May 09, 2006

Meetings, And Dinner Guests

I have to make this fast. I have to be in downtown Washington DC for a meeting at nine which means that I should have been on the road by, oh, about 5:30 this morning. That's particularly sad when coupled with the fact that I only have to drive 12 miles. I shit you not. You'd think I have to drive to DC by way of Tibet. Anyway, I have to go be all important and shit despite the fact that I had to be all important and shit yesterday. I have to keep up the act for a couple of days because - and I'm not exagerating here - I'm scheduled to spend, at minimum, 15 hours in meetings this week.

Okay. I'm late. Gotta run. Talk amongst yourselves. The topic? If you could invite any five people, living or dead, over for dinner, who'd you want to dine with.

Posted by Chris at May 9, 2006 06:02 AM

Five people...hmm. Freddie Mercury, Sir William Cecil the Secretary of State to Elizabeth I, Queen Noor and the author Ken Grimwood. I have questions for all of them.

Posted by: Nic at May 9, 2006 06:42 AM

1) Mark Twain

2) My maternal Grandfather and my paternal Grandmother. Who count as one entity named Relative I Never Got To Meet and Wish I Had, Because By All Accounts, They Were Both a Hoot. So I still have three left.

3) John Wayne

4) Benjamin Franklin

5) Elvis

Posted by: Contrary at May 9, 2006 07:37 AM

My Dad -to ask him why he did some of the awful things he did and how he feels about it now that he's dead, My Nana and Gramps, because I really miss them, My good friend Pat who died last year from cancer -to tell her how much she meant to me and how badly I feel that I was too self-involved with my pregnancy to spend more time with her, and Jesus -cuz I have so MANY questions that only he could answer.

Posted by: HR Mommy at May 9, 2006 07:39 AM

my gramma, my grampa, my two uncles, and Jesus (all currently deceased).

Posted by: RzDrms at May 9, 2006 07:40 AM

This is going to be uber-difficult to narrow down on short notice, the list could change in an hour...
1. Bono
2. Albert Einstein
3. Paul Westerberg
4. Martin Luther King
5. Lester Bangs

Posted by: JuJu's Mom Linda at May 9, 2006 07:42 AM

Ewww, I don't think I'd want ANY dead people over for dinner.

Posted by: Karen at May 9, 2006 08:05 AM

Wow - I have to drive 8 miles to work, and allow 20 minutes for the commute. What a difference.

Only one meeting for me this whole week. And it's not one I have to grit my teeth for.

Hope all yours go smoothly, and you come out the hero.

Posted by: cas at May 9, 2006 08:06 AM

The pressure of 5 people is just too much, so I'll just mention one. And if you dont watch Prison Break, (and you should!), then you might not know him. I would invite over T-Bag. And demand he come in character.

Posted by: alfredsmom at May 9, 2006 08:42 AM

1) My paternal grandfather
2) My ex's relatives
3) Apolo Anton Ohno
4) Gioconda Belli
5) Neruda
6) Borges

Posted by: Katherine at May 9, 2006 08:49 AM

1. Alexander Hamilton
2. Thomas Jefferson.
Those two hated each other and it would be fun to watch them go back and forth.
3. Jesus. Well because he is Jesus and he could mediate between # 1 and #2
4. Michael Keaton
5. David Letterman

Posted by: Bill at May 9, 2006 08:58 AM

1) Mr. Rogers
2) Harper Lee
3) E.B. White
4) Mel Brooks & Anne Bancroft
5) Lucille Ball
6) Leonardo DaVinci

I was never very good with limits.

Posted by: wordgirl at May 9, 2006 09:02 AM

Ok, here ya go...

1)J.D. Salinger
2)Billie Holiday
3)Angus Fraser
4)Siouxsie Sioux
5)Sharon Kay Penman

Posted by: amber at May 9, 2006 09:02 AM

hmmm. my ideal dinner party:

1. well, HR mommy took this one, but I too would invite Jesus, simply to get the story from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

2. Martin Luther King Jr. - My dad's a big fan and even had an RCMP record for attending one of his rallies. I'd be interested in meeting this man who died long before I was born, but who was such an oft-quoted presence in my childhood home.

