October 19, 2005

You Are The Mirror

My friend Ava asked a couple of really interesting questions in response to yesterday morning's post. Do you ever wonder what they say about you? how they see you? she asked.

The answer is a resounding of course! Doesn't everyone wonder how others see them? Now, I don't want to turn this into a narcissistic love fest (although that would be fun, for me at least), but I am really curious. In 25 words or less, how do you see me? What do you think of when you hear rude cactus? Positive and negative comments are welcome although I certainly hope there are more good comments than bad. I'm just really curious what kind of picture I've painted for you and how close to reality (or how I see myself) it is.

One Last Thing: I haven't done several things this week. These include being amusing, responding to your email with any depth and visiting your fine blogs. But I've been swamped at work. Like, I actually noticed yesterday I was so busy I postponed peeing. Worse, I almost made a calendar entry for it. TMI, but you get the drift. So, sorry for that.

Posted by Chris at October 19, 2005 07:29 AM

Scheduled bathroom breaks - yikes! That's busy! How do I see you? Well the first time I saw your blog, your blog title made me think that you were one of those macho type guys and that your blog would be full of degrading things about women - so not true! I see you as a gentle loving father, wonderful caring husband, and a damn hard worker at work - but not overly hardworking 'cause how else would you have so much time to dedicate to your blog?

Posted by: Marie at October 19, 2005 07:36 AM

articulate, caring, funny, and completely blog-worthy :) sorry i'm not more articulate, myself, this morning.

Posted by: misifoota at October 19, 2005 08:29 AM

Very like-able. Not afraid to laugh at yourself in a lucile ball kind of way. I mean, really, what can you say about someone that doesn't even know how to spell that wet fart sound? Also, very dedicated to your family and job. Aside from the all cat, no dog thing, you're ok.

Posted by: wlfldy at October 19, 2005 08:36 AM

Total loser, jackass, worst father ever (not to mention husband), with HORRIBLE taste in music.

What? Oh, reverse all that ;)

Posted by: RockStar Mommy at October 19, 2005 08:52 AM

Guaranteed to make me laugh or think, every day. Vast musical knowledge. Eats gummy bears during audio blogs. Excellent father and husband. Lots of fun.

Posted by: Emily at October 19, 2005 09:05 AM

I think you're a well-informed liberal, a great husband and father, with excellent (if eclectic) taste in music and a talent for photography. But hee, you forgot to pee. Yeah, that's the important thing here.

Posted by: Fraulein N at October 19, 2005 09:08 AM

Caring, intelligent, in possession of a wickedly sharp sense of humor, liberal (but not in a Michael Moore kind of way), a bit of a yuppie (pardon the use of an outdated word), creative, talented, impatient with stupidity, dedicated, fidgety (due to the fact that you postponed peeing), yada yada yada... Is your head (or bladder) too large to get through the doorway yet??? ;)

Posted by: mooalex at October 19, 2005 09:11 AM

One has to be smart and well-informed to be funny, and you are all three! If you ever do quit your job to pursue rockstardom, I would totally buy front-row tickets (unless you're gonna be all Paul McCartney and charge $1000 for them, in which case I'll be the one in the cheap seats with the binoculars).

Posted by: Julie at October 19, 2005 09:22 AM

I forget how I came across your blog in the first place, but I do remember how it brightened my day! I always look forward to getting my daily blog, regardless if you think it's just a bunch of rambling or nothing intellectual..it's very enjoying. I can definately see that you are a good-hearted, down to earth guy who loves his wife and baby girl, who has a great sense of humor regardless of his corporate-work-for-the-man kinda job with meetings out the waazoo, but yet very indepth and up to date on current events and music. You always have a great insight to whatever it is you post. Even if it is about forgeting to go pee. Thanks for all the great blogs! Keep 'em coming! (and sorry-I know that was more that 25 words.)

Posted by: Michelle at October 19, 2005 09:35 AM

I see you just about the same way as those who have previously commented. Funny, witty, a great hubby and a great dad. Real, honest, you don't take yourself TOO seriously...

