May 19, 2006

Schadenfreude Friday: Can't Buy Me Love

Today I bring you two very obvious stories of heartache and woe. I just couldn't decide which was worse.

Oops, She Did It Again

Front-page photographs in Tuesday's New York Post and New York Daily News depict the 24-year-old pregnant pop star driving her convertible Mini Cooper with 8-month-old son Sean Preston in the back, sitting in a car seat facing forward. The photos — in which Spears also sports hair curlers — have sparked debate over whether the singer violated the California vehicle code. In February, authorities visited Spears' home after photos showed her driving in a car with the baby on her lap, rather than in a safety seat as required by law. Spears later apologized, saying she held the boy because of an encounter with paparazzi.

Is there any doubt that Britney is now the poster-child for stupid celebrities who should not reproduce? I mean, this shocks no one, right? Please tell me none of your are surprised. I've always thought that people should be given tests prior to attempting to have a child. I shall now use this as my argument. Can you imagine all the therapy this kid is going to have to have?

She Loves You...Yeah, Yeah, Uh-huh...

Former Beatle Paul McCartney could lose up to a quarter of his estimated $1.56-billion fortune after separating from his second wife Heather Mills, legal experts said on Thursday. That would equate to roughly $1.9 million for every week of their short-lived four-year marriage. McCartney, 63, and former model Mills, 38, announced their separation on Wednesday, blaming media intrusion for the collapse of one of the most high profile showbusiness marriages. Lawyers believe the divorce would never be allowed to degenerate into a messy court case but they said McCartney's decision not to seal a pre-nuptial deal could cost him dear in a private settlement.

Bottle of Just For Men hair coloring? Check
Little nip and tuck action? Check
Mind-boggling fortune? Right-oh
Prenup? Oops!

When you're worth over $1.5 billion dollars, how is it possible you don't have a prenup? Love, trust, faith and all that shit but that's billion with a capital b. Paul, you've written some great music and you're a talented guy but you're also a colossal dumbass. You've got a few hard days' nights ahead of you, day tripper. She's got her ticket to ride and she's leaving home, but perhaps you can work it out. Tomorrow never knows...

Now I leave it up to you...who have I missed this week?

Posted by Chris at May 19, 2006 06:47 AM

I think that about covers all the good stuff this week. Great post and it made me laugh with your use of the songs. Genius!

The McCartneys are blaming the press for their split. I'm sure Britney feels the press is involved in her downfall too.

Can I blame the press on my husband's speeding ticket? Just because?

Have a great day!


Posted by: Shash at May 19, 2006 06:55 AM

Well, the President DID address the nation this week -an already hated man interrupting the Prime Time line up struck me as a little stupid.

But I also say how do you know when George is doing something stupid? He's breathing.

Posted by: HR Mommy at May 19, 2006 07:05 AM

Britney spears kills me. She never can seem to get her poop in a group. Before she and K-Fed got married, she talked about wanting to start a family immediately. "I'm gonna be a hot mom," she said. Well to me - a hot mom and a good mom are two totally different things, and if I had to pick, I'd want to make sure my babies were not falling out of high chairs or facing the wrong way in car seats.

As for Paul - what WAS he thinking?!

Posted by: Emily at May 19, 2006 07:08 AM

I thought the front facing car seat was based on weight, not age? But who knows? The hair curlers are unpardonable!!

Posted by: Amber at May 19, 2006 07:11 AM

I just saw him speaking with David Brinkley. David Brinkley told him that his approval (disapproval?) rating is now one point BELOW Nixon's and asked him why he thinks that is. G.W. said it's because we're just "unsettled" in a time of war.

*shaking head* I think he deserves an honorary PERMANENT WEEKLY SPOT in Schadenfreud Friday.


Posted by: HR Mommy at May 19, 2006 07:14 AM

I was a little saddened by Paul and Heather's break-up. I had hoped that she was NOT like I suspicioned. They claim she is a publicity hound and called the press herself after her leg was lost in an accident.

The pre-nup? Paul was quoted as saying, "that isn't very romantic." Obviously, all the blood had run to another organ besides Paul's brain.

Britney? I blame the doctors who delivered the first baby. They should have tied her tubes while they were in there.

Posted by: Debbie at May 19, 2006 07:27 AM

You know what? It's Friday and I've got a three day weekend in my very near future. I can find no hate, nor scorn, nor schadenfreude for my fellow man. Sorry, Dude. I'll do better next Friday when I have to work all weekend.

