October 17, 2005

Topics for Discussion

I was sitting here starting to type out an entry (tentatively titled "The Day of Many Shits" although that wasn't really going to work out because it could be easily misunderstood and assumed I was discussing myself as opposed to darling Mia) and I realized I couldn't go on. Why? Because, for the life of me, I can't figure out a way to spell out a juicy fart sound. So, the topic for vigorous debate is this - how does one spell the sound made by a juicy fart?

Oh, and I had another idea last night that I'd like to run up the flagpole. As you might have heard, the 9,305th tropical storm of the year - Wilma - is looming out there, which instantly made Beth and I shout Wilma! in our best Fred Flintstone voices when we saw the news. I think we should reconsider the whole hurricane naming thing. I do. I think we should go with themes. The Chinese have The Year of the Rat or Tiger or whatever. We could have, using Wilma as an example, The Year of Hanna-Barbara. Fred, Barney, Wilma, Betty, George, Judy, Mr. Spacely...you get the picture. Maybe more people would follow mandatory evacuations during The Year of the Serial Killer. Board those windows up faster, Stan. John Wayne Gacey's barrelling up the coast! And Ted Bundy's on it's heels!

There you go - two topics to keep you busy this morning. I look forward to your thoughts on these important matters.

Posted by Chris at October 17, 2005 07:54 AM

Dude...what do you put in your coffee on Monday mornings? (I want some!)

And I think it's spelled pffffffffffttt

Posted by: kellie at October 17, 2005 08:10 AM

You should've just audioblogged the juicey farts...

Posted by: Marie at October 17, 2005 08:19 AM

Totally easy answer...."PTHBTH"...that's the sound when you stick your tongue out and make a farting noise...you'll see what I mean!! TRY IT! I'm sick of these hurricanes. I think I am going to boycott hurricanes. Unless they had a Star Wars themed hurricane season. That would kick ass-as long as they didn't come up the East Coast! Watch out! It's Hurricane Chewbacca! ARROOWOO!! *my best Chewbacca growl*

Posted by: Michelle at October 17, 2005 08:23 AM

I am so not going to comment on the whole fart topic..What is it with guys and farts I will never know.

I do though love the whole idea of themed hurricane names, they could even have a 50's themed years, like one year be Leave it to Beaver, then another be I love Lucy, I could go on, but..

Posted by: Angelia at October 17, 2005 08:32 AM

Either you had a lot of sleep, or none. Either way, Happy Monday!

Posted by: That Girl at October 17, 2005 08:57 AM

Waiter, I'll have what he's having!

Wet juicy farts...hmmm...for the life of me I cannot recall a time when I have tried to explain the sound in words. I don't think it's possible.

Posted by: Theresa at October 17, 2005 10:52 AM

I have struggled with the same dilemma in my efforts to accurately detail my marriage on my own blog, and I just can't come up with one. I will ask my husband, the resident expert, and get back with you if anything good comes up.

I think with the hurricanes they should just number them- that way you wouldn't have a little girl from New Orleans wanting to change her name from Katrina to Britney (saw that on CNN). Britney, of all things. Maybe they should just name them after bad pop singers...

Posted by: Bonanza Jellybean at October 17, 2005 10:58 AM

Well, I snorted when I read this.....got any good suggestions to describe that sound? ;-)

Posted by: lucy at October 17, 2005 10:58 AM

DUDE. too funny. I especially like the serial killers naming system.

Posted by: suze at October 17, 2005 11:08 AM

I like your idea for hurricane naming, except for one thing. How can anyone take seriously a warning to evacuate to avoid Astro's fury? Will Hurricane Scooby strike the necessary fear in the hearts of coastal dwellers? I like the serial killer thing though.

As for the spelling, I like to use pbtbtbtbtzzzbtbt. I use it in work emails all the time.

Posted by: donna at October 17, 2005 11:13 AM

Yes! The animated characters idea is brilliant. I would LOVE to see a report about Hurricane Snoopy, or, better yet... Hurricane Boo Boo! ;)

Congrats on the haiku milestone.

Posted by: Pammer at October 17, 2005 11:29 AM


It's in the dictionary.

Posted by: zeno at October 17, 2005 11:34 AM

...well, it's in the dictionary - but that's with scottish accent.

Posted by: Amber at October 17, 2005 12:16 PM

My problem with the storm naming bit is when they name one with my name or one of my friends' names. And then every time I hear it mentioned I'm like "what? are they talking about me?". I'm just super paranoid like that.

Serial killer storm naming made me laugh/seems almost like a good idea.

Posted by: Betty at October 17, 2005 12:29 PM

I'm so with you on the serial killer naming. They kinda deserve to have their names maligned, after all.

Posted by: Heather at October 17, 2005 12:47 PM

About the fart, I'd say trrrrrrrrrr (the "r" pronunced in spanish).

Posted by: ava at October 17, 2005 01:02 PM

Ohhhh I love a good fart story! Gimme the details. LOL.

Posted by: Colleen at October 17, 2005 01:03 PM

I absolutely agree with you on the hurricane naming thing. However, I don't think cartoon characters will be taken very seriously. The serial killers thing works nicely, but maybe after that we could have The Year of the Most Tyrannical HIstorical Figures?

