March 07, 2005

Your Dose of Monday Randomness

Happy Monday morning everyone! Wait. Backup. Did I actually say "Happy Monday morning?" Hmmm...clearly I'm not awake yet. It is Monday morning but I'm not even a little bit happy about it. If I could just sit around, bitch about it for a while then slowly get into the day, I'd be okay but I don't have that kinda time. No, I'm heavily scheduled this week. In fact, I'm about to start penciling bathroom breaks in on my calendar just in case. And? My head still hurts from shutting it in the car door this weekend.

How were your weekends? Overall, mine was good. I vegged out on Friday night while Beth went to a dinner thingy for a friend who's getting married. We slept uber-late on Saturday then did a little shopping (and I think I showed great self-restraint by not injuring stupid weekend Costco shoppers), went out for a nice dinner with the in-laws then came home and watched a movie (Out of Time...a pointless, generic thriller/mystery). Aside from catching another movie yesterday (Wonderland...a heartwarming tale of porn, drugs, and murder) we caught up on a little house work and cooked a nice dinner.

We did get to have the fun baby name conversation with the in-laws. I realize that I'm an awful human being for doing this, but I take pleasure in freaking my mother-in-law out (and I think Beth does too) because she can't always tell when I'm joking.

MIL: So...names.
Beth: We've got a few.
Me: But we're waiting till we find out what it is. That'll help.
MIL: But what are you thinking so far.
Me: Well, I like the idea of a name with "The" in it.
Beth: Like "The Hulk"
Me: Exactly.
Beth: There are a few others we've come up with too.
MIL: The??
Me: We've thought of naming it The Passion. So, it would be, like, The Passion of the Chris.
Beth: Yeah, I like that one.
Me: But my personal favorite is La-D'wayyne.
MIL: La-what?
Me: L-A hyphen D apostrophe W-A-Y-Y-N-E. Unique, huh?
MIL: Is that for a boy or a girl?
Beth: Either. Both! That's the beauty of it.
Me: We've also thought of a middle name in parenthesis.
Beth: Or quotes.
Me: Or...a silent middle name.

Believe it or not, her head did not explode. But I'm still not 100% sure she knew I was kidding. Or was I??

Posted by Chris at March 7, 2005 09:59 AM

Why not call him/her simply 'The Baby'.
Get his/her name changed when s/he's 2/3 years old to 'The Toddler'....'The Teenager'. You get my drift.

Posted by: Anakalia at March 7, 2005 10:10 AM

That is hilarious.

How about Th53 Passion, and the "5" is silent?

Posted by: jenorama at March 7, 2005 10:11 AM

thats hilarious,lol!!!! we often think of the most wretched names for when we have kids too, its just plain FUN!!! she really must have known you were kidding, i mean really.....anyway, have a great week :) still chuckling, you two are too much.

Posted by: lizabetty at March 7, 2005 10:17 AM

ROTFLAO!! Are you trying to kill her? I think it may work.

Posted by: Pixie at March 7, 2005 10:22 AM

My BIL wants a boy so badly and wants to name him Gunner Sebastian. Gunn for short. My SIL is totally fine with that and I'm trying to talk them out of it since they are dead serious. I worry for my future nephew - I don't want him to get beat up everyday for the rest of his life.

Thankfully they're not even pregnant yet, so I have plenty of time to convince them NOT to name their kid Gunner. At least they have a better girl name - Gabrielle. But Gunner? *rolling eyes*

Posted by: Kitty at March 7, 2005 10:43 AM

If it's a boy, give him a title. "Young Master" or "His Grace" or "Little Lord" work well. Personally, I envy your ability to freak out your in-laws with odd baby names. My Beth's parents wanted to name her brother "Gregorio". Even though they're both very, very Caucasian.

Posted by: Jason at March 7, 2005 10:50 AM

I like LA'Dwayyne The Passion of the Chris.
Two 'the'"s!!

Posted by: Jessica at March 7, 2005 11:02 AM

Oh, your poor mother-in-law. Be nice. But, that is funny. So, will you be sharing your name choices with the rest of us once you find out if it's a boy or a girl? C'mon, we all want to know.

Posted by: Milly at March 7, 2005 11:02 AM

thank goodness I wasn't drinking coffee while reading this - you two are awful! In a good way, of course. Thanks for the laugh on a Monday morning ;)

Posted by: samantha at March 7, 2005 11:08 AM

I forgive you for making me spray coffee all over my monitor.

It made my Monday just that much more tolerable.

Posted by: jen at March 7, 2005 11:14 AM

I think you should name him or her "La Jolla". Or even Ypsilanti, but pronounce it "Bob."

Posted by: Coleen at March 7, 2005 11:17 AM

'The Passion of the Chris' hahaha you're killing me!