You make me think a lot. Which is what keeps me reading. Your photography is wondermous, and the whole cat-thing is a plus for me too. :O)

Plus your wife is sweet as pie and your daughter is an angel, so those are bonus points for you as well.


I do remember how I found you though. It was a link on someone elses blog and I clicked it because I like cacti...cactuses...whatever.

Which brings me to this, a question for you. How DID you come to that name? What is its significance, if any? (ok, TWO questions...)If you have already discussed this, I was absent that day....

Posted by: jen at October 19, 2005 09:35 AM

funny, intelligent, with just the right amount of sarcasm, observant, a wonderful father and husband. and a kick ass photographer. there's a reason you and beth are daily reads of mine - you're the type of people that if i knew you in real life i'd want to be good friends with.

Posted by: suze at October 19, 2005 09:46 AM

Yep, what they said. I too would like to know how you thought up the blog name.

Posted by: Theresa at October 19, 2005 09:54 AM

I came across your blog through reading amalah archives and figured since she was entertaining then you must be too. I read and loved your stuff. What makes it even better is that you're one of those bloggers who enjoys responding to comments and reading your commenters blogs. You seem like a cool and fun person. Not to mention you have a great wife (read her blog too) and Ms. Mia is gorgeous and I want like 349 of her. You also come off as nice and approachable and if I ever saw you in georgetown you'd be like "Hey what's up" not "get away from me you crazy stalker freak".
That was waaaay more than 25 words, but you get the point.

Posted by: Heather B. at October 19, 2005 09:57 AM

A dad crushed by love for the bean
A husband whos a hero to his wife
A sponge for words and notes
Deliciously wicked
A unique balance between left-brain and right
Bruised, battered and healed from life.
A fantastic new blog friend and total internet crush! Ha ha!

Posted by: Pammer at October 19, 2005 10:09 AM

i really just started reading your blog, so don't take my words for it, but:
1) you write well and seem intelligent,
2) you seem madly in love with both your wife and daughter,
3) you seem to work an awful lot (do you like working a lot?),
4) you use a neat font on your blog,
5) you take great pictures ('specially that mirror copy pic on flickr),
6) you seem very very intuitive/perceptive,
7) you (and beth) respond to my comments (and probably other peoples' too), and i admire that,
8) you like haikus.

that is all. for now.

Posted by: RazDreams at October 19, 2005 10:23 AM

OK, when you have to schedule the peeing? You need a break. And soon. I'll cross my fingers that you get one.

What do I think of the Rude Cactus? Prickly on the outside, but with a sweet creamy center once you get to know it. Most definitely not one of those cacti that gets filled with spider eggs and bursts open in a big spidery shower. (Ew.)

Posted by: Dawnie at October 19, 2005 10:26 AM

I think you arrive to work early to beat the traffic, because you like to keep moving. The quiet office is comforting and helps you prepare for the day, which is not all that comforting. You are a perfectionist, everything has a place and its in its place. You have several habits and its hard to break them. You take comfort in following your routine. You can get mad at the people you love, usually over small stuff. You work hard and are sucessful because of that effort. I dont believe you are the uber-liberal you claim to be. You like the way you look.

Posted by: linda at October 19, 2005 10:27 AM

Absolutely head over heels for the women in your life, very intelligent and witty, absolutely fun, and a bit introspective and introverted.

Posted by: Queen of Ass at October 19, 2005 10:29 AM

Amusing. Articulate. Kind. In love. Continually amazed by his daughter. Incredible photographer. Reminds me of my hubby - the highest compliment I can give. :-)

Posted by: erika at October 19, 2005 10:44 AM

As someone I'd want to have a beer with. Or alternately as one of the 10 straight men in DC I'd want to have a beer with.

Posted by: verucaamish at October 19, 2005 10:47 AM

I think your a republican. Probably want to work for Bush. And you think we should just invade the entire middle east and get it over with.

What? Thats wrong?

