March 24, 2006

Schadenfreude Friday: Short Attention-Span Schadenfreude

First up...spotlight on addiction. Yes, addict of the year, a title formerly held by Robert Downey and Scott Weiland, goes to Babyshambles member (I haven't heard the band but with a name like that, I'm sure they suck) and boyfriend to the ever-clean, sober and pudgy Kate Moss, Pete Doherty. While I hate to poke fun at other's addictions (because, really, I know it's an illness and not something you should mock), I can't help being fascinated by the folks who seem to do everything in their power to unravel themselves, like some bizarre personality-fuelled suicide bomber. Like Doherty, who plead guilty to seven counts of possession, kicked a reporter on his way out of court then shot up in front of Rolling Stone writers during an interview.

"In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Doherty reportedly kicked off the Q&A by downing a veritable buffet of illegal substances. 'Over the next three hours, Doherty will also smoke crack, shoot heroin and take an ecstasy pill,' the New York Post quotes the article as saying. 'He does all of this casually, and openly, except for the shooting up, which he performs near the kitchenette, with his back to us...The more drugs Doherty does, the more he seems to relax. He never becomes incoherent, though occasionally he seems confused.'

Swap Meet

A former participant on the ABC reality TV show "Wife Swap" was arrested for allegedly using his father's identity obtain a luxury car, loans and goods worth $100,000, authorities said on Thursday. Edward Heiss Jr., 50, allegedly used his father's identity to get credit cards and buy a $77,000 BMW, State Police Capt. Stephen Lynch said. Investigators said the spending spree began in 2004 and continued for more than a year.

Swapping wives wasn't enough? Prison will be fun. I hear they have a nice game there - bitch swap.

Will Beretta Fire Again?
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Robert Blake, who is apparently hoping for a comeback.

"I can be an actor no matter what happens. I was in the middle of a job when my father committed suicide and I went to work the next day...I've woken up some nights and wanted to drive till the car goes off a cliff. And an hour later, poetry is coming out of me. I want to go act. I want to go teach. I want to dance.

Poetry. Sing it, Beretta, sing.
"I'd like to give my best performance," Blake said. "I'd like to leave a legacy...I'm not ready for a dog and fishing pole yet. I'd like to go to bed each night desperate to wake up each morning and create some magic."

No dog or fishing pole necessary. A gun and a wife seemed to be all you needed to step back into the spotlight. As for a legacy, well, I think you did just fine. It might not have been what you were going for but sometimes we can't control these things.

Posted by Chris at March 24, 2006 06:54 AM

I am *shocked* at doing drugs in front of the magazines! That's just insane...

Posted by: Emily at March 24, 2006 06:44 AM

Have a great weekend!

Posted by: That Girl at March 24, 2006 07:46 AM

How sad is it that I wasn't shocked by any of this?

Posted by: fauve at March 24, 2006 07:49 AM

It's a strange world afterall, it's a strange, strange world!

Posted by: Wicked H at March 24, 2006 07:59 AM

I love people. Celebrities (or 15-minute-famers like the Wife Swap guy) are so amusing sometimes.

Posted by: amber at March 24, 2006 08:26 AM

"I'd like to give my best performance," Blake said.

I think he already gave that performance during his murder trial.

Posted by: Allan at March 24, 2006 08:36 AM

That was one crazy--LOOK! Something shiny!

Posted by: candace at March 24, 2006 08:56 AM

dance? he wants to DANCE?

Posted by: kalisah at March 24, 2006 08:59 AM

Bwah, bitch swap! That's awesome. That's gonna be cracking me up all day.

But why mock Pete Doherty for the drugs? The name of his band is BABYSHAMBLES! Dude, what the hell is that?

Posted by: Fraulein N at March 24, 2006 09:02 AM

Every time I think I've heard it all...Usually I skip right past these idiots but this was fun in a sick kind of way.

I didn't know anyone except me still remembered Baretta.

Posted by: ann adams at March 24, 2006 09:05 AM

And how many chances, exactly, is Downey Jr. going to get? He cannot get it.

Posted by: angela marie at March 24, 2006 09:11 AM

wow. yeah. that's all i have to say to that. wow. and how sad...

Posted by: suze at March 24, 2006 09:12 AM

Thanks! I really did take pleasure in all that misfortune, and I also now feel better about myself. Because no matter how depressed I am, I know that I'm not nearly the trainwreck these people are. Happy Friday!

Posted by: Jessie at March 24, 2006 09:25 AM

man, the best i could do, if interviewed, is consume mass amounts of junk food.

Posted by: jodi at March 24, 2006 09:36 AM

I just caught the first part of this post before I had to head off to class but Yes, I agree. Addiction is an illness. I have seen it first hand through my father. But someone like Pete shithouse Dougherty gives all other addicts who are trying their damnedest to stay cleanand live sober a really bad name. He's a nutcase and he's on a fast track to River Pheonixville. Even that's giving him too much credit becuae I beleive that River was actually a very intelligent good person. Ok, rant over. Peace out.

Posted by: Bethany at March 24, 2006 09:49 AM

As stupid as it sounds, I always find myself interested in Courtney Love and her latest drug crazed issues. How about the gal from American Pie who threated to molest or kill (or something) her neighbors dogs? I heard that she has drug problems.
I am not sure why this interests me so much. Seems quite silly really.

Posted by: Jamie at March 24, 2006 10:44 AM

Yes, Babyshambles suck - but the Libertines were fucking brilliant! Ah, they were good while they lasted.

Posted by: Zoe at March 24, 2006 12:16 PM

Bitch Swap! Ha!

That's the kind of poetic justice Robert Blake can only dream of acheiving!

Posted by: Vaguely Urban at March 24, 2006 01:09 PM

Hey - I know the upstate NY farm family that was on Wife Swap - not everyone on the show is a loser. ;)
But it's safe to say that everyone you mentioned today is.

Posted by: Traci at March 24, 2006 01:14 PM

Things like this always make me think how it's not money or fame that makes people happy. Perhaps this trend of charity work that seems to be en vogue may help Hollywood and other stars realize they can be happy not snorting something or popping another pill...

Posted by: alektra at March 24, 2006 01:44 PM

Bitch Swap! HA! OMG That is funny as hell! Did you ever see violently drunk Steve-O on the Adam Corolla show? Your Pete and RS part just reminded me of that episode!!

Posted by: Sabrina at March 24, 2006 01:44 PM

Ok, you are really screwing up my lent here. I am really trying to give up schaudenfreude. But these are hilarious. At least I didn't eat meat today.

Posted by: bd at March 24, 2006 02:49 PM