May 08, 2006

Titles Are Overrated

Ahh, yes. Monday. Can't have a week without it, right? I'd be okay if we all gave it a shot, though. Just to find out. Consider it an experiment and call it science. Let's do it next week, though, alright? Because I? Have an insane week and I actually need Monday. How sad is that? In the interest of time (my own and yours), I've provided a few short topics for discussion and comment.

  • The weekend, you ask? The weekend was nice. Way too short, but nice. I trimmed the ol' hedges, poked around the yard, whacked weeds and drilled. And while those are all great euphemisms for other things, I actually did the real things. Sure, not as fun, but productive. During the course of doing all this labor, I somehow managed to sprain myself and now I'm hobbling around like a 90 year old. Good times!
  • You might have read the product demo over at my wife's site. Well, I tried the lube (on my arm people, on the arm!) and it didn't do a damn thing for me. Nothing. You need lube? This ain't the way to go.
  • A few people told me they were surprised that I didn't comment on the grippy, truthy speech given by Stephen Colbert at the National Press Club. I was surprised too until I remembered that I am me and it's pretty pathetic when you are actually able to surprise yourself. I came to the understanding that I was merely lazy. See, I did watch it (and there are links out there to it, so find it and watch it) and I thought it was brilliant. Colbert has the ability to be funnier, but the brilliance was in his bravado. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Colbert must wear some great big pants to hold his giant balls.
  • I have this shirt I like to wear. It has a picture of Dubya on the front with the words "American Psycho" under it. Lots of people smile in my direction when I wear it. Other people shake their heads and refuse to make eye contact. I dropped a bunch of laundry off at the cleaners on Saturday. It's this mom-and-pop Korean cleaners we've been going to for years. The owner looked at me, then looked at my shirt. "That's Bush" she asked. "Yes," I confirmed. She turned to the other employee, pointed at the words on my shirt and, I think, translated their meaning. Then she inquired, "You like Bush?" "Not so much," I replied. At which point they both burst into laughter. I think it was good. I think we shared a laugh at Dubya's expense. But I realize there's the off-chance my shirts will be coming back full of holes.
  • For you Lost're aware of the new, mysterious book just released entitled Bad Twin, right? If you're not, I'll have you know if was written by one Gary Troup, completed just days before he stepped aboard Oceanic Flight 815 never to be heard from again. Interested? I'm 100 pages into it and more than a little captivated myself.
  • Last but not least, Mia can now stand herself up. With the assistance of a stable object, of course. She still hasnít' quite mastered the whole gravity thing yet. It's amazing to think about. Almost 10 months ago, we brought this tiny person home who couldn't do anything except cry and poop. Now, she's standing herself up, getting into absolutely everything, and has developed such a wonderful, unique personality.

Look at me rambling, how are you?

Posted by Chris at May 8, 2006 07:29 AM

It's when she starts running that you have to be afraid. I remember when my baby sister (now 16) went straight from the Army crawl (arm over arm dragging her legs) to running into the corners of coffee tables. She did not pass Go, and she did not collect $200.

I used to babysit for a professor's son and it was mindblowing to see how quickly they change the first couple of years they are alive. I started babysitting him at 3.5 months and stopped at 3.5 years, and it was remarkable. Soon she'll be repeating words, so you better start practicing not swearing! :)

Posted by: DCOE at May 8, 2006 07:50 AM

You know I hate to disagree with you on account of how you always seem to be right (blah) but getting rid of Mondays would only make Tuesdays Mondays and we'd be right back where we started from. Sadly this is a problem, I fear, that cannot be solved. Or, at least, can only be solved by an island, fruity tropical drinks, a hot sun and palm fronds swaying in the breeze. I think you know what I'm getting at.

Posted by: pea at May 8, 2006 08:17 AM

When I was a little younger I thought a weekend hanging out at home doing yard work sucked. Now I'm just grateful if there aren't 43 errands to accomplish after church. It seems as I'm scheduled to the hilt for every Sunday for the rest of my life. So I understand that you may have enjoyed yard work -despite the hobbling.