3. Tori Amos - because the woman rocks. and I think she and Jesus would have an interesting discussion that I'd love to eavesdrop on...

4. Elton John - because he could provide entertainment post dinner (with all his old hits, not the new stuff, and dear god not the stuff from the musical Lestat!) and during dinner (with all his outrageous life stories).

5. and wow, I'm having a hard time coming up with a hard to choose...

So I think I'd pick my paternal grandmother. She developed severe alzheimers when I was 13 and died when I was 17, so I never really got to know her. And from what I'm told, she was a pretty nifty lady. I have lovely memories of her from my childhood, but I'd love to be able to have an adult conversation with her, the woman she was before the disease took over and left us with someone whom when we saw her, was only capable of giggling with my little brother and had no idea who we were...

Posted by: suze at May 9, 2006 09:06 AM

Ok, I'm going to pick 5 bloggers instead that I would have over for dinner.

1. Miss Zoot
2. Amalah
3. RockstarMommy
4. Rude Cactus
5. dooce

And since all of these bloggers have young babies/kids, they are expected to bring them with so that I can gobble cheeks.

Posted by: Carrisa at May 9, 2006 09:09 AM

1. My birth father
2. Mom
3. Dad
4. Paternal grandfather (never met him)
5. siter (dragonlady)

All are deceased with the exception of my sister.

Posted by: MrsJoseGoldbloom at May 9, 2006 09:09 AM

1)Paternal Grandparents since they died when I was young.
2) Jesus
3,4,5 I have no idea.

Good luck with your meeting today! I can't believe you have to leave at 5:30 for a 12 mile commute! That's insane!

Posted by: Sabrina at May 9, 2006 09:49 AM

1. Manolo Blahnik
hopefully he would bring me a lovely, 4-inch stiletto-heeled hostess gift

2. Isaac Mizrahi
so charming and cute and funny and entertaining

3. Kate Winslet
who always looks FABULOUS

4. Bobbie Brown
because what fun is a dinner party without MAKEOVERS??

5. Carrie Bradshaw
What? Not a real person? SHUT UP.

Posted by: kalisah at May 9, 2006 09:49 AM

First, can you bike to work or are the roads too dangerous?

1. My dad.
2. Albert Einstein.
3. Tom Hanks.
4. FDR.
5. Trent Reznor.

We'd have Chicken Parmesean, by the way.

Posted by: Brad at May 9, 2006 10:07 AM

1. Madonna
2. Salma Hayek
3. Howard Zinn
4. Jane Austen
5. Colin Firth

Posted by: pea at May 9, 2006 10:30 AM

15 hours of meetings?! Ewwww... It would be great if you got 'punchy' enough from all the meetings that you started doing things like showing up with a flashing bowtie, or fake rotting teeth. I know that won't happen, but it's fun to imagine...heehee!

5 people for's difficult...

1. My farfar (paternal grandfather) who passed away a few years ago.
2. My husband, who is still alive but who I'd want with me and who would love to see my farfar again too.

That would be it, I think...I'm being totally selfish here: I wouldn't want to invite anyone else because I'd want to actually be able to talk to my grandfather again, and say all the things I 'almost-but-didn't' say before he died suddenly.

Posted by: Kristina at May 9, 2006 10:31 AM

Ok... 5 people...

1) My paternal grandfather, cause I think my kids would love him and he would love them... (I think that's where they get their sense of humor!)

2) My Gram... just cause I miss her so very much!

3) All the mom's from my online mommy group... cause there are so many that I haven't met.

4) Jesus, cause yeah, I have questions...

5) Um... Let's see... Oh, the prez.. but I would feed him truth serum, and then ask him what the hell he thinks he's doing!

Ok... so, that was pretty tough... like did I want to meet people cause I liked them, or for other reasons?

Oh well, there's my list... hope the meetings go well, and hubby used to do the commute from woodbridge to DC... he now lives with me in lovely bawlmer, and his commute is actually the same... go figure.