Posted by: Jeff A at October 19, 2005 10:57 AM

For some odd reason, reading your blog makes me feel like I have friends in NO-VA. :) And of course, the fact that you love the crab-cakes at Blue Point... that you even know what Blue Point is, and that you and your wife are lots like me and my husband... so much so, it's kinda scary sometimes :) BTW, I'm curious about the name too

Posted by: Corinne at October 19, 2005 11:01 AM

Smart, funny, great photographer, doting daddy, amazing husband, well read, great writer, all around great guy! =) I try to make sure I get here at least once a day to see what you have to say! You're one of my top 5 favorite bloggers!

Posted by: Jenny at October 19, 2005 11:38 AM

Well-likable, very proud father and husband, easy going and very passionate about things that are important to you.

Posted by: sarah at October 19, 2005 11:58 AM

Everyone has said everything that I wanted to say and I'm super sad about it.

I will add this:

My favorite thing about you is how much you love your wife.

My favorite men in this world all have one thing in common... they way they look at their beautiful wives.

.. and the way they treat them. When I happen to see a truely intimate moment, like when he absent-mindedly rubs a finger along a soft spot on her hand, the way his eyes shine when she is telling a group of friends a funny story, the way he lets her have the limelight for a few minutes and bask in her radiance.

I completely turn to mush when I see true love. Not that overt, making-out-on-the-street, sex-centric couple...they make me feel blah. Real love. When it's obvious that two people get each other, have respect for each other, trust each other.

I get that feeling from you. That you and Beth have a love to be admired, a love that will last, and that you would do everything in your power to protect that.

That's how I see you.

Posted by: melati at October 19, 2005 11:59 AM

I think it's the way you write about Beth and Mia that draws a lot of female readers. I also get a kick out of it when you get on your political or media soapboxes. And your self-portraits rock.

Posted by: trb at October 19, 2005 12:24 PM

I got here too late to say all the fabulous things everyone else said, but I will add my thoughts. I think of you as a wonderful husband, father, and employee. You are extremely intelligent and well-read. I also consider you a friend, even though we have never *met*.

Posted by: Krush at October 19, 2005 12:26 PM

25 words or less? I can't barely ask for more coffee in less than 25 words! Sorry, late night and early morning....

Two words would sum it up, cactus rocks.

You are an inspiration to the blogsphere (whether you asked for it or not!). You are inquisitive, intelligent and a great communicator. A sensitive father/husband who never misses the opportunity to find the humor in life. And you do it all without being an asshat and that too, rocks. ;)

Posted by: Bayou at October 19, 2005 12:41 PM

Smart, cute, amazing photographer, HILARIOUS, hip, loves his family, music, music, music.

Shall I go on? I think you'd get a toothache if I continued so I shall end it here.

Fun entry!

Posted by: VirgoJen at October 19, 2005 12:54 PM

The big things for me are the music knowledge, the humour, the reminiscing about being a new dad (my son is now 17) and the great sense of community. I see so many people here at other places online and so many have come to my blog and everyone is so nice. And like someone else said, I like the way you get back to me. Sometimes a sentence or two means more than an entire novel. So thanks and enjoy yourself and your wonderful family.

Posted by: Mike at October 19, 2005 12:58 PM

Rude Cactus is really a double negative, meaning you are intelligent, funny, a great husband and father, and a mean blog writer. Now go read mine!! hahahah ;)

Posted by: Dana at October 19, 2005 02:18 PM

without reading anyone else's...

smart, avid reader, music lover, great husband, doting dad, excellent photographer, a man with an interesting past, down to earth, honest, great storyteller, hard worker, and just all around nice guy :)

Posted by: laura at October 19, 2005 02:29 PM

Wow, can I really improve on what has been said so far?

quirky, honest, committed, educated, travelled, dedicated, curious and absolutely 'blog-worthy' (as someone else said, and I had to repeat, because it's a good expression).

I must admit to some admiration with respect to your readership. Rain, sun, babies and holidays, your readership is loyal and quite respectful of you. That's a pretty cool thing.

