November 29, 2005

Coming To A Theater Near You

Remember yesterday when I was moderately funny? Yes? Okay. Good. That's going to have to hold you for the day. Funny has left the stage and been replaced by Big Ball of Stress starring in the musical hit Oh Crap, How Can I Get All This Done. Featuring the acclaimed songs Fuck It All (Let's Run Away To Tahiti), Who Do I Have To Blow To Get More Hours In The Day, and Unrealistic Expectations, The New York Times called it a riotously wicked send-up of office politics and the efforts of one man to bend the space-time continuum. Newsweek hailed its star, Rude Cactus, as thoroughly convincing - I honestly thought he was ripping his hair out in large clumps while going slowly mad sniffing dry-erase markers. That's stage presence! and Bill O'Reilly added that pinko commie liberal was okay. What say you?

Posted by Chris at November 29, 2005 07:03 AM

I say I must be your understudy because it all sounds eerily familiar. Are you sure it's a musical though? Because, man, nobody wants to hear me sing. Oh. Yeah. I guess it's a good thing you're the star then. Whew. Such a relief. Just don't get sick!

Posted by: pea at November 29, 2005 07:42 AM

Hmm...this movie must be a sequel, b/c I think I've seen it quite often lately! There is definately NOT enough hours in the day to get the crap the bosses want done! EXAMPLE: "You need to close out all these insurance codes by December 1st!!" ME: "There is a 3" print out of just the Private pay clients! I honestly can't get this done alone." BOSS: "Oh, well, do what you can." WHAT THE F$@&!!!! It's a lose-lose battle. Enjoy the movie people! ;P

Posted by: Michelle at November 29, 2005 08:13 AM

Oh Crap, How Can I Get All This Done.

I hear you. I am leaving for France in less than 2 weeks, and I haven't bought the first Christmas gift.

I have a ton of other stuff to do as well.

Panic is setting it.

Posted by: Allan at November 29, 2005 08:19 AM

yeah...but can you sign it?

Posted by: Pamalamadingdong at November 29, 2005 08:35 AM

fuck it all (lets run away to tahiti) is my theme song as of late...

the lyrics: "who needs a thesis, who needs a degree, when all i want to do is drink apple martinis..."

Posted by: suze at November 29, 2005 08:50 AM

I say, I'm glad I no longer work in cubicle-land... ;)

Posted by: Marilyn at November 29, 2005 08:59 AM

Who do I have to blow to get tickets? I'll bring more markers for the party afterwards.

Posted by: Theresa at November 29, 2005 09:08 AM

Dude. "Fuck It All (Let's Run Away to Tahiti)" is my theme song!

Posted by: Fraulein N at November 29, 2005 09:09 AM

i saw that show, it was excellent-- alarmingly realistic though. the fact that it ran for over 8 hours was quite depressing

Posted by: steph at November 29, 2005 09:14 AM

Hahaha! I Am always so glad to make this my frist stop in the morning! =)

As for the musical, I have been staring in the offbroadway production for years. Since it's off-broadway, we got to add another song to our production. My big solo in fact - it's called "Would someone please answer that fucking phone (I already have one on hold you lazy bastards!)


Posted by: Jenny at November 29, 2005 09:33 AM

Sounds a lot like the show that my husband is in right now! He, likewise, is ripping clumps of hair out trying to meet deadlines and working late nights... You guys should co-star!!

Posted by: Corinne at November 29, 2005 09:35 AM

That's a musical? I was sure it was a drama. I must be your nemesis. I plan on running away soon and not coming back for a month. YAYYY!

Posted by: Queen of Ass at November 29, 2005 09:58 AM

I've got to get tickets to this musical, it's something I can't afford to miss!

Posted by: E at November 29, 2005 10:07 AM

but look, still funny. mostly because it's so true that Bill O'Reilly would call you a pinko commie liberal.

good luck!

Posted by: Heather B. at November 29, 2005 10:31 AM

Fuck it all is one of my favorite songs! Watch those dry erase markers...they'll get'cha.

I give you two thumbs up. Good luck. :)

Posted by: VirgoJen at November 29, 2005 10:38 AM

mmmm.... big smelly marking pens.... mmmmm

Posted by: jodi at November 29, 2005 11:15 AM

The Cake song with the lyrics "Shut the Fuck Up" was my theme song at Enron - yes, you read that right, Enron. The resume is scarred for life.

Posted by: Heather at November 29, 2005 11:46 AM

i guess i'll let it slide for ONE day. jeez.

Posted by: tiffanie at November 29, 2005 12:10 PM

Add me to the group of "haven't bought a single gift yet and would really rather not." I don't even have a job, and I'm stressed.

Posted by: Anita at November 29, 2005 12:30 PM

Two thumbs way up!!!! I thought things usually slowed down in the office around the holidays...not this year. I don't have a single decoration up yet.

Posted by: Krush at November 29, 2005 12:36 PM

Dry markers, oh yes. I have found myself, when doing the business standup thing in front of 40 or 50 people, unconsciously snapping the lid off markers and sniffing them whilst smiling weirdly.

Posted by: zeno at November 29, 2005 12:46 PM

"Damn, I hate it when you're not funny," said Ms. Q as she wipes the tears from her eyes and once again cleans the coffee off of her monitor.

Posted by: Ms. Q at November 29, 2005 12:48 PM

I need the lyrics to those songs, especially "Fuck it All (Let's Run Away to Tahiti)" - I think that may be my new anthem!

Posted by: Kestrel at November 29, 2005 01:46 PM

Well, I thought that was funny. So I guess you'll be okay, as you seem able to keep your sense of the ridiculous intact.

Posted by: Heather at November 29, 2005 02:05 PM

Rude Cactus receives a Tony nod for best actor in a musical-comedy, especially for his solo tap number to "Spilling the coffee mug on the tower o' crap".

Cheers, mate!

Posted by: Dolly at November 29, 2005 03:10 PM

When you figure out who you have to blow to get more hours in the day, let me know and send him over. Geez! Hope you have some good chapstick.

Posted by: Gweny at November 29, 2005 04:17 PM

Sounds like the funny didn't quite stop with yesterday, stress or no stress. :)

Good luck!

Posted by: Spring at November 29, 2005 04:26 PM

Still funny. ANd I think my hubby could relate....

Posted by: Lisa B at November 29, 2005 05:28 PM

You forgot my personal holiday favorite "We wish you a Merry Fuckmas and a Lousy New Year" which plays over the company feed as they keep you till 5pm on Friday, December 23.

Posted by: Laura at November 29, 2005 06:15 PM

Tell me about it, I've been staying late for weeks, and it's going to be like this at least till christmas.. at least you can work from home :)

Posted by: ava at November 29, 2005 07:04 PM

For your sake, I'm hoping there's no encore.

Posted by: Vicki at November 29, 2005 07:50 PM

Nah...this was pretty funny, too. I could definitely be a co-star in this musical you speak of!

Posted by: Stephanie at November 29, 2005 08:12 PM

i love smelling dry erase markers!

Posted by: lizabetty at November 29, 2005 09:16 PM

ROFLMAO!! I loved the first song! One of my favorites that seems to be on looped on my stereo sometimes.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at November 29, 2005 09:41 PM

And don't forget the incredible classic tune, "You Want Me To Do What (And By WHEN)?"

I feel ya, Chris. Sincerely and truly! Hang in there.

Posted by: Lachlan at November 29, 2005 11:36 PM

I heard that Salon called Rude Cactus "The voice of a generation."

Posted by: Lisa V at November 29, 2005 11:42 PM