave

Posted by: Vickie at February 14, 2005 11:57 AM

Word of encouragement, as I'm detecting a bit of melancholy regarding the Massive Paradigm Shift (i.e., new baby) that you're about to experience. Yes, your perspective on everything will change. What's kept me grounded and happy as a new dad is making the time to do the things I love, and trying hard to be a husband as well as a father. You'll be happier, and that kind of happiness rubs off on the kid. Don't panic - it ain't hard.

Posted by: Ruggerjay at February 14, 2005 12:39 PM

I'm with Goodsnake, totally expecting a Hallmark moment here at rudecactus. You totally dissapointed me :)) Just kidding!

Realazation of the fact that you might (I'm not saying you are :)) be a bit too serious at times is the first step to become less serious! Seriousely! :)

Posted by: Sweety at February 14, 2005 01:49 PM

Yeah...if you find a cure for that "being a perfectionist in your dealings with others and then feeling let down when they don't reciprocate," please let me know. Also, get a patent. I think there are lots of us!

Posted by: supine at February 14, 2005 02:16 PM

My work is scaring me lately. eek.

Posted by: Sue at February 14, 2005 05:17 PM

Sometimes weekends get wrecked. Just pop some Val Day candy, and go to bed early and snuggle with your lady. Things will be better in the morn.

Posted by: ken at February 14, 2005 06:15 PM

hey, we ALL need practice in remembering what the important stuff is. I got mine again yesterday. hug the kitties an extra time for me tonight.

Posted by: Keri at February 15, 2005 12:16 PM

I know how you feel. I'm wearing oodles of guilt because I don't have anything to put into my blog lately - I'm just so tired and totally worn out. And I feel like everything I do has to be perfect and on my terms or else I get this icky feeling.

Lately I feel very icky!!

Posted by: Gweny at February 15, 2005 02:11 PM