Have a good evening!

Posted by: wn at October 19, 2005 03:28 PM

How I see Rude Cactus (

Chris is intelligent, introspective and dedicated. He cares about people and the world, believing involvement with both is key to a better life and world.

P.S. Cutting to 25 words is hard!

Posted by: Polichick at October 19, 2005 03:40 PM

Hello Chris!
Now I have a blog: "Leaves of Grass" and I would like if you make me a visit!
Regards, from Sonia, So Paulo, Brazil

Posted by: Sonia at October 19, 2005 04:59 PM

I usually see you just as you're leaving home for work or even on the weekends, and I'm gratified to know that you haven't noticed me tailing you for all these years. Truly. It means my stalking skills are vastly improved from the old days.

Ahem. I see you as a young, snarky professional with a twisted sense of propriety and humor, and who has accepted the responsibility of entertaining me day after day. It's the incessant nose-picking and subsequent booger flicking that I could do without.

Posted by: bhd at October 19, 2005 05:01 PM

You remind me of The Man and I without all our Big Drama. Devoted to whatever it is you're doing and the people you're with and incredibly passionate about the those and things you love. I'd hope if The Man ever gets a blog, that it's a lot like this one.


Posted by: Nat at October 19, 2005 05:38 PM

i think you are a nice guy...really silly/funny...nice daddy...responsible, and all that other stuff they are all sayin!!!

Posted by: lizabetty at October 19, 2005 05:39 PM

One of my favorite people I've never met.

Posted by: alektra at October 19, 2005 05:47 PM

Very interesting. Let me know if I'm right... Creative, passionate, intelligent, inspired, introspective, social, extrovert, easygoing and funny... I tried to think of something negative, I swear, but I don't know you that much ;)

Posted by: ava at October 19, 2005 06:35 PM

well, you made the list of men I love, so what does that tell you??

oh, and if it makes you feel better, I remembered to pee at aorund 2:30 this afternoon --- busy, busy, busy

Posted by: Kathryn at October 19, 2005 06:41 PM

To me, you are the big-brother type and also a good fit of what I think makes a good man.

Posted by: Rhonda at October 19, 2005 06:45 PM

Unique, original, compassionate, smart, good daddy, caring, thoughtfully, extremely tenanted, articulate, busy, happy, charming, musician, artistic.

Posted by: Krista at October 19, 2005 07:37 PM

Oh gee. I meant to respond to this earlier today.

I think you are the biggest nerd! Ever!

And I mean that in the best way!! You are, of course, articulate, witty, funny, blah blah blah, have an encyclopaedic knowledge of music, and you totally adore your fans as much as we adore you, so this all works out pretty well! In a word? You rock! OK, I know that's two words. Sue me.

Let's just say if People Magazine (TM) had a 50 Most Beautiful Bloggers issue (which they totally should), you and Beth would definitely be the top two.

Posted by: Ms. Q at October 19, 2005 07:41 PM

My impression of you is that you are smart, funny, cool/hip and friendly/kind. I get a similar impression of Beth. You guys seem like you'd be lots of fun to hang out with.

Posted by: Kris at October 19, 2005 08:17 PM

Extremely conscientious-- you like to do a good job at whatever it is you're doing. Loyal, detail oriented, people lover (even though you're a bit cynical about them). Those are the things I infer from your writing.

The obvious ones are: liberal, smoker, great husband and dad, voracious reader and listener of music, close to your family.

You'll have to tell us if we were close. This could become a meme you know.

Posted by: Sheryl at October 19, 2005 08:28 PM

delurking to say I agree with what everyone else has said... great husband, even greater father, funny, great photographer. I have to add you come across as the perfect employee to. as if that were not enough you are also a cutie. Is there anything wrong with you at all? ;)

Posted by: Amber at October 19, 2005 08:32 PM

I say: I can describe that Dude in Five words.
(You say: Describe that Dude.)
I say: Way cool, great son-in-law material.

