January 03, 2006

Good Morning, Office

Good morning phone. You with your sleek black lines and fancy digital screen which betray just how annoying you are. Oh, how I'd like to leave my out-of-office message on you and refuse to answer you all day.

Good morning computer. Is there a way we can make a deal about incoming mail? Perhaps you could just divert it to an unsuspecting business man in, say, Hong Kong or Indianapolis for today?

Good morning chair. I appreciate you letting my supple ass rest upon you all day but frankly my couch at home would be preferable. Sure, the couch doesn't swivel, nor does it go up and down or recline ever so slightly. But you? You're not purple. And you're not actually in my living room.

Good morning space heater. Thank you for keeping me warm but, no offence, bed would be a damn sight better.

Good morning speakers. Perhaps I can crank you to 11 and blow the roof off this mutha. For those about to work, we salute you!

Good morning white board. So blank and empty. Don't worry, I won't get any more complicated than the odd stick figure or, perhaps, a word of the day. Today's word? Unmotivated.

Good morning file cabinets. Is still refuse to open you, as I fear your contents would tumble forth rapidly and kill me. And I do not need to be crushed under three and a half tons of paper and binders this morning. That would qualify as a very bad first day back from vacation.

Good morning building next door. I can see you and the scant few people working inside you this morning from my window. Poor bastards. At least I'm not alone.

Good morning Internet. If you can't tell, I'm back at work. And I'm not really all that pleased about it. Okay, so, where did I leave off a couple weeks ago...

Posted by Chris at January 3, 2006 07:05 AM

Oy vey.... can't wait for my turn in less than an hour. Only? Mine will be a helluva more hectic than yours appears to be right off the bat. Lucky me!

Good luck on surviving today!

Posted by: ironic1 at January 3, 2006 07:19 AM

Good Morning to you, but where oh where is that "Good morning coffee?" Your saving grace for today, I'm sure!

Happy back to work. Or not. ;-)

Posted by: VirgoJen at January 3, 2006 07:35 AM

You NEED a home business!!

Posted by: Jess at January 3, 2006 07:37 AM

Welcome back to the land of the terminally employed! ;-)

Posted by: Amy at January 3, 2006 07:53 AM

Couldn't have summed it up better myself. This is the first time in a couple weeks that I needed to start off the day with coffee! And my *favorite* phone is already playing games b/c I have no idea if I am logged into the phone loop. What a great way to start the morning. GOOD MORNING 2006

Posted by: Michelle at January 3, 2006 08:32 AM

Couldn't have summed it up better myself. This is the first time in a couple weeks that I needed to start off the day with coffee! And my *favorite* phone is already playing games b/c I have no idea if I am logged into the phone loop. What a great way to start the morning. GOOD MORNING 2006

Posted by: Michelle at January 3, 2006 08:32 AM

If you can get that email system rigged up, I need you to come to Chicago and fix mine too.

Posted by: ~L. at January 3, 2006 08:38 AM

Good morning and (a belated) Happy New Year!

Posted by: Fraulein N at January 3, 2006 09:01 AM

I'm back too. We gotta figure a way out of this work crap.

Posted by: donna at January 3, 2006 09:19 AM

Have you been reading Goodnight Moon to Mia?

Posted by: Pammer at January 3, 2006 09:39 AM

Sounds like someone read a lot of "Goodnight Moon" while he was on vacation! At least it's only a four day week.

Posted by: Beth in StL at January 3, 2006 09:41 AM

Replace "Good Morning" with the word "fuckin'" and you've pretty much got my morning, too. Time to research that tree-house in New Zealand I've always wanted to move to...

Welcome back

Posted by: CroutonBoy at January 3, 2006 09:56 AM

Goodmorning Cactus, oh delightfully interesting and funny internet friend! Hope you have a good day back at work.

Posted by: Kelly M. at January 3, 2006 10:11 AM

I just have no clue where to start, except for the fact that I don't want to be here. And I'm planning to refuse to answer to phone/email/ or do any work today. So far, I've spent a lot of money on amazon.ca. It's been great fun!

The boss is away, I plan to shop all day.


Posted by: Nat at January 3, 2006 10:25 AM

perhaps we should rethink that idea of starting up a "how to slack off and de-stress" consulting business.

Posted by: jodi at January 3, 2006 10:26 AM

I know how you feel. Spring semester starts this Thursday and I'm half-way dreading it. My time off went too fast and was wrought with near disasters. Okay, maybe I will be glad for things to get back to normal a little-bit.

Posted by: dragolady474 at January 3, 2006 10:49 AM

Is this the sequel to Goodnight Moon?

Posted by: Jessica at January 3, 2006 11:24 AM

"supple ass"?

Lovely imagery, Chris. :)

Posted by: Alison at January 3, 2006 11:27 AM

I sit here in my purple office chair wishing at was at home on the brown couch. Hope you make it through the day. I keep telling myself that it will be alright, and that it is only a 4 day week.

Posted by: sarah at January 3, 2006 11:32 AM

I feel your pain. Amplified by jet lag and too many nights up til 2am in PST versus CST.

Posted by: Heather at January 3, 2006 11:46 AM

You forgot the whole GOOD MORNING COFFEE. Pot of coffee is more like it. I don't know about you, but I drink MORE coffee when I have to bear the office. At home, it is a leisure activity.

Posted by: Bethany at January 3, 2006 12:06 PM

Ooh! Ooh! Can I pick tomorrow's word of the day? I think it should be "aplomb". I love that word.

Posted by: Eulallia at January 3, 2006 12:48 PM

reading a little too much of Goodnight Moon?

Posted by: speckledpup at January 3, 2006 02:31 PM

Being back at work...sucks.

I found out today that our "corporate office" is watching everything we look at online and blocking the sites we visit the most.

I have been blocked out of my gossip sites, as of today. The blogs aren't too far behind.

I am not sure how I'm going to make it through the days at work.

Posted by: Isabel at January 3, 2006 03:31 PM

Good nite, Moon...ooops! Different story.

Posted by: Michelle at January 3, 2006 03:52 PM

Has someone been reading a little "Goodnight, Moon"?

Posted by: DeAnn at January 3, 2006 04:02 PM

Agreed. Today SUCKS.

Posted by: HipMamaB at January 3, 2006 05:10 PM

CroutonBoy stole my morning dialogue! Going back to work was rougher than I imagined, made more difficult by the lack of "nicotine inspiration" I have heretofore relied upon. Surprisingly, the most keen craving came at the end of the day when I usually enjoy my "reward nicotine". Glad we have a short workweek!

Posted by: JuJu's Mom at January 3, 2006 05:58 PM

Welcome bbbbbaaccckkkk!

Posted by: Lisa B at January 3, 2006 07:43 PM