Stephen Colbert -I fell in love with him after reading about his bit with the Bushes. I can't believe Bush has as much as a 33% approval rating. What?!?! Are they targeting retarded people for these polls? I can't imagine 100 people from anywhere in the US approving of him and his policies. *Shaking head* What does it take to wake America up?

I love that your Korean cleaners were tickled by your shirt.

I'm not familiar with Lost. Does the book have anything to do with the show, or is it just that Gary Troupe wrote it?

Isn't it so exciting when the baby starts standing? I walked into the room on Friday and found Vincent standing up in the crib. It's both exciting and scary, because now there are so many more ways for him to get into things and/or get hurt.

Posted by: HR Mommy at May 8, 2006 08:18 AM

Dude - I gotta agree. Enjoy the amazement of standing, but realize that she'll be running soon. I am somewhat glad it is Monday because it means back at work and some relaxation!

I love my little girl (21 mos) and am amazed by everything new she does (like, 5 things a day rate) and love to spend time with her and love how she's attached to me.

That being said, two straight days with her is EXHAUSTING. I think because she doesn't see me as much as mommy during the week (plus, hey, dads are for fun and silliness!), she wants daddy to do everything on the weekend.

And she moves faster and is not as light as she used to be!

Posted by: Kaz at May 8, 2006 08:24 AM

once she figures out that gravity thing there will be no stopping her!

Posted by: suze at May 8, 2006 08:59 AM

Colbert said it for all of us and the MSM is trying to pretend it didn't happen. (Except for a guy named Doug Elfman in the Sun-Times who has a pair almost as big as Colbert's).

Still almost two more years.

I've been reading you just for a month or two now and Mia has changed so much in just that time. It's great fun watching her through your eyes.

Posted by: ann adams at May 8, 2006 09:06 AM

You'll have to tell me more about Bad Twin when you finish it - is it a hokey marketing ploy on the part of the producers of Lost or does it add another layer to the whole mystery of the island?

Posted by: Beth in StL at May 8, 2006 09:29 AM

From standing to running - you know that's how it happens, right? (Both of my kids were full-fledged walking and running by 10 months and it was insane!)
And I see your taste in T-shirts is as good as your taste in music. ;)

Posted by: Traci at May 8, 2006 09:32 AM

Before I got to where you referred to how you know the things listed under the first bullet are great euphemisms, I was going to leave some smart-ass comment about said euphemisms. Oh well. It was probably still all very tiring, so I hope you got plenty of rest to recouperate from all that hard work. (hehe - hard work) (I so have the mind of a 12 year old, gah!)

Posted by: Jessie at May 8, 2006 09:32 AM

The Stephen Colbert thing? Ballsy. I sat there w/ my mouth open, amazed that he'd say those things with the president just feet away. I loved how he shook the president's hand at the end, and for a second there, I thought Dubya might kill him.... The only thing that I didn't find as funny was the video at the end. I mean... the speech could have done w/o it... and been just as funny. Oh well...
Plus, I love the t-shirt story. I have a feeling they were laughing WITH you at Dubya.

Posted by: Corinne at May 8, 2006 09:42 AM

Thanks for the book heads up! Little known weird fact about me - I adore yard work. So when your doing it you can think to yourself - right now, That girl is envying me.
Happy Monday!

Posted by: That Girl at May 8, 2006 09:59 AM

In Euphaism speak- Spraining your self is bad.

Posted by: Bill at May 8, 2006 10:11 AM

I'm smiling at your American Psycho shirt!

I thought the Stephen Colbert speech was funny, but I too was more impressed that he had the balls to go in there and say all that right in front of Bush. And the way he called the press on the fact that they pretty much give the Bush administration a pass on many issues.

I can't believe it has been almost 10 months since Mia was born. Where did the last year go?