Posted by: JuJu's Mom at October 19, 2005 09:04 PM

I'm late to the game, but here goes:

Smart, devoted, devilishly handsome, creative, clever, v. funny and a truly remarkable husband and father. You strike me as someone with real talent, who's good at just about everything you try, but who might not see himself that way.

Posted by: Laura GF at October 19, 2005 09:06 PM

You're someone who makes me laugh, makes me think, and takes beautiful pictures.

Posted by: Kelley at October 19, 2005 11:18 PM

Not only do I think you're a great writer, but I like the person that you (at least) portray yourself to be. I judge the bloggers I like based on if I would want to hang out with them in non-virtual life. And for me, you are on that list for sure.

In fact, I send your post that you wrote when you came home from the hospital and had a little breakdown to new fathers-to-be because I think it's so poignant and not often said by men to men that you may not feel too secure in the whole new baby having thing. I wish someone would have said that to my husband.

Keep it up and I'll keep reading for sure! :-)

Posted by: Amy at October 19, 2005 11:38 PM

Cool, intelligent, caring, secure, funny and a true Renaissance Man of the new Millenium.

Posted by: MetroDad at October 19, 2005 11:38 PM

rock star
committed dad
IT guy
dedicated worker
early staffer
cool vacations
music source
creative writer
totally hip & cool husband (comparative to Kevin Kline in Big Chill)
Washington DC comuter

shit, did I go on too long? Please assure Mrs. Cactus I meant it all in innocent admiration.

Posted by: kalisah at October 19, 2005 11:56 PM

Quick Wit
High Values
Family Values
Down to earth

Posted by: Starfruit at October 20, 2005 12:33 AM

The song "In the cage" by Genesis sums it all up. Atleast thats what I have running through my head when I think of your Blog site.

Rude Cactus: noun
PRONOUNCIATION: 'rd 'kak-t&s
MEANING: apt, ingenious, resourceful; acute, astute, discerning, insightful, knowing, perceptive, perspicacious, sagacious, sapient, savvy, wise; cerebral, erudite, highbrow, knowledgeable, learned, literate, scholarly, well-read; educated, informed, schooled, skilled, trained; creative, inventive, judicious, prudent, sage, sane, sapient, sensible, sound, wise; crafty, cunning, foxy, shrewd, wily; logical, rational, reasonable
Did I leave out "one hell of a blogger"! :o)

Posted by: Jennifer at October 20, 2005 12:37 AM

I've been reading for a few weeks now and I must say, I don't know if 25 words or less will cover why I always click on your updates when they appear in my inbox. But I'll give it a shot.

You're crazy in love with your wife and your daughter - you seem like one of those men that, no matter how much your wife may change over the years, you'll always see her as THE most sexiest amazing woman on the planet. You're funny as hell. You work hard to support your family and to you take a lot of pride in a job being well-done; so no matter how much it takes, you bust your ass. But somehow, you manage to balance your family and work out. You're intelligent and honest and your writing reflects that. Very realistic and to the point - you make me think; which is definitely a good thing. Plus, you actually CARE about your readers. Responding to their comments, checking our journals (as boring, yet drama filled as mine is, that says a lot! HaHa). You're just an all around great guy and it's a pleasure to be included (in a way) in your life and the lives of your family.

Okay, so maybe that's a little more than 25 words but oh well I guess. Hope that answered your question! :)

Posted by: Amber at October 20, 2005 01:19 AM

Well I would say that you're a very well spoken man. Intelligent. Good Dad and Husband. The pictures you post are always interesting and your posts are either funny, entertaining or thought-provoking.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at October 20, 2005 04:30 AM

I see you as someone who likes to keep people on their toes. I never know what you're going to do/say next. :)

Posted by: Zandria at October 20, 2005 10:14 PM

I am a little late in reading this, and everyone said what could be said and your head is already big (apprently from the last post) so I will leave it at that. I found out about you from Beth's blog, who linked fromAngies blog (fluid pudding).

Posted by: Krista at October 21, 2005 10:03 AM