January 17, 2006

Cruise Missles and AquaNet

I'll state this upfront - I don't like terrorism. I think it's lame. And I'm all for nailing the lame terrorists. We don't want to let them win. Clearly we need to blindly follow inept leaders and let our email be inspected by the fine folks at the ASN (see what I did there? cryptography in action!). But we lobbed a mighty bitch-slap of death into a sovereign country and few days ago. There's something that feels, well, icky about that.

Let's say some Bad Dudes are holed up in a house in suburban Detroit, Bad Dudes our friends and allies from the mythical land of Hookarnia have been hunting for due to a spate of bizarre laundromat explosions that have claimed the lives of several overachieving college students and more than a few Old Navy hoodies. So, officials from this mythical land send an elite team of commando Hookers to the streets of suburban Detroit in an effort to systematically seek and destroy the Bad Dudes. Of course, they eliminate these laundromatophobes with extreme prejudice but the Hookers also manage to take out a packed gay bar, a small foreign car dealership and an all-girl's charm school. Sure, not many people are going to be up in arms about the loss of car salesmen or a foreign car dealership in Detroit but - poof - what about the loss of innocent lives? The charm? The fashion sense? Hookers and charm, it would seem, are indeed mutually exclusive.

How would you feel about Hookers walking your streets? About their lack of respect for American borders and the unwillingness to allow decisions - ones that impact American lives - to be made by the people they most effect?

Sometimes, my friends, you just have to walk in a Hooker's lucite high-heels to gain a little perspective on the world.

Author's note: this started off as a serious rant. I'm not entirely sure what happened. Tired...

Posted by Chris at January 17, 2006 02:06 PM

Umm...strange, but I think I get it. I too was a little disturbed by the whole thing, especially the guy on the Today show this morning who said (and I paraphrase) "It's okay if you kill a few kids, as long as you get the bad guy too. It's totally worth it". I doubt it's worth it to those kids' families.

Posted by: Jessie at January 17, 2006 02:23 PM

First, let me start off by saying that I'm a blonde, and it took me a few re-reads to finally understand what I think you are trying to say. I believe that only our maker can determine our fate, especially how we leave this earth, so I would say, let the hookers do their job and if my life is taken in an effort to save millions, so be it. I'm okay with that. If my life was taken because someone was actin' a fool, well then thats a whole different story.

Posted by: Nik at January 17, 2006 02:31 PM

I think you were OK until you involved Hookarnia. It was all downhill from there.

Posted by: Dawn at January 17, 2006 02:42 PM

Ok, well I just came over to say HELLO. I'm gonna have to let that whole terroism/hooker thing settle a bit. I'll get back to ya. Really, I will. ;)

Posted by: Kate at January 17, 2006 03:03 PM

Terrorists disguised as hookers? taking out gay bars?

All I can say is that the sleepless nights thing is taking its toll on you. Its ok.... Its all ok.....

Posted by: don at January 17, 2006 04:45 PM

Hmmm...perspective. Yes.

Posted by: Northern_Girl at January 17, 2006 05:40 PM

Dude. You need more sleep.

But you're right. Really. It's crazy.

Posted by: Autumn at January 17, 2006 05:55 PM

Not quite sure where "Aquanet" fits in there, but okay.

I don't live in the States, but if I did, I wouldn't so much mind the spooks poking through my mail and phone calls if it means catching some baddies somewhere down the line. They're not likely to be interested in my stuff anyway. Like you, what I don't like is the disregard that has been showed to innocent foreign lives, not domestic privacy.

Posted by: Gavin at January 17, 2006 06:08 PM

It all depends. Are these garden variety hookers or TJ's hookers?

Posted by: Janet at January 17, 2006 07:14 PM

OK I know I'm tired, but the terrorists are in Afghanistan though, right? What ever happened to that war?

Posted by: Beth in StL at January 17, 2006 10:25 PM

well..........ok then........... it'll be alright Chris I promise...........maybe.................well hopefully.......

Posted by: Sunshine at January 17, 2006 10:38 PM

That left me confused CRC, I'll have to admit (I'm blond. I can't help it) - but it seemed funny.

It was...Supposed to be funny...Right??

And Jessie - you are kidding me, right? A guy on TV actually SAID that?
Oh sure.
Kill kids.
Like anybody will care...
Well *I* fucking well care, and I'm childless. I imagine the non-childless won't be too thrilled about it either.
It's simple, really. If I get blown to bits in the bid to end terrorism (not that I can see how me dying would help as I'm not exactly important OR a terrorist, but still), then sure, fine, so be it. God speed.
If a *child* gets blown to bits in the bid to end terrorism, I am going to be severely pissed off. And I will make sure the person who said that knows it. And if I've already been blown to bits, I will haunt him.
Ohhh yes. I will haunt him. And believe you me, *Mr. Kids Don't Matter*: there is nothing worse than a hormonal, blond, pissed off and prematurely dead 21-year-old girl from England.

Believe. You. Me.

Posted by: Alice at January 19, 2006 05:10 AM