February 17, 2006

Close Encounters of the Old MacDonald Kind

Mia's excersaucer (praise be the Creator of the excersaucer, oh great molder of plastic) plays different songs, one of which is Old MacDonald. For some reason, Old MacD (as he's known in the 'hood) is on a hair trigger. So we hear the song a lot. The other night, while eating dinner, we were hard-pressed to come up with any more animals that could be living on the MacDonald farm. We improvised. Improvisation is never good.

Old MacDonald had a farm.
And on that farm he had an alien
Ei-igh, ei-eigh, oh
With a zeelblibbit here
And a zeelblibbit there
Here a zeelblibbit
There a zeelblibbit
Everywhere a zeelblibbit zeelblibbit
Old MacDonald had an alien
Ei-igh, ei-eigh, oh...

Trust us to take it one, horribly inappropriate step further.

Old MacDonald had a farm.
Ei-igh, ei-eigh, oh
And on that farm he got anal probed.
Ei-igh, ei-eigh, oh
With a boy howdy that smarts here
And a boy howdy that smarts there
Here a boy howdy that smarts
There a boy howdy that smarts
Everywhere a boy howdy that smarts
Old MacDonald got anal probed
Ei-igh, ei-eigh, oh...

Posted by Chris at February 17, 2006 06:24 AM

Nice. Thanks for the soundtrack to my teacher meetings today. I think perhaps I should be an observer rather than an active vocal participant... just in case I mix up what I really want to say with what's playing on the 'soundtrack' in my head.

Hope your day is funner (OK, 'more fun') than mine!!!

Posted by: ironic1 at February 17, 2006 07:06 AM

I would call you foul names if I didnt secretly love you already...

here a crap there a crap every where a crap crap... shit that is my day!

Posted by: stinkerbell at February 17, 2006 07:40 AM

Meow - Cat - Gato
Woof - Dog - Perro
Roar - Lion - Leo
Moo - Cow - Vaca

It's certainly helping his DJ skillz - it's like some demented guy with just animal sounds on his turntables - meow, woof, quack, woof, roar, moo, roar, moo - Please....make it stop!

Posted by: Mr. Big Dubya at February 17, 2006 08:05 AM

That's one of the best ways to start a Friday ever.

Posted by: Dawn at February 17, 2006 08:15 AM

the wheels on the bus go around and around
around and around
around and around
the wheels on the bus go around and around
all through the town.

repeat at length changing to people on the bus. wipers on the bus. et al.

oh and do you have a copy of GOODNIGHT MOON yet?

thats going to be another one that sits and repeats repeats repeats.

goodnight nobody goodnight mush.

Posted by: melanie at February 17, 2006 08:15 AM

Chef, what's an anal probe?

It's a BIG metal hoob-a-joob that goes... (well you know the rest...)

Posted by: Deepblue at February 17, 2006 08:41 AM

These are the hazards of parenting (and teaching) that no one warns you about.

With lyrical mayhem like that, Mia's going to be the coolest gal in class.

Posted by: Anne at February 17, 2006 08:43 AM

Hee. I'll never be able to hear "OldMacDaddy" without thinking of your improvs again. I'm thinking that's a good thing.

Posted by: Fraulein N at February 17, 2006 08:59 AM

okay, but if you do it again I'll be forced to bring it with "It's A Small World".

Posted by: Pammer at February 17, 2006 08:59 AM

Thanks for the new verses, I was running out of animals/sounds for OldMacDaddy! It is the perennial favorite of our little one and rings in my head all day...

Posted by: bd at February 17, 2006 09:23 AM

I'll definitely give you points for creativity on that one. Thanks for a Friday morning laugh. :)

Posted by: Jessie at February 17, 2006 09:47 AM

I was happy with the regular barn yard animals....
that's a childhood memory killer...

Posted by: jennifer at February 17, 2006 09:52 AM

Old Mac Daddy is cool. Now you need to incorporate all the urban or DJ longo into this.

Old Mac Daddy had a turntable
with a wicky wicky here and wicky wicky there.

