December 21, 2005

Dare To Dream

For the past few nights, I've been having funky dreams. Really funky dreams. I mentioned this to Beth last night and she asked me what they were about. I couldn't really tell her because I couldn't remember and the more I tried, the more I forgot (all I remember now is one that involved the CEO of my old company fighting crime with me and retrieving a stolen Ford Explorer). I woke up this morning with that familiar funky-dream residue. As soon as I rolled my tired ass out of bed, I wrote down everything I could remember.

I was on the Love Boat. The opening credits, the theme song, everything but the captain was genuine. Along with the washed up stars too. I spent the first part of the dream walking the decks and running into Hollywood's crustiest with Happy Days' Marion Ross, eventually running into one of her former colleagues, Chachi/Charles in Charge. Joanie was nowhere to be seen although Chachi had a twin who followed him around everwhere and mimicked his every action after a couple second delay. Odd. I stumbled upon Bill O'Reilly granting someone an interview. I was tempted to push him overboard but didn't - proof that this was a very odd and unrealistic dream. Later, I got the chance to hang out with Pat Sajak. Nice guy and talkative once you get a few gin and tonics into him. Between you and me, Vanna's apparently quite the slut. Shhh!

The mingling was fun but I was there with a purpose - a shady, illegal White Elephant Christmas gift exchange. It was held in a dark, damp room devoid of furniture lit only by a bare bulb swinging from the ceiling. At some point during this rogue holiday celebration, I cheated. Overcome by guilt, I admitted it as the exchange ended, exclaiming, "I have, my friends, cheated you all and now I must pay the price, for I am throwing myself overboard." And I did.

It would appear that I took along a raft, a waterproof camera and a friend when I made the plunge. I spent the better part of the evening coasting alongside the Love Boat, snapping pictures of its hull and the myriad of marine life traveling the waters with us. I wasn't surprised when the ship turned into a bus. No, as a matter of fact, in a stunning coup I guided the Love Boat/Bus into lower Manhattan, through endless throngs of cheering people thus ending the transit workers' strike.

When I woke up from the dream, I discovered a wheezing in my ear and a finger in my nose. Concerned, I opened my eyes and discovered that my daughter was responsible for both. When you've cruised the open sea with washed up sitcom stars and saved the east coast from a crippling strike, there's nothing quite like waking up to see the most gorgeous site in the world - your daughter, with her fingers up your nose.

Posted by Chris at December 21, 2005 07:08 AM

That is hotter than any white elephant gift exchange i've ever been to! Even with the inclusion of crusty B-List stars!!

Posted by: Brooke at December 21, 2005 07:33 AM

a black market white elephant gift exchange and bill o'reilly? sounds more like a nightmare. hee hee.

Posted by: tj at December 21, 2005 07:50 AM

Ha! Weird dreams are totally in the water. Sunday - I dreamed (dreamt?) about Wesley Snipes for no reason at all than he must be in my subconscious somewhere.

Posted by: C at December 21, 2005 07:52 AM

love boat, scott baio, bill o'reilly, and pat sajack? Funky dreams? Dude no, sounds like nightmares to me.. but hey Mia comforting her dad with her fingers up his nose is pricelss, where was beth with the camera when we needed her?

Posted by: Angelia at December 21, 2005 08:01 AM

Again, please back away from the Jack Daniels Red.

Posted by: Pammer at December 21, 2005 08:46 AM

I am scared. Why? Because I know you probably didn't make that up.

Posted by: Fraulein N at December 21, 2005 08:46 AM cute! For now, that is. Wait a year, and that finger up the nose thing means you'll have to go buy a spackling knife. ;)

Posted by: Theresa at December 21, 2005 08:52 AM

So, in the love boat sequence - were your socks all the way up to your knees or slouched down?

Posted by: Rae at December 21, 2005 09:15 AM

The scary thing is that I've had a Love Boat dream before, but I've never the waking up with kid fingers up my nose. That one is uniquely yours, I think. :D

Posted by: Spring at December 21, 2005 09:15 AM

HA! I can't WAIT to hear what kind of Google hits that post is going to bring in! :)

Posted by: angela marie at December 21, 2005 09:29 AM

At least it wasn't your own finger in your nose. What kind of drinks did Isaac make you on that boat?

Posted by: Beth in StL at December 21, 2005 09:37 AM

This post reminded me that I once threw myself a birthday party with a Pat Sajak theme...(and I wonder why I stopped drinking)...

Posted by: Marilyn at December 21, 2005 10:10 AM

Wow, what a dream (nightmare!). I would have thrown myself over board!

Did you have yourself a nightcap last night before bed?

Posted by: VirgoJen at December 21, 2005 10:16 AM

I just turned in a big pile of sugary mush. How am I ever going to go to my 9am meeting?

Posted by: melati at December 21, 2005 10:29 AM

Very lovely. I recommend Ambien. Although your dreams get weirder, you won't wake up whether your daughter has her finger up your nose or not.

Posted by: Queen Of Ass at December 21, 2005 10:31 AM

When I eat popcorn before bed, I have the strangest dreams,
I once dreamed that "Captain Kangeroo cooked my husband and I a chicken dinner! "
It will be the title of my autobiagraphy!

Posted by: spinner at December 21, 2005 10:35 AM fingers in the nose. That's the best, second only to your preschooler telling you about her dream where you are both hippos. That's sweet and all...unless you're hung up on your weight and freak out a little in your mind because Oh.My.God, my child thinks I'm a hippo!

Yes, I have issues.

Posted by: Doula Amy at December 21, 2005 11:14 AM

Dude. I used to have to drive Marion Ross to interviews and the like (I worked PR for a play she was in). It had it's moments of dream like oddity.

Your dream rocks.

Posted by: Elaine at December 21, 2005 11:31 AM

let me know if you have a sudden need to hear the uber-disturbing theme song to joanie loves chachi show, my friend sent it to me the other day. it made me cringe

Posted by: jodi at December 21, 2005 11:51 AM

What a wacky dream. Good idea to write it down as soon as you got up, I hardly ever remember my dreams.

Posted by: Adi at December 21, 2005 02:24 PM

WOw, is she big enough to climb on the bed? As for the dream. I too have dreamed about THE LOVE BOAT!

I was Isaac holding up cocktails and pointing like he does.

Posted by: mrsmogul at December 21, 2005 05:40 PM

yeah this confirms it, there IS something VERY wrong with you

Posted by: shaners at December 21, 2005 07:41 PM

Your dream was very entertaining. Loved it.

Last night my hubby snored so loud, he woke up our little boy and myself. Our little guy came into our room and said, 'Mommy. I had a bad dream. I could hear a big monster growling." (The snoring....) I had to keep telling him that it was daddy snoring. Finally, I stayed with him and he finally got back to sleep.

Posted by: Lisa B at December 21, 2005 10:27 PM

I hate to tell you this but "Marian Ross" plays a recurring character/s on Gilmore Girls.

Posted by: That Girl at December 22, 2005 07:34 AM

Where can I get tickets for this particular cruise?

Posted by: jen at December 22, 2005 08:16 AM