Posted by: Karen at May 9, 2006 10:33 AM

1. My paternal grandfather, who died when my dad was 16. I would like to have the chance to know him.
2. Dennis Quaid - just because he keeps getting better with age.
3. Adam Sandler because he amuses me to no end. And he must sing while there, particularly the Chanukah Song and the Lunchlady song.
4. Bono because he does amazing things and makes amazing music. And he makes people think. What more do you need to spark good dinner conversation.
5. My mom - because even when she annoys me, she still rocks.

Posted by: Traci at May 9, 2006 10:37 AM

George W Bush, Saddam Hussein, Usama Bin Laden, Jack Bauer, and my mom. Mom is cooking and making sure everyone is comfy, then she is going to get to the bottom of this WMD, terrorist link stuff and if not, Jack is going to kill everyone and we are going to bury the bodies in the back yard and go on with our little lives without thinking about that shit anymore.

Posted by: linda at May 9, 2006 10:58 AM

well, i'd invite you, if it would help you get out of those gross meetings. blech.

Posted by: jodi at May 9, 2006 10:59 AM

That's a hard one.
But, of course:
1) Jack Bauer - b/c he kicks ass but can be totally nice and respectful
2) John the apostle or maybe Jesus - still deciding between those two
3) My maternal grandmother b/c I miss her terribly and spring makes me think about her
4) Cesar Chavez - the union organizer, not the boxer. Dad got to meet him but I never did. He's been my hero since high school.
5) My brother

I realize this is a very male centered crowd so I would have to think about that a bit more but it sounds like fun.

Posted by: hannah at May 9, 2006 11:27 AM

Dude, traffic sucks. I effing hate that. Clearly, though, with 5 people, the trio of chicks from BANANARAMA, Chrissie Hynde (she'll bring the drugs), and Marvin Hamlisch are the group to have. What ever the rest of you say is clearly wrong.

Posted by: andy at May 9, 2006 11:36 AM

Here's my five:
-My paternal grandfather and maternal grandmother, whom I never had the privelege of meeting.
-Oprah Winfrey
-Clay Aiken (yes that's right, you can laugh)
-Mr. & Mrs. Cactus
-Chelsea Handler (comedien)

Posted by: Dana at May 9, 2006 11:49 AM

NOT David Blaine. Can I nominate him for Schadenfreude Friday?

Posted by: Nicole at May 9, 2006 12:01 PM

Lord, I'm about to expose just what a big dork I am...

1. Gregory Corso--beat poet (dead)
2. Felix Gonzalez-Torres--hispanic-american installation artist (dead)
3. Milan Kundera--Czech writer (alive)
4. My grandma (alive, awesome)
5. Jenny Holzer--artist (alive)

Posted by: samantha at May 9, 2006 12:31 PM

1. Dave Matthews (so alive, so hot)
2. Matt Nathanson (alive, musician, insanely funny)
3. Howie Day (alive, musician, only so I can beat him with a frying pan)
4. Neil Peart (alive, musician, my old-man boyfriend)
5. CARL KASELL (omgwtf!)

Posted by: Rhonda at May 9, 2006 12:45 PM

1. Jesus Christ
2. Pat Robertson
3. The Pope (the new guy)
4. Joseph Smith (of Mormon fame)
5. Mohammad the prophet

Topic: "Ok people, lets get on the same page."

Posted by: Elfdaddy at May 9, 2006 12:45 PM

1) Howard Stern
2) Ayn Rand
3) Golda Meir
4) Nelson Mandela and,
5) Tupac

If nothing else, just the mix of people alone would make for an interesting evening! :)

Posted by: Jill at May 9, 2006 12:59 PM

My five: Hitler, Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, Atilla the Hun, and George Bush (not dead but we can wish). Anyway I would get them all in one room and start off by telling Atilla that Bush called him a poopy head. Then I would tell Stalin that Mao is looking at him funny. All this while I made Hitler read aloud from the Koran. Oh what fun it would be!