Posted by: Contrary at May 19, 2006 07:35 AM

Not signing a prenup was a bit shortsighted, yes, but please, so what if she's getting a quarter of whatever he's worth? He's still going to be rolling in the money and if he cared a wit about it, he would have gotten the silly paper signed I think. Kind of hard for me to dredge up any feelings, negative or otherwise, about his troubles this morning, even if I do love me some Beatles.

Girly-girl on the other hand: She's a freaking idiot and I said it before she ever decided to reproduce. Forget therapy. Poor kids will be lucky if they just manage to get to their 20s without any major accidents. Good lord.

Posted by: pea at May 19, 2006 07:42 AM

Unlike other celebrities I always see britney with her kid, everywhere and I have never seen her have a nanny. Imagine how hard it must be to be her and have a baby and all the media around her. I bet taking care of a child is much much difficult than any other thing in this world. Do I like Britney? NO! Do I think she has made some bad choices? Maybe. However, I do feel that parenting is super hard and the she might just need help. Afterall, my mom loves me dearly but once dropped me on my head (big hospital stay), another time she left me at a store, and another time she locked me in the car (well, I have a little to do with that). My point? Well, it aint easy taking care of a baby. Imaginde doing so while a celebrity.

As For dear Paul he can start kissing goodbye to some all his precious millions. Life is a bitch some times. Do I feel bad for him having to lose some millions? Not the least. But hey I might be because I barely make any money in my non-profit sector.

Bye the way Chris ...Do you donate to the Aids walk? Would care to Donate to my institution. Let me know and I will send you a link to it and tell more about it.

dammm... I didnt mean for this post to be so long.

Posted by: Katherine at May 19, 2006 07:50 AM

He's worth 1.5 billion dollars? Is it possible he didn't sign a prenup because he doesn't care? Heck, he could lose 75% of it and still be rolling in $$ for the rest of his days!

Britney, well... there are no words. Unfortunately, she's stupid. Even more unfortunately, she's famous. There are lots of people as stupid (and even more so) that live right here in my hometown. I see them every day. It may be a good thing she's driving around with that baby facing forward. Now it will be all over the news that you're not supposed to do that, and the folks that really didn't realize it can correct their mistakes.

Posted by: Alissa at May 19, 2006 07:59 AM

With Britney all I have to say is that you can take the girl out of the trailer park but sometimes you can't take the trailer park out of the girl.

Poor Paul. I really hoped he could have found happiness after Linda died. But you're completely right - no prenup was just insane.

Posted by: Beth in StL at May 19, 2006 08:06 AM

Holy Cow, Chris... you missed the mothership this week. Here's the AP Article text:

Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson says God told him storms and possibly a tsunami will hit America's coastline this year.

Robertson has made the predictions at least four times in the past two weeks on his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network, which he founded. Robertson said the revelations about this year's weather came to him during his annual personal prayer retreat in January.

"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson said May 8. Wednesday, he added, "there well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."

---To which I follow with, "No Shit, Patty! Storms!? Reaaallly???? Doesn't that happen like, every year or something? I mean, the tsunami is pushing it, but the other one? That's a no-brainer"

Posted by: Corinne at May 19, 2006 08:23 AM

I think Paul will survive even if he loses a lot.

And Britney - well what can anyone say about Britney.
seems like she'll do anything to make the news. Stay tuned

Posted by: cas at May 19, 2006 08:27 AM

It's too bad 'Gold Digger' didn't come out a few years earlier, so that Paul could learn from its wisdom - 'it's that something that you need to have, 'cause when she leaves your ass, she's gonna leave with half'

Posted by: samantha at May 19, 2006 08:34 AM

I think you missed out, too, on the Senate -- geniuses that they are -- passing a law that says that no one has a right to receive government services in a language other than English. Except for those who already have that right by law. Meaningless, shameless pandering.

What's next? Banning the teaching of Spanish in schools??

Posted by: Robin at May 19, 2006 08:36 AM

I feel bad for Brits. She always got that kid with her. Doesn't anyone babysit for her! Maybe she needs a night out ALONE. And there is schlepping her baby which clearly her MAN servant should be doing all over town.

Paul? Well maybe now he'll leave our seals alone.