I think you should stick with Lima Bean. Too cool.

Posted by: Sweety at March 7, 2005 11:26 AM

Y'all are seriously insanely funny!

Posted by: Tricia at March 7, 2005 11:31 AM

I think T.R. Cactus is a great name, or just The Cactus. you can nick name the limabean caci [pronounced like khaki]

Posted by: angel at March 7, 2005 11:56 AM

I love it. We live in an area full of creative namers and free-spellers. I did a stint in a monogramming shop, and had to do some uh, great baby blankets.

Phantayzia, Mauntanya, Bequi were all little girl names that stick out in my mind. There were little boys named Blaze and D'ondell.

Then, there was a family in a adjoining school district with the last name Polikas. The kids? Freakus and his sister Groovy Nipples.

Posted by: Jenny at March 7, 2005 12:27 PM

Our "concept" child's name is LaMont. For either a boy or a girl. Freaks out my MIL. I should find a way to throw an apostrophe in the mix too. Really send her through the roof!

Posted by: donna at March 7, 2005 01:55 PM

"Or even Ypsilanti, but pronounce it "Bob.""

oh, yes, this is a good idea. my cousin and her fiance are trying to find the most difficult to pronounce irish name for their upcoming baby boy. there are a bunch of names that have far too many h's, g's, u's and such and just end up being "owen" or "aaron" It's great!

yes, my cousin is evil, but what can i say, it runs in the family.

Posted by: jodi at March 7, 2005 02:26 PM

I love that Beth is so willing to go along with you in freaking out her mom.

Posted by: wendy at March 7, 2005 03:22 PM

LOL. I'm surprised you didn't throw Mr. Potato Head in there. Or that might have been too much of a give away that you were joking. lol

Posted by: groovebunny at March 7, 2005 03:28 PM

Y'all were so mean to Beth's mom! I do kind of like La-D'wayyne though. ;-)

Posted by: Kelley at March 7, 2005 03:36 PM

I think y'all should follow in my footsteps and simply call the baby "The Lima Bean" forever, shortening the name to simply "Bean" in the future. My mother get's her panties all in a bunch when she hears me call my daughter Bean.
"She is NOT a Bean! She is a baby girl!" is what I hear screeching at me all of the time. It's fun!

Posted by: Jade at March 7, 2005 04:12 PM

You totally stole the "The" thing from FRIENDS. YES YOU DID! YES YOU DID!

Posted by: Tjej at March 7, 2005 04:45 PM

Thanks for the much needed laugh. If you're taking votes, I love The Passion of the Chris.

Posted by: bad penguin at March 7, 2005 04:48 PM

a silent middle name. rotfl ... can I take a vacation in your brain? Too funny!

Posted by: Chepooka at March 7, 2005 04:54 PM

My vote is also for "The Passion of the Chris". Original and a biting political commentary! Ha! Also, amused by someone wanting to vacation in your brain...makes me think of "The Incredible Journey" and that GE Healthcare commercial.

Posted by: Heather at March 7, 2005 05:08 PM

A friend of mine gave his daughter the middle name "apostrophe." He says it's because he always wants her to be able to spell, but I know he really just wanted to annoy his mother in law.

Posted by: samantha at March 7, 2005 06:48 PM

you could always name the kid something in morse code... hi, this is dot dot dash dot dash dash dash

we always gave people bizarre names when they asked... before Cameron was born he was Maximillian Ebenezer. i actually grew to like it!

Posted by: monique at March 7, 2005 07:19 PM

Personally, like George Costanza, I'd go with a number -- an even one of course. Odd numbers are icky.

Funnily enough, before reading this entry, I had a conversation about strange names with my sister. It seems a friend of hers named her child after fabrics. When she was preggers she worked in a fabric store. So there's a reason but somehow that doesn't make things better. Go figure.

Posted by: patricia at March 7, 2005 07:34 PM

or name him/her a symbol, like Prince!

Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) at March 7, 2005 08:45 PM

I know, how about the symbol (formally known as the baby)

Posted by: sara at March 7, 2005 11:01 PM

too funny :-)
I agree.. "The Baby" sounds good...

Posted by: La Bella at March 7, 2005 11:30 PM

Just name the baby any of these..."Stop that" "Don't pick your nose" "Eat your vegetables" "Don't pull the cats tail" Any of these will save you both a lot of time later ;)

Posted by: DaFFy at March 8, 2005 09:16 AM

Can I vote for naming it after me? ;)

or you can do that thing like on Father of the Bride II where they consider using all the letters of their names to make the baby's name...

Chribthes? Huh? Huh?

Posted by: Gweny at March 10, 2005 12:12 AM