Posted by: Jeff A at May 9, 2006 01:05 PM

1) My son who died the day he was born.
2) My grandma (my mom's mom)who died two days after buying my wedding gown.
3) My great-grandma. She was one incredibly cool lady. She could sit at the table and supervise/direct the cooking just like she did in the years before she died.
4) My mom, because I am sure she misses the above-mentioned as much as I do.
5) My 14 year old son, because he would love to meet his big brother.

Part of me thinks I should go for the big ticket guests like Jesus, but I am not sure that I would want to/be able to continue life as we know it here on earth if he shared all the answers to the mysteries of life with me.

Posted by: Jaycie at May 9, 2006 01:39 PM

Five dinner guests:
My dad-he's been gone about three years.
His dad-gosh grandpa was a hoot.
My other grandpa-mom's dad, he thought whatever I cooked was FANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTastic!
Martina McBride-love the way she sings and shit, I'm not going to be the only girl there.
My buddy KB-now this one ties it all together...the first four are musicians..great ones. KB is a professional musician we are definitely gonna jam after dinner...

Which by the way will be roast, carrots, mashed potatoes, gravy, hot rolls, carrot cake(for daddy) and lemon meringue pie for pappy.

GOSH THAT WOULD BE GREAT. Rude, come on over, jam with us.... it's gonna be great.

Posted by: the speckledpup at May 9, 2006 02:00 PM

hmm...good one

1. Nelson Mandela
2. Bono
3. Mr. and Mrs. Cactus-Fish
4. Sting
5. Pierre Trudeau

I wonder what we'd talk about

Posted by: wn at May 9, 2006 02:03 PM

1. Wife's Mom (chance to meet her grand-daughter)
2. Jim Henson (he would bring the muppet)
3. Jack Black (he would bring the crazy)
4. Willie Nelson (he would bring the pot)
5. Ben Olsen (after the world cup)

Sorry not going to invite any bloggers. They spend why too much time on the computer and that's odd. Almost as odd as responding to blogs.

Posted by: rwhgeek at May 9, 2006 02:38 PM

John Lennon
George Harrison
Paul McCartney
Ringo Starr

I'd invite Jesus too, but seems the rest of the bunch have him marked on their agendas. So if any of you guys get a chance can you ask him what did he and all the Apostles talk about during The Last Supper?
Last but not least........My Husband...XOXOXOXO

Posted by: Jennifer at May 9, 2006 02:46 PM

1) Joaquin Phoenix
2)David Boreanaz
3) Marc Blucas
4) The guy that waters the plants at my office (hott!)
5) Whoever I hire to hold the camera

Posted by: fauve at May 9, 2006 03:40 PM

"5) Whoever I hire to hold the camera" LMAO. I like you, whoever you are. Maybe we can share a gutter? Because I was thinking:

1. Orlando Bloom
2. Hugh Jackman ("Wolverine" on XMen)
3. Josh Holloway ("Sawyer" on Lost)
4. Johnny Depp
5. Freud (Cause I'm kinky like that)

Posted by: Tink at May 9, 2006 03:53 PM

I'd probably go with Albert Einstein, William Shakespeare, Isaac Newton, Buddha, and my cousin who died of leukemia last year. He would probably kick me for not inviting Tolkien though. Hmm. So maybe him instead of Newton.

Posted by: Gavin at May 9, 2006 04:05 PM

Wait! If I had the option of drugging the "5-person-only" bouncer at the door, I'd also sneak in John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, C.S. Lewis, Jesus if he could make it (after all the other dinner parties), and Kenneth Galbraith because he was hardcore funny (and "truthy") and he died last week.

Posted by: Gavin at May 9, 2006 04:13 PM

I'm going the blogger way too.. :)

Ava (things of venom)

But.. we'd have to go out for dinner.. because my house is a mess!

Posted by: molly at May 9, 2006 04:39 PM

1. Jesus (I know, busy man, but the whole omnipresent God thing should help with that.) I have so many questions about what things might have been lost in translation.
2. C.S. Lewis - Love the books, want to ask him what he thinks of the movie.
3. J.R.R. Tolkien - Same things, plus he and Lewis were buds.
4. Tim McGraw - I like his music, but most of all, I hear he's a very good producer, and I'd like to work with him. Also, I'd get to make fun of his hat head when he took off his Stetson for dinner. (and I hope he brings Faith.)
5. My friend D. He'd help chill me out when I was freaking about everything having to be absolutely perfect. And make me laugh.