Posted by: Pamalamadingdong at May 19, 2006 08:37 AM

i applaud you on your ability to fit in as many Beatles songs as you possibly could in that last paragraph. lol. it's sad, really, what's happened with paul. but, honesly, who didn't see this coming?

and the britney thing.... another, DUH. is it wrong of me to secretly delight in her downward spiral into white trailer trash? i feel sorry that she has brought a son (and another soon-to-be-born child) into this world where they are going to have to deal with her and her crazy life, but i don't feel sorry for britney. i know it's wrong, since i don't know her in real life and i'm just making assumptions and being prejudiced... but really, she's a freakin' moron...

Posted by: Judy at May 19, 2006 08:51 AM

I, too, commend you on your use of Beatles titles in that last paragraph.

As for Britney - uh, wow. She really is not a girl, not yet a woman.

And Sir Paul? Money can't buy him love, I guess.

Now, you asked us if you missed anything. Dude - I don't know! I depend on you for my news. Sheesh.

Posted by: Alison at May 19, 2006 08:59 AM

Yeah Paul and Britney are both complete morons. I can't believe California law says there's nothing they can do this time about Britney since their laws say nothing about facing forward early. Ugh.

Posted by: Sabrina at May 19, 2006 09:00 AM

Pat Robertson, you so crazy. I love his disclaimer: "If I heard the Lord right..." Ha!

And I can't believe I'm defending Britney Spears, but I didn't know what was wrong with that first blurb you posted until other commenters pointed it out. Okay, so the car seat facing the wrong way was an honest mistake any new mother could make. But driving with the baby on your lap? Duh! And wearing hair rollers outside? Unforgiveable!

Posted by: Fraulein N at May 19, 2006 09:01 AM

While I agree that it was silly for Paul not to have a pre-nup, like many people pointed out, what he lost is a drop in the bucket for him. He'll just go on tour and make most of that right back.

Posted by: Kaz at May 19, 2006 09:05 AM

I think you missed this...more britney news!

she almost dropped Tater Tot because she was carrying a I'm not saying I know FOR SURE that it was Vodka....but wouldn't ya drop your drink BEFORE your kid?

Just sayin'!

Posted by: wn at May 19, 2006 09:12 AM

Great job recapping the week! I too think Paul was a fool for entering that marriage without a prenup. Who says you can't buy me love?

Every time I think of Britney Spears I think of the saying "ignorance is bliss".

Posted by: MrsJoseGoldbloom at May 19, 2006 09:18 AM

How'd we get from her to Paul to Robertson?

I think Paul probably didn't care.

Robertson has gone round the bend. I'm much more frightened of Giulani's endorsement of Ralph Reed for Lt Governor of Georgia. Ralph for Prez in 2008? Think about that if you want to really make your day.

And Bush is a dangerous idiot because 1) he's "other" directed and 2) he doesn't know he's an idiot. He actually thinks he's making all these decisions.

Ms Spears is probably an idiot as well but I'm sure glad I didn't have a hidden camera on me 24/7 with the kids. I've done some remarkably dumb things.

Parenting class perhaps?

Posted by: ann adams at May 19, 2006 09:33 AM

I thought for sure you'd have Richard Hatch, the first Survivor winner, in there. Seeing as how he's going to jail for unpaid taxes that he "thought" the show was going to pay and on income he "forgot" to tell his accountant about. Oops.
As for Britney, I could never properly put into words my thoughts about her.
Af for Paul, stupid yeah. But come on, he's the cute Beatle. I can't hold a grudge against him. ;)

Posted by: Traci at May 19, 2006 09:35 AM

I sense a britney meltdown coming soon. I almost feel sorry for her!

Posted by: Bethany at May 19, 2006 10:05 AM

Beth and Samantha - you took the words right out of my mouth. As for the craziest thing this week I'd agree with Traci... it's the Richard Hatch story. 4yrs in jail seems like an adequate sentence for being an idiot. Talk about going from the Penthouse to the Outhouse!

Speak of which...Who wants to put a $1 on what Ken Lay gets? I'm going to say 10 years. Jeff Skilling 7 yrs. Talk about parity.

Posted by: Johnny Smoke at May 19, 2006 10:09 AM

Paris Hilton's presents for her mom got ripped off? Paris Hilton and some guy I've never heard of getting caught on tape acting like high school drop-outs? Like, anything having to do with Paris Hilton?

