July 13, 2005

Flying Racoons and Effective Management

Last night? Not so much a good night for sleep. I distinctly recall Beth working on the plumbing. I could be making that up but I think she was trying to fix the toilet around 4:00 AM. Of course, I'm also the guy who dreamt the other night that Tom Selleck returned to earth from a mission to outer space (and why doesn't anyone say "outer" in conjunction with "space" anymore? Has space grown smaller or closer?), landed in the jungle, became Tarzan and defended the world's population from a) flying monkeys armed with exploding rocks b) racoons that had suddenly sprouted wings c) a really bad storm system. What I'm trying to say is that I'm a less than reliable source when it comes to differentiating dreams from reality at 4:00 in the morning. As I expect we all are.

I won't be around much today. I am headed to a training class. Apparently, after the whole session ends tomorrow afternoon, I'll be a more effective manager. I guess this means I have to stop calling employees "my bitches." I'll miss that.

Posted by Chris at July 13, 2005 06:33 AM

do the bitches like being called that? abbreviate somehow...part of the commoradaree.

great dreams dude! I can't remember last nights, but the night before was extremely disturbing. Yikes disturbing. leaves you a little shaken wondering where do these images live in my head?

good luck in Training, boring...effective managering would require less time in classes describing the type of manager you should be. but then again, there will be free food and beverages i am assuming...there is always that to look forward to.


Posted by: melanie at July 13, 2005 06:55 AM

You can always call them your minions. *grin* That's what I call the kids. "Hi, I'm Lauren. And these are my minions." =) Have a great day!

Posted by: Lauren at July 13, 2005 07:10 AM

Ah corporate training... the perfect sleep aid. And why does it seem that no matter the subject all of the presentation and materials seem very similar to every prior session?

Dreams? I've been having quite a few strange and vivid dreams due to the pregnancy. Does Beth have a lot of weird dreams now that she's preggers?

Posted by: HR Mommy at July 13, 2005 07:27 AM

Hope the day works out well... I couldn't tell if you dig the weird dreams or not, but if not, maybe a beer prior to sleep would help. Or make it weirder. Either way. :)

Posted by: susannah at July 13, 2005 07:33 AM

well, it's 4:54 my time and i'm up, and i've been awake since three. so, that sleep thing might be a national issue.

the other day after seeing batman, and all the movie preivews that went with it, i dreamed there was a super hero kid with powers to create large pieces of popcorn by yelling "pop!" He could fill a small bedroom in a few seconds. at least, i hope that was a dream. that wasn't one of the previews was it?

Posted by: jodi at July 13, 2005 08:01 AM

That is some dream. And do you really have to stop calling them "my bitches?" Maybe you can just whisper it to yourself. But, I guess there isn't much fun in that.

Posted by: Nicole at July 13, 2005 08:05 AM

one that is a WHACK dream
two employees are always to be called your bitches. bosses often can be referred to as those fuckers too :)

Posted by: stinkerbell at July 13, 2005 08:34 AM

Are you sure you're not having mild hallucinations due to lack of sleep? those dreams sound pretty whacky...i used to get some funky dreams when i was on an antidepressant...still have dreams now that i'm off (it was a side effect)...they're not bad, just very vivid...and strange sometimes...makes sleep an interesting time!

As for your 'bitches', i'm sure you'll find a new, more professional, corporate name for them after your meeting...

Posted by: Michelle at July 13, 2005 09:09 AM

Sigh. I haven't been sleeping enough, either, but I fell asleep smiling to Jon Stewart. You know, when he comes back on at freakin' midnight. And no, I don't like the new studio, thanks for asking.

Your dream DOES sound pretty whacked out. But I am a fan of the whacked out dreams.

Posted by: samantha at July 13, 2005 09:38 AM

If that proved effective, I guess you could keep calling them "your bitches". It works around here.

Posted by: ava at July 13, 2005 10:23 AM

Cripes, are you sure you're not pregnant? That sounds like one of the bizzaro dreams I tend to have while knocked up.

Posted by: A.K. at July 13, 2005 10:50 AM

wacky dream dude. but it still doesn't top the dream i had with german terrorists speaking in german with english subtitles.

subtitles. beat that ;)

Posted by: suze at July 13, 2005 11:02 AM

Weird dream about Tom Selleck. I have a theory on the dreams now.

Can I send some managers here to your training? I'm tired of them calling me that name too.

Posted by: Grace at July 13, 2005 11:15 AM

Interesting dream...

I didn't sleep much either last night, only b/c I was busy thinking of ways we can get Sierra to stop eating the house so we don't have to give her away. My stomach has been in knots all day, and it's only 10:30. Blah.

Posted by: Kitty at July 13, 2005 11:23 AM

I was with someone recently who called her (male) employees her heifers. eep. I've been too tired to dream - so living - er - sleeping vicariously through yours is fun!

Posted by: Sue at July 13, 2005 11:51 AM

Maybe you can still call them your bitches, if you do it in a nice, soothing voice?

Posted by: Queen of Ass at July 13, 2005 12:19 PM

Nah, they'll always be your bitches. You just have to choose carefully who you say it to.

Posted by: donna at July 13, 2005 12:19 PM

You're probably anxious about the new arrival. Wow she fixed the toilet at 4am? Maybe she was dancing around the toilet instead? "My bitches" sounds so Ali G.

Posted by: mrsmogul at July 13, 2005 12:24 PM

Wish I had time to read all the comments...I find that I have aa hard time telling my dreams from reality just because they're so boring. Like, I dream I bought milk and then don't understand why I don't have any for my cereal in the morning.

Posted by: Heather at July 13, 2005 12:31 PM

as long as it is said with love, "Bitches" is a completely acceptable term =) that's how I get away with calling the partners I work with "My Boys"

Posted by: Kathryn at July 13, 2005 12:45 PM

You know, I'm pretty sure you can still be effective and get to call them "bitches"...the little bonuses of life. ;)

Posted by: Kate at July 13, 2005 02:32 PM

Lack of sleep produces insane dreams. At least you weren't doin' it with Tom in the jungle. That would have been real crazy!! Have fun training to be good to your bitches!

Posted by: Amy at July 13, 2005 03:42 PM

Yeah, I'm thinking that in terms of weirdness, your dream might actually beat out the dream I had where Joanie Cunningham from Happy Days started dancing around with a pie and singing about her date. Oh, yeah, and it *actually rhymed.*

Did your flying racoons sing you a lullaby at all? ;)

Posted by: Spring at July 13, 2005 04:42 PM

When I was in high school, I had an 8-4 job in the summers. My friends, however, did not, and would call at 2 or 3 in the morning.

I became notorious for calling people and saying, "Did we talk for half an hour last night around three am? Because I think we did. But it's really questionable. And in the event that we did -- what the hell did I say??"

Sometimes the answer was yes. Sometimes the answer was no. Sometimes they did call, and then I dreamed up a conversation. All very odd...

I'm proof. You're not alone.

Posted by: Emily at July 13, 2005 05:01 PM

whatevs, call em your skanks and hoes instead, lol.

Posted by: lizabetty at July 14, 2005 01:12 PM

Tom Selleck is a Scientologist? uh...sorry, I couldn't resist.

Posted by: jessica at July 14, 2005 08:43 PM

i made one of my "bitches" cry at work yesterday

geez, i didn't think i was that tough....

Posted by: beautiful face at July 15, 2005 01:26 AM