Posted by: Heather at May 9, 2006 05:11 PM

i LOVE this question...but it's so hard to choose:

1. Jesus - so i could find out what he REALLY wanted to tell us
2. Lucille Ball - DUH, she was sheer genius and would liven up the party
3. Oprah Winfrey - hopefully some of her drive would rub off on me
4. Someone who worked on the pyramids
5. Young Jimmy Stewart - ha cha-cha-cha

Posted by: Sarcomical at May 9, 2006 05:23 PM

1. Hitler
2. Bill Gates
3. Oprah Winfrey
4. Jimmy Buffet
5. Rush Limbaugh

Now. What's the menu?

Posted by: Pammer at May 9, 2006 06:16 PM

1. Paramahansa Yogananda
2. Jesus
3. My Granny (deceased)
4. Mom (Living)
5. Maya Angelo

Posted by: Shannon at May 9, 2006 06:38 PM

(i reserve the right to change this at any given time because i haven't actually *thought* about this, i'm just gonna type the first people who come to mind...)

1.) ghandi
2.) maynard from tool
3.) jenna jameson
4.) edward gorey
5.) edgar allan poe

Posted by: master b. at May 9, 2006 08:02 PM

No judgement here, but I can totally see why Hitler and Rush Limbaugh would be at the same dinner party. But the others?

Posted by: wordgirl at May 9, 2006 10:29 PM

Eddie Izzard
Kevin Smith
Carson Kressley

and for fun, let's add Heather Armstrong (Dooce)

Posted by: Bethany at May 9, 2006 11:30 PM

Tink ... can I please join your dinner group? ;-D

1 - My paternal grandmother. I was hoping to get to know her better when I grow older but she died before I could actually do that.

2 & 3 - The Jolie-Pitt. Angelina is my hero and I will always love Brad. (The kids can come too.)

4 - Shakespeare.

5 - King Chulalongkorn (Rama V). The king who westernized Thailand. And my grandmother's uncle.

That ought to make the dinner interesting. :)

Posted by: Oakley at May 10, 2006 01:24 AM

I would invite my best friend Chad, my friends Brent, Lisa, and Heidi. I would also invite Alexander the Great, Queen Elizabeth the First, and Leonardo De Vinci. I know I cheated, but my friends are few and far between and I donít want to leave them out of anything.

Posted by: Red at May 10, 2006 09:30 AM

Oh yeah, I would also invite the biological parents of my mother. I want a family tree of them and no one knows who they are.

Posted by: Red at May 10, 2006 09:31 AM

Only five??? OK, but I want to invite more....

1 ~ Maternal Grandpa. He died before I became "me", plus I want him to know my husband, he would have LOVED him

2 ~ Got to invite my husband (see #1)

3 ~ Mary Magdeline, since Jesus is so busy

4 ~ Gilda Radner ~ what a loss that was

5 ~ Georgia O'Keefe

On standby would be: Jesus (just in case he could make it) my friend Diane, if Jesus and/or Mary could make it, she's very religous, Michelle, who was murdered years ago and was very cool, my photography instructor, Sara, who is brilliant and also very cool, and my nieces, so they could get to know some wonderful people besides their aunt (wink)