Posted by: Bill at February 17, 2006 09:58 AM

What were you doing up at 6 on your day off?

Oh, yeah. Mia.

Never mind.


Posted by: Allan at February 17, 2006 10:26 AM

That's not as bad as trying to figure out the BINGO song after singing Old MacDonald for a while. Now I really don't know the difference...

Posted by: Oakley at February 17, 2006 10:46 AM

ANAL PROBED!!!! OMG!! I almost fell out of my cubicle when I read that.

Boy howdy that smarts here!

*rolling on floor of cubicle laughing her zeeblibbit off*

Posted by: Red at February 17, 2006 10:51 AM

Happy Friday to you and MacDaddy

Posted by: Ginny at February 17, 2006 11:08 AM

One of our cats names happens to be "Pimp Daddy Mac". You can use that if you ever get bored with the Old McDonald name in the future.

Posted by: Jamie at February 17, 2006 11:49 AM

That is good stuff. I have had to tone it down when I bust freestyle now that the squad has started repeating everything I say. I don't know if it is more or less funny when they echo songs about diarrhea and what Bob the Builder does to Wendy when nobody is looking.

Posted by: gabe at February 17, 2006 12:12 PM

"boy howdy"? Old MacD is certainly more polite than I would be.

Posted by: jodi at February 17, 2006 12:22 PM

ah, dear sweet mia.

you are in for a lifetime of fun. ;)

Posted by: Sarcomical at February 17, 2006 12:52 PM

So, what's the number for the child protection services again?

Posted by: bhd at February 17, 2006 02:04 PM

Trust me, with my dirty mind, that's the most innocent verse of Old McDonald that I've ever heard. In college my roomates and I made up some pretty risque versions of some childrens songs.... if only I'd written them down... Glad you guys have a LONGGGGGGGG weekend!!! Enjoy!!

Posted by: Corinne at February 17, 2006 02:37 PM

Thank you, now I have that song in my head. And yet, your lyrics much more appealing than the original set. Have you conisdered doing an album of covers of kid's songs using your own lyrics?

Posted by: Karen at February 17, 2006 02:50 PM

I just shot water out of my nose. That is a great version. Mind you, I won't be teaching it to Nata anytime soon.

Posted by: Melissa at February 17, 2006 02:51 PM

Ahhh, modern pregressive parenting. It's never too early to learn the evil truthes of life on the farm:)

Posted by: Bethany at February 17, 2006 03:09 PM

That was so funny. Good job! We do that to songs too. Its the only way to amuse yourself after you've heard a children's song 500 million times!

Posted by: Lisa B at February 17, 2006 03:57 PM

Damn! What kind of farm ARE you living on?

Posted by: Queen of Ass at February 17, 2006 04:19 PM

Isn't it a lot easier and faster to type E-I-E-I-O??? Surely the King of Time Management knows this... Good lyrics :-)

Posted by: JuJu's Mom Linda at February 17, 2006 04:48 PM

All of those alien sightings you read about in the finest of tabloids tend to happen in the middle of nowhere, so you may not be too far off!

Posted by: Beth in StL at February 17, 2006 07:38 PM

LOL - one day I was completely tapped out of ways to entertain Sierra... I busted out all of her plush toys and made them dance around as I sung that song to her. I had a helluva time coming up with the sounds that fish and turtles made...

Posted by: Marie at February 17, 2006 07:57 PM

heh heh... you are a couple of sick puppies. But then again, that's why I keep coming here!

Posted by: Lisa at February 18, 2006 06:04 PM

I couldn't finish reading this I was laughing so hard. Nice!

Posted by: scott at February 18, 2006 07:14 PM

This is the sort of shit my husband will sing.

Posted by: statia at February 19, 2006 03:12 AM

LOL! Oh, you are my type of people!

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Posted by: gHUXoPeLKR at February 22, 2006 01:31 AM

The first part of this post reminded me of the object that we, in this household speak of in reverential tones: the Jolly Jumper Baby Exerciser.

Blessed be thy inventor for with the jolly jumper many things such as dinner are possible...


Posted by: Jacqueline at February 22, 2006 09:39 PM