March 15, 2006

Coffee and Crying Jags

Things have not started well...

There are three kinds of cries Mia seems to break out depending on her mood and the criticality of whatever it is that happens to be wrong. First, there's the I'm moderately annoyed and/or uncomfortable but, hey, I'll get over it cry which is more fussy than anything. It's easily dealt with by picking her up or waving something shiny in front of her. Next, and slightly more robust, is the damnit, I'm pissed, I feel like crap, so get your asses in here now, people, marked by more serious, loud crying jags with extra-added bonus tears. Finally, there's the dreaded holy shit, people, a pack of wild dogs somehow made it into the house, climbed a flight of stairs and started chewing my appendages off cry. You would think that the end of the world as foretold by the book of Revelations was playing out in her room.

Last night? It was that third thing. Most of the night.

Then, before I knew it, the damn alarm was going off and, of course, I hit snooze over and over again despite being hit in the head by my wife because I'm still feeling about as motivated to go to work as I am to let rabid raccoons devour my scrotum. When I did head into work, it was cold and windy and the traffic sucked. And, just now, I strolled into my office, booted up and took a sip of coffee. Instead of it being the standard black, they dumped gallons of cream and sugar into it. I feel betrayed. Those women at Dunkin Donuts, I thought they knew me. I thought we were tight. Soulless bitches.

I have eight meetings standing between me and the weekend. I think itís time to get more coffee.

Posted by Chris at March 15, 2006 07:31 AM

Hang in there Rude.

Try short cat naps under the desk you know like George Costanza. It works for me....

Posted by: Wicked H at March 15, 2006 07:52 AM

ugh. there is nothing worse than the taste of coffee diluted by the thick sweetness of sugar and cream when you are expecting the delightful black coffee goodness. i feel for ya...

Posted by: suze at March 15, 2006 07:58 AM

Go get 'em Meeting Man! Faster than a speeding pullet, he slips on his tights, throws the cape over his shoulder, and dares any facilitator to lead HIM to a conclusion...he's Meeting Man and he means to meet.

*sorry about the java--but don't let it set the tone for the entire day!*

Posted by: Kristen at March 15, 2006 08:16 AM

Ugh, I remember nights like that. Elizabeth's been sick with a cold that's running around the daycare lately, so 3am is when we've found that the medicine wears off, and we hear this horrible hacking cough, followed by her crying.

Posted by: amber at March 15, 2006 08:22 AM

Man, I do know about those nights. Shall I send you a box of toothpicks? And good luck on finding some black coffee.

Posted by: Angelia at March 15, 2006 08:26 AM

You know, what with me barely sleeping and you guys needing some, maybe we can work out some sort of deal? How does four books per hour sound like to you? You have plenty of them and I'm hella good with the kiddies! ;-)

Posted by: pea at March 15, 2006 08:32 AM

Good Morning to you then! Sorry about the coffee.. nothing worse than nasty coffee in the morning..

Gotta love those middle of the night screams. They have stopped for the most part in our house.. but we get the occasional child that manages to find their way to our bed in the middle of the night.

Hope the day gets better for you!

Posted by: molly at March 15, 2006 08:54 AM

Aw, I thought the people at Dunkin Donuts knew you too. Maybe someone new made your coffee? I'm just pissed about the weather. It's windy as hell and there's SNOW. Wasn't it almost 80 like two days ago? Jeez.

Posted by: Fraulein N at March 15, 2006 09:00 AM

Sounds kinda like my morning...Just replace screaming baby with barking dogs. The stupid things are outside freezing (one's a Boxer, the other has slightly more fur)therefore barking their heads off. And my coffee this morning? The lid fell off the sugar cup and into my mug. Uber amounts of sweetness, it just kinda ruined the coffee, but I still needed it!! Hope your day works out! Happy Hump Day :)

Posted by: Michelle at March 15, 2006 09:05 AM

OMG when I read your post title I thought you were stalking me. That's the whole of a menopausal woman's life! Mine anyway... ;-)
May the rest of the week fly by, Cactus.

Posted by: JuJu's Mom Linda at March 15, 2006 09:09 AM

Oh, the coffee, that is an awful trick. I would absolutely feel betrayed. I'm very particular about my beverages and don't like surprises, sugar in my coffee or tea being the worst possible surprise.