Posted by: Dawn at May 10, 2006 12:47 PM

1) Bill Clinton. I've read many stories about him and one thing seems clear - he is a man of charm and wit. I would like to assume he would not only entertain, but educate. He appears to have a vast knowledge and hunger for a wide variety of information. And yet, he appears to be very down-to-earth. I'm sure he'd break out the thesaurus when speaking with big words that I don't understand. And he wouldn't make me feel stupid about it either.
2) Maya Angelou comes to mind as someone I'd like to eat with. Mostly because I consider her book "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" to be one of my favorites. And considering she has her own cookbook - she might be able to help me in the kitchen.
3) John Lennon. Man, I bet that guy has some stories. Assuming he remembers them.... I imagine (ha! "imagine"! get it?) he'd even play with my hair as I sit on his lap. He would tell triumphant stories of the human spirit and we'd all have a good chuckle.
4) For #4 I've decided on my husband. Not that I can't have dinner with him every night of the week - but I choose him because I can't imagine having the kind of night that is sure to unfold without him. I would want him to witness it for himself. That way, when we're old and gray we can sit on our porch swing and laugh about the braids that John put in my hair.
5) This last one has been lingering in the back of my mind. Should I say it? Should I not? But I've decided that I will NOT be ashamed of my choice. And (drumroll please) #5 goes to: Johnny Depp. Now before you roll your eyes, hear me out. He has persevered through the tirades of Hollywood without selling his soul and is leading a life that he seems to be proud of. Okay fine, I didn't expect you to buy that lame excuse anyway. I admit it. I just want to look at him. Is that so wrong?

Posted by: Amaya at May 10, 2006 07:46 PM

Wow, I've been busy so I'm just now getting to this one. This is tough, but here are my five:

1. Jesus - just to clear some shit up
2. Siddhartha - same reason
3. Muhammed - see above
4. Abraham - ditto
5. Seymour Hirsh to report on the dinner

If I could only pick one, though, it would be my maternal grandmother who died when I was almost nine.

Posted by: Beth in StL at May 10, 2006 11:27 PM

I'm a little late on this, but I want to play...However, I need two lists--one for those I actually know/knew/am related to and those that I would love to meet.

Those I know/knew/am related to:
1. Mum Mum, because I miss her terribly
2. Pappy, same reason
3. Karen, Same reason
4. My grandfather...because I never met him
5. Uncle Carl...because I never met him and he sounds like an amazing guy

Those I've never met:
1. Shakespeare
2. Jesus (or God if Jesus is tied up going to all of your dinner parties)
3. Mother Theresa
4. James Dean
5. Jimmy Buffett
I understand that is an eclectic group, but imagine the interesting conversations that may result...besides, I'm an eclectic kind of girl. :-)

Posted by: Krush at May 10, 2006 11:36 PM

1. Andy Warhol
2. Jackie Kennedy
3. Kurt Vonnegut
4 Steve Jobs
5. Audrey Hepburn

Posted by: Janet at May 11, 2006 12:04 AM

1) My mom, dad, and sister (now that they live far away dinner with them is special)
2) Martin Gore (He writes 90%+ of the Depeche Mode songs and definately all the ones I like, he has an interesting view on the world)
3) Ayn Rand (Her books changed my view of life)
4) Peter Gabriel (His music stirs my soul)
5) (dead) My Aunt Hazel (She passed away two years ago this June and I still miss her terribly)
5) (alive) The man I have recently fallen in love with, we aren't at the point where I can tell him that, but I think I have realized that I might want to have dinner with him for the rest of my life.

Posted by: goodsnake at May 11, 2006 07:03 AM

Ann Adams

Ms. Lori

George Orwell

You (yeah, I know. Suck up)

George Bush.

...Yeah. Bet that last one makes you do a double take - my hatred of George Bush (as well as my own so-called government leader) is pretty well known.

Well, see, I figure I'm only allowed 5, which means old Georgy boy'll have to come alone and unprotected.

And then I plan along with my four other guests to beat the shit out of him, humiliate him in every sordid way possible and film it live so the entire televised world can enjoy it.

Oh, and could you bring some snacks?
That way, everything's covered;

You provide the snacks, Ms. Lori will provide the drink, Ann will provide some good ol' American dishes, I will provide the venue and good old George will provide the entertainment.

Perfect combination for an enjoyable evening.

Posted by: Alice at May 12, 2006 06:42 AM

Oh, yeah, and I forgot to mention; George Orwell will provide some insight as to how he managed to predict what is most likely going to be our fucking future.

Good ol' G. O....

Posted by: Alice at May 12, 2006 06:44 AM