Posted by: bad penguin at May 8, 2006 10:17 AM

Jessie's comment turns out to be just about what I was going to write. No need to repeat, huh?

Posted by: JuJu's Mom Linda at May 8, 2006 10:27 AM

Sounds like fun...I'm still tired from being at guards all weekend. *Yawn*

Posted by: Ginny at May 8, 2006 10:34 AM

Crap. 10 months already?? I know I keep saying this but next time you know it's going to be high school graduation for the Bean.

Lost: Gary Troupe = Purgatory. Yeah...that's real brilliant. (Does this mean you're all up to date on Lost and we could discuss last week's WTF episode??)

Colbert: I LOVE the man. Yes, he must have a set of giant brass balls. In the same tradition that I love Jon Stewart hosting the Oscar.

Posted by: oakley at May 8, 2006 11:13 AM

sure it was on your arm....

ga! i can't believe Mia's standing! by herself!! insane. she's totally not a baby anymore! it's totally one of those total bittersweet moments. it's amazing to see her do all these grown-up things and so sad to see that she's a person in her own right. crazy.

is it wrong that i don't hate mondays???

Posted by: ali at May 8, 2006 11:46 AM

I am fine. Thanks for asking. I informed my husband quite some time ago that Stephen Colbert is my new boyfriend. He seemed fine with it. The husband's got one of the "not my president" t-shirts with Dubya's face on it. It still gives us a good laugh when people stare at it. We live in Texas, mind you.

Posted by: catbird at May 8, 2006 12:09 PM

"Gary Troup" - anagram for "purgatory" (Chris - you spelled the "author's" name wrong - no "e"). Discuss.

Posted by: Jason at May 8, 2006 12:23 PM

- Oh yard work. It awaits me. I am not quite ready. Next week.
- Disappointing about the lube.
- Colbert does indeed wear the "big boy" pants. When I first showed the speech to mein Hublein, he thought it couldn't possibly be real. The extent to which it was just "shoved under the rug" is amazing. Ok, maybe not amazing...almost damned near expected, actually...but too bad.
- Your "American Psycho" shirt sounds great!!
- Don't know about the "Lost" - I must admit that I don't watch that show at all. In fact, I've never even seen a snippet.*
- Mia's standing?! WOOHOO! :)

*I just wanted to use the word 'snippet' but I've seriously never seen the show. This footnote is unnecessary. Yeah.

Posted by: Kristina at May 8, 2006 12:41 PM

god, I remember the first time My Kid pulled himself to standing. He was in his crib, and I had turned my back to get something out of his closet. When I turned back around, he was standing up and grinning ear to ear at me. He was SO PROUD of what he'd done. I grabbed a camera sitting on his dresser and snapped a photo. It still makes me smile.

Posted by: kalisah at May 8, 2006 12:49 PM

I can't beleive how fast this first year of Mia's life is flying by. And that's so exciting that she's standing... Yeay Mia!

Posted by: Lisa B at May 8, 2006 02:48 PM

I am with you on the Monday thing. Where do I sign up?

Posted by: Melissa at May 8, 2006 03:05 PM

I've been trying to rally the troupes forever to join me in fighting for a three day weekend: Saturday, Sunday and a get-shit-done day. :)

Posted by: Jill at May 8, 2006 03:13 PM

I think I need that Dubya shirt. LOL

Posted by: Sabrina at May 8, 2006 03:27 PM

I agree Colbert has some BIG balls. I enjoyed it but I don't think Colbert had a good night. He messed up one joke so bad that he started laughing and made a joke about his mistake.

Posted by: johnny steel at May 8, 2006 04:32 PM

Sounds like a busy weekend. I cleaned the closet (literally not figuratively -- that would take more than a weekend.)

I'm fine though... did I mention I'm going to see Pearl Jam tomorrow?


Posted by: Nat at May 8, 2006 05:52 PM

I read that as "titties are overrated"

to which i say, no they are not!

Posted by: Stacey at May 8, 2006 10:28 PM