December 09, 2005

Tube Talk

A couple nights back, I was watching televison and Beth was trying to catch up on her blogging. When she came back downstairs...

Me: The proposal on Queer Eye was really sweet. You should watch it. I TiVoed it.
Her: You're such a girl.
Me:'re...yeah, kinda.

Last night as Beth was developing our Christmas card list, I was staring blankly at the television watching whatever it was we watched after Survivor. I was tired. It had been a long week and I was a tad grumpy. Which explains my reaction to a certain commercial I saw.

Me: I'd like to bake that fucker.
Her: What?
Me: I'd like to bake that fucker! Bake him good!
Her: What the hell are you talking about?
Me: The Pillsbury Doughboy. We need to see how flaky and golden that fucker gets. Instead of rolls for Christmas dinner, we should all break off a hunk of Doughboy.
Her: Okay...
Me: But then, I'd miss the belly-poking and that little laugh. So, I guess we shouldn't bake the fucker.

It should be noted that I put both Dubya (a.k.a. The Asshat-In-Chief, Prez, G-Dubz) and Jeff "Survivor" Probst on our Christmas card list. What? You don't think I'll mail them? Watch me.

Posted by Chris at December 9, 2005 03:05 PM

you probably provide beth with ooodles of blog material.

Posted by: jodi at December 9, 2005 03:11 PM

This morning on the radio they were quoting Mark Burnett saying that Jeff Probst would NOT be leaving Survivor. I hadn't heard that he might be leaving, and I promptly panicked. Survivor without Jeff!? Inconceivable. Who else can say, "I'll go tally the votes" in exactly the same tone EVERY SINGLE WEEK? Nobody, that's who.

Put that in his Christmas card, ok?

Posted by: Julie at December 9, 2005 03:15 PM

I have a shameful secret. I find Jeff Probst oddly attractive. I get wildly excited on the finale when they show him carrying the final votes on jet-ski, then great white shark, then helicopter, then NYC taxi to the studio.

Posted by: donna at December 9, 2005 03:19 PM

On Survivor, would you have given the others the cars??

Um, I think I'd pass on eating the doughboy dude...

Posted by: Theresa at December 9, 2005 03:26 PM

Heee. Now I have to find a way to work "Bake that fucker!" into everyday speech.

Posted by: Fraulein N at December 9, 2005 03:30 PM

don't bake the doughboy! he's so cute in his doughy goodness.

Shrubya and Probst on the christmas card list, huh? be cool if they wrote back ;)

Posted by: suze at December 9, 2005 03:36 PM

Jeff who? (I don't watch much TV.)

Pick me! Pick me! I want to be on the Christmas card list too! Hey, if you're gonna write Dubya, ya'll can write me too!

Posted by: Queen of Ass at December 9, 2005 03:48 PM

You lost me on the Survivor thing but the rest of this post was hilarious. Though I'm guessing the Doughboy would be gummy :-P
My email is screwed up, wanted to respond to your comment, will work on the pix ;-) Thanks for stopping over!

Posted by: JuJu's Mom at December 9, 2005 05:02 PM

:) I should send Dubya a card.... I think the front should say, "Merry Christmas, Wanker"

Posted by: Corinne at December 9, 2005 05:23 PM

I would have given everyone else the cars. Of course, I'd last about five seconds on Survivor and I don't quite think that's enough time to get to that particular challenge.

I don't doubt that you'll send GWB a christmas card. What I'm curious about is if they respond with one of their own. It would be nice mannerly thing to do, don't you think?

Posted by: patricia at December 9, 2005 05:38 PM

I'm calling dibs on one of the little fucker's legs!

Posted by: VirgoJen at December 9, 2005 05:57 PM

One of my professors was telling me about a couple he knew whos kids got married and sent out invitations to the governor and mayor etc., they didn't know them but they knew someone would open their mail and send a gift lol...and they DID! :) I'm going to remember that when my kids get married.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at December 9, 2005 05:58 PM

Heh dragonlady sounds sneaky. It'd be interesting to see if your Dubya card gets any reaction. You should share the contents with us; I'm always up for a good rant...

Posted by: Heather at December 9, 2005 07:04 PM

Sneaky yes, but you get a toaster with your name engraved on it lol.

Posted by: dragonlady474 at December 9, 2005 07:41 PM

I love the Pillsbury Doughboy!! I'm glad you gave him a chance :)

Posted by: ava at December 9, 2005 07:53 PM

You'll have to let us know if you get any sort of response!

Posted by: Kitty at December 9, 2005 07:59 PM

Be nice to Jeff! I heart him

Posted by: Pamalamadingdong at December 9, 2005 09:20 PM

You go girl! I mean, ahem, you manly man you.

Posted by: Eulallia at December 9, 2005 09:30 PM

I love "tube time" chats. The only thing better is when you watch too long, then my husband falls slightly asleep and starts saying totally random half awake half asleep crap that is hilarious. Thanks for sharing. :)

Posted by: Emily at December 10, 2005 12:15 AM

I think you should put the doughboy on your christmas list...maybe he'll send you some crescent rolls!

Posted by: MrsJoseGoldbloom at December 10, 2005 12:39 AM

bake that fucker. I think you have just changed my life.

it immediately reminded me of my spouse, who one time referred to Barney as "that big purple fucker". haha.

Posted by: cmhl at December 10, 2005 10:31 AM

I personally think you should fry him, more flavor..and do not be ashamed, if it were not for girly men, how else would us control freak women be happy!!!!!

Posted by: Tiffaneyc at December 10, 2005 10:54 AM

could you put some explosives in the Christmas card you're sending to Dubya? thanks.

Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) at December 10, 2005 01:31 PM

Just a bit of trivia for ya to file away under "things I really didn't need to know". I went to school with Danni on Survivor. My sister graduated with her. Her mom and step dad were my teachers in Jr High and High school. Admit it, you wanted to know.

Posted by: Lori at December 10, 2005 08:24 PM

Oh, the christmas card list. Something we've been prosponing forever. But we're kinda running short on time now. Oh well.

Posted by: Sweety at December 11, 2005 12:18 PM

I was telling my hubby last night about how you remind me so much of him. That if you and Beth were our neighbors, we'd all be good friends. (That is until we got on your nerves and you started parking your car in the garage and keeping your lights low because you were scared that if it looked like you were home we may come over.)

And this entry totally confirms it. Because my hubby would totally say the same thing. heehee.

Posted by: Lisa B at December 11, 2005 08:08 PM

Oh, man. I hope I still have it. Just a sec... There it is! Found it...**NEW%20FILES!/DoughboyAccident.wmv

Merry Christmas!

Posted by: wlfldy at December 16, 2005 09:07 AM