Posted by: Queen of Ass at October 17, 2005 01:16 PM

Hmm... I'm not really sure how to spell the correct pronunciation of a juicy fart. All I know is that when one is released in my presence, I give the offender a disgusted look and ask, "Need a bowl?" before busting up laughing. Because I'm so mature like that. Maybe you could google it though?

The Hurricane thing is really not such a bad idea. Maybe you could contact the NHS (?) and sell the idea to them. The official Hurricane Season isn't even over until November 30th - we've still got over a month left. And I think the Theme Naming is a helluva lot better than doing the Greek Alphabet, ya know? Who is going to take a storm seriously that's named "Alpha" - way too close to the Little Rascals for comfort.

Okay, well, that's my 14.5554448887 cents on this; have a great day!

Posted by: Amber at October 17, 2005 01:28 PM

I have to recommend another blog, in case you haven't come across it yet. You can appreciate her October 13th entry. Her baby is about a month younger than yours.



Posted by: telegirl at October 17, 2005 01:30 PM

you know, i bet hurricane naming conventions are just as complicated as software code name issues. all sorts of legal snafu's. they probably use names because they are able to do so without legal implications.

although, they could get their storms to be corporately sponsored. Like the Bank of America Tropical Storm 2005. Or the Wal-Martornada.

Posted by: jodi at October 17, 2005 02:08 PM

I would've thought that having a child would mean less time for thinking up things like this. I guess not! ;)

Posted by: laura at October 17, 2005 02:27 PM

I sent in a request to have one hurricane season named after my nieces and nephews since they all wipe me out of everything I ever have whenever they swoop in.

I have no comment on the other topic.

Posted by: Grace at October 17, 2005 03:38 PM

I think they should start naming tropical storms after movie's that tanked. like:
Tropical Storm Gigli


Hurricane Bewitched

Now devasting everyone that bought $12 tickets AND half of southeastern Texas: Typhoon Pearl Harbor!

OR!!!!! We could SELL the right to name tropical storms like we do stadiums and/or bowl games.

Hurricane Intel... Our pentium processors travel with the speed and power of gail force winds!

Or Tropical Cyclone Secret! Strong enough for a man, but with just the right mix of atmoshperic components to keep you dry under your arms.

Posted by: melati at October 17, 2005 03:51 PM

As soon as I read "fart" I felt all competitive and shit because MY DAUGHTER IS THE FART QUEEN. But, then, I got a grip because, man, you were just asking how to spell a juicy fart. See how I am?

BTW, I think it's "Thrrrfttttpffffrroooft"

Posted by: Y at October 17, 2005 04:08 PM

you crack me up, and sorry other than fffffffff, i dont know how to make that sound, lol.

Posted by: lizabetty at October 17, 2005 06:00 PM

I am so with you on the hurricane naming thing. the people who have bad hurricanes named after them must feel bad about themselves.

Posted by: Greg at October 17, 2005 08:58 PM


How about the Year of the Hair Bands? I can just see it. Hurricane Def Leppard, Tropical Storm Poison, Tropical Depression Whitesnake...

Posted by: Stephanie at October 17, 2005 09:11 PM

Aw, for crying out loud here, do you (all) have no couth? What is couth anyway? Obviously no one here would know. I'm so kidding, just figured since I'm probably the oldest person on the page, it would be up to me to restore some order. Anyone who knows me, though would know, I'm not "cut" out for the job.
As for the hurricanes, I think infamous historical characters Wait! NO! Obnoxious Celebrities. I won't name any so as not to offend, but picture someone who makes you cringe and imagine them slandered by a hurricane. Serve 'em right. Idiots. (Politicians are "celebs" too).

Posted by: JuJu's Mom at October 17, 2005 09:43 PM

Now that I've waded through all of the comedians who tried to spell out a wet fart - ha.ha. - I'll dial in with my take on the tropical storm bit.

I think the names should revolve around professional sports teams. We have been hoping mother nature would spare premium coast line when we should be thinking in terms of cheering on the storm like the Lotto: The bigger the better.

Therefore I propose that all future hurricanes combine both the appeal of sports and the luck of the Irish. Anyone can wager. Pick the Destructive Defict Dollar amount (D-cubed) and be entered into a National Drawing. The person picking the total funding dollars (both State and Federal) needed to rebuild the region and the exact point the storm will strike, wins!

A predetermined amount goes to the winner with the remaining proceeds going to the devasted region.

We do this with State Lotto revenues going to state schools, why not implement this with an impeding tropical depression?

Go Florida Hurricanes!
Go Seattle Storm (WNBA)!

Blog on!

Posted by: Sam at October 17, 2005 10:44 PM

I was kinda thinking that 2006 could be "Hamlet" year, they could go through all the major and minor characters in Hamlet...then 2007 would be "MacBeth"...when you ran out of Shakespeare's plays you could go on to Ibsen, Miller, Mamet, um... August Wilson...?

Posted by: michelle at October 17, 2005 11:07 PM