January 06, 2006
The Internet is Freaky
It's Friday (yay!) and time for something decidedly less serious than yesterday's post. So, I bring you, once again, some of the freaky searches that bring people to my site.
Vote for the ass. I didn't realize this was up for a vote. But I can get behind the ass. Uh...you know what I mean.
Asshat PM. "Are you one of the millions of asshats experiencing problems falling or staying asleep? Try Asshat PM!"
Warp eleven. Ahh, one of the technological developments debuting in Spinal Tap: The Next Generation.
Christening having sex. What kind of freaky-ass church do you go to?
Cipro coughing. SARS! SARS! Danger Will Robinson! Everyone clear out!
No shirt week. Well, alright, but my boss won't be happy.
Start smoking Italy. It's gonna be a bitch to light.
I came home this afternoon after picking up my copy of gta and i smelled something funny from my neighbors house. I went over there and the door was unlocked so i went right in. Sure eno... WTF?
Rufus Hallelujah piano note. Middle C. Other than that, it's unclear. Try E?
Tits pants mother-in-law embarrass bulge. These words, individually, scare me enough. Combine them and you're in freak territory.
Pharmaceutical drug nicknamed blueberry pancakes. Another fine product by IHOP-SmithKline.
I need some information first. You know, just the basic facts. Can you show me where it hurts?
Can cable companies tell when you are stealing cable. Yes. You're fucked.
How to tell if you are having a boy or girl from sonogram pictures? There's this thing called a penis. You should really be familiar with it, having become or gotten someone pregnant.
Weather snow where are those eight inches you promised me last week? I'm not a weatherman. I just play one on the Internet.
Rude nubbins. I swear, if I ever form a band again, I'm going to call it Rude Nubbins.
I cough and pee. Well, I sneeze and burp. So there!
Having a child is wonderful. Damn straight, my friend. Damn straight.
Posted by Chris at January 6, 2006 07:10 AM
You know, Asshat PM could be the Prime Minister of Asshat..... :) And those other ones? Simply hilarious!
That's quite an eclectic blog you have there.
Have a great weekend. And I hope your Friday goes by quickly.
Oh man - I could use some of that Asshat PM, Nyquil just isn't cutting it anymore.
LOL, thanks for a pre-coffee smile :)
Wow, that is quite a collection. Those search words are usually funny, but I keep getting the ones that say 'pamela anderson's boobs'. I mean, I only mentioned it once! They won't let it go! :)
and with the canadian election going on, my first thought with Asshat PM was not a sleep aid, but our lovely prime minister...i could totally see someone calling him an asshat. stephen harper perhaps?
"...where are those eight inches you promised me last week?...
Yes gentlemen, THAT is the question.
You get all the cool searches..
I get strange ones from wierd places, but somehow, they are more sick than funny.
Heee. I want "Start smoking Italy" on a T-shirt. I don't have anything against Italy, I just think it's hilarious. C'mon: "Start smoking Italy." On a shirt. That's comedy gold!
LOL! I LOVE when you do these posts! Makes me feel better that I'm the only one getting weird searches!
If the next batch of swag says "Start Smoking Italy," my friends and family are SOOOOO going to hate all my Christmas and birthday gifts this year. But who could resist!?
"Tits pants mother-in-law embarrass bulge"? I want to know what happened at THEIR Holiday get-together to cause that search!
I love this shit. The GTA one sounds like the intro to Penthouse Forum. And damn if I won't have second thoughts the next time my wife offers to make blueberry pancakes.
The Italy and Floyd references were genius, BTW
Thanks for the laugh--gotta love these weird searches.
What's really scary is these freaks might eventually *find* what they're looking for!
rude nubbins... damn, that's funny! thanks for making my morning a little easier to get through.
"Tits pants mother-in-law embarrass bulge"... that was me. Imagine my surprise when I got directed here!
Also, I cough and pee and you sneeze and burp made me laugh out loud and I never ever do that here. Especially when you talk about dead wives and the husbands left behind. Sad Frown.
"I came home this afternoon after picking up my copy of gta and i smelled something funny from my neighbors house. I went over there and the door was unlocked so i went right in. Sure eno..."
So when I tried a search of this... your #1! hahaha
Where are the 8 inches you promised me.... That is so funny! Too great.
Another classic! These searches never cease to amaze and your side comments ALWAYS crack me up. I'm lucky I wasn't drinking my coffee yet or it would have totally been spit out all over my monitor. Yes, I'm classy like that! Try not to fall in love with me! HAHAHAHA,...Happy Friday, Freak!
I love the "I came home and the neighbors door was unlocked and I walked right in..." the only other thing it needs is "Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me..."
Also this makes me wonder how stupid is the average web user if this is what they put into search engines?
Its always entertaining to check out the referral log. You really have some crazy ones.
I can't come up with a snappy comment, but if I could, it would be about your search strings being made of ENTIRE SENTENCES.
Thanks for the laugh. I always look forward to these entries!
HAHAHAHAHA! That's awesome. I think last time my husband looked it up my number one search hit was "Ginny nekkid." (don't ask me)
every time i think i have freaky deaky searches, you post yours and completely blow mine out of the water.
LOL I thought my searches were funny, yours are hilarious! Thanks for the good laugh.
Really, REALLY funny material! Perfect for a Friday :-)
Hey, Cacti Man. Just stopped in to say happy new year, and holy cow is that Mia a little doll, and oh, I so second the Rude Nubbins as a band name. Heh!
I love these. They always make me wonder why that person is searching for that. Odd.
HA! You slay me. You see what kind of wackos you attract?
Hahaha ;) you are too funny, thanks for making me laugh. I needed it. Have a nice weekend!!
Your readers creep me out!
Love it! I came across your link on a blogroll and I'm glad I did...Congratulations! You and your wife are the newest additions to my blogroll and my daily reading list.
Can you share your wisdom with me on how to get that google search info, please? I simply must see how people are finding me but am too dumb and lazy to figure it out myself. (I tried, I really did - too dumb...)
Thanks for the entertainment!