Posted by: Melissa at March 15, 2006 09:21 AM

Hope your day gets better! (or at least you find a way to nap at your desk without getting in trouble). At least you didn't fall and scrape up your knee this morning. Cuz that would suck. Just sayin', you know, from experience and all. (My morning's not going great either.)

Posted by: Jessie at March 15, 2006 09:23 AM

Yuck on the coffee, been there with the crying although not often. We were lucky.

However, they're making up for it now.

Posted by: ann adams at March 15, 2006 09:24 AM

Okay. So the 'rabid racoon' comment was way TMI.

I'll have my legs crossed all day now.

Posted by: Allan at March 15, 2006 09:27 AM

"holy shit, people, a pack of wild dogs somehow made it into the house, climbed a flight of stairs and started chewing my appendages off cry" Not a good night. And crappy coffee on top of that! Sorry the sleep situation is so rough. I have no pearl of wisdom to offer...

Posted by: Theresa at March 15, 2006 09:43 AM

I don't know which is worse. A baby's crying or the woman in my head who occassionally screams on a long one note scream 24/7. Gad, how I love menopause! meh

Posted by: Red at March 15, 2006 09:48 AM

oh dear, i'm so sorry for your suckage. glad to hear you are a dunking donuts man. they left me a big swig of coffee grounds in my cup this morning. i took the swig in front of my boss. and tried, unsuccessfully, not to make a total ass of myself.

Posted by: kara at March 15, 2006 09:56 AM

That sucks. Sorry to hear. Hopefully, Mia will have worn herself out and will sleep through tonight.

I almost wrote that she will hopefully "sleep like a baby," but then I realized that that phrase is a TOTAL LIE.

Posted by: Spring at March 15, 2006 10:20 AM

awww, poor Mia....and more so...poor you! see what happens when you let a pack of wild dogs into the house? :D

Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) at March 15, 2006 10:21 AM

Sending you good vibes and energy. I don't know if you guys have Tim Horton's down there yet, but I made the switch from the Dunk, and have never looked back.

"Drink coffee....destroy everything!" Less Than Jake

Peace man,

Posted by: JackassJimmy at March 15, 2006 10:32 AM

I hope she doesn't have an ear infection or something. It's usually that cry (if it's most of the night) when you wonder if you should head to the ER in the middle of the night or just put them in the garage in a box and hope it stops soon. Just Kidding!

How in the world do manage to read books after having a child? Please explain, is this a work thing? Do I need an office job to get some reading done? LOL

Posted by: Sabrina at March 15, 2006 11:11 AM

dang. that sucks. at least its hump day..

Posted by: steph at March 15, 2006 11:33 AM

Oh poor Mia! Get well soon!

What we've found to work lately when baby is sick is to put Sierra in her swing and let her sleep there over the night. It worked like a charm last night - I got a whole 3 hours of straight sleep (and I'm keeping Duracell in business). Yippee!

Posted by: Marie at March 15, 2006 11:34 AM

Oooohhhh.... that is so not helping the pregnant chick who put all that out of her mind and is happy living in denial right now. Gah.

But, I do feel for ya, man. *virtual large coffee handed over with side of donuts*

Posted by: Pammer at March 15, 2006 11:45 AM

MMM, I love when you can eat your coffee with a spoon. *gag*

Posted by: statia at March 15, 2006 11:56 AM

you should have called in sick. you are a stronger man than i. especially since i am not a man.

Posted by: jodi at March 15, 2006 01:47 PM

wait a coffee??? that's VERY grown up of you.

Posted by: ali at March 15, 2006 01:49 PM

Man that sucks. Maybe you should find a new dunkin donuts. Or give them a tip one day, they will love you forever then. Just a thought on the screaming thing. Maybe she is teething. Mine were screaming banshees at that age when they were cutting teeth. Hope the meetings go well.

Posted by: Melissa at March 15, 2006 01:56 PM

Dunkin Donuts? Maybe you should try a coffee place that can spell next time ...

Posted by: s@bd at March 15, 2006 04:16 PM

Well frankly, my man, that's what you get for making Dunkin' Donuts your java stop. :) But I think they could really spice up their image if they added that to their slogan: Dunkin' Donuts - Home of the Soulless Bitches

Posted by: Marilyn at March 16, 2006 03:39 AM