I was extremely satisfied last night that Marissa Cooper (Mischa Barton's character on the O.C.) apparently FINALLY DIED. I mean, I cheered and everything. Also? Worst dying scene ever. Oddly enough, they were playing some strange version of Hallelujah in the background, so when Marissa's head lolled to the side, the singer sang, "Hallelujah..."


Posted by: Rhonda at May 19, 2006 10:13 AM

All I can do is shake my head and sigh when I hear another careless new mom Brittney Spears story.
Because that's what it seems to be - her being careless with her baby. I mean, it seems like she thinks she's toting around a small dog instead of an infant. And I wouldn't even treat my dog like that. (Of course, my dog is huge and can't sit on my lap while I'm driving, but that's beside the point.)

I'll also be surprised if her children make it to age 20. I know taking care of a baby is hard work, but you have to have SOME common sense in there somewhere!

Posted by: Kitty at May 19, 2006 10:40 AM

Brit-brit had a nanny until very recently. I believe she was fired after the fall out of the high-chair. After 8 months? She should know which direction the car seat should face. Our instructions said 20 pounds AND 1 year old. I know because Queen B was at the weight limit before 1, and I spent a long time just itching to turn the seat around. But I didn't!

I tend to agree that if your net worth is measured in the Billions, maybe you don't care about gambling many millions of it on (not)staying married.

To descend into the gossip world for mine, I love how Paris Hilton's flack is pointing out that she is a totally separate person, who was just standing there laughing, while he was being rude about her "friend", she didn't actually say anything herself. With friends like her...

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at May 19, 2006 11:09 AM

Well, there was the poor guy from this headline on Drudge Report:

"Woman Rips Off Man's Penis with Bare Hands"


Schmuck Mayor Ray Nagin.

Your choice.

Posted by: Pammer at May 19, 2006 11:23 AM

I guess she won't be needing him, or feeding him, as the case may be ... when he's 64.

*Gah. That was bad. And so, so obvious.*

Yes, he's a dumass. But she? She's a genious!

Posted by: Jen at May 19, 2006 11:23 AM

I don't want to spoil the party, but Heather M. should get back. She's got a devil in her heart if she takes Paul's money.

From me to you, Heather, you know what to do: let it be.

Paul, run for your life.

Posted by: Liz at May 19, 2006 11:26 AM

the Britney Spears having any sort of common sense theory died for me during the whole bathroom without shoes scene.

Posted by: ali at May 19, 2006 11:52 AM

Wow....I thought I was cynical and bitter about love, but then I read all of these comments.

I feel the need to point out that it's not Paul who is making a big deal out of the money, it's the media. And they are only speculating "she COULD get" or "he COULD lose". Laugh if you will, but perhaps they actually loved each other and it just didnt' work out? Maybe that's why he didn't have a prenup and maybe she's not going to 'suck him dry'...

Personally, I wouldn't have nor sign a prenup. And I had way more property and made way more money then my husband ever did. If I had felt the need to have something in writing, I just wouldn't have married him.

Regarding Britney, the only thing that bothers me is the fact that I KNOW if this behavior was exhibited by a non-celebrity, CYS would have gotten involved. It's like having money gives you permission to be a bad parent.

Posted by: fauve at May 19, 2006 11:56 AM

Yeah, but do you NEED a billion dollars? i mean, so he loses a quarter of it... he's still STINKING rich.

Posted by: jodi at May 19, 2006 12:22 PM

In my opinion it's probably whats-his-face didn't get whats-her-name (like I care?) to sign a prenup' because he's so rich that even if she took half of it he'd still have more money than he could ever spend, so consequently didn't give a flying fuck.

Not made up my mind about pop queen though. I know she's screwing up a lot and needs someone to sit her downd and read her the do's and don't's from a book called "I WILL NOT KILL MY BABY THROUGH STUPIDITY" but, honestly, the press hounding her probably isn't helping and is making her nervous and therefore more likely to screw up...?

Though, with the wealth and fame and all, you would think she'd be used to that.

Like I said: undecided.

She's thick as two short planks, though.

THAT'S definate.

Posted by: Alice at May 19, 2006 12:39 PM

I'm sitting here for a half-hour now trying to figure out what will change for Mr. McCartney, should he lose up to a quarter of his estate.

Nothing? Right. Nothing. He'll still have more money than he could possibly ever spend.

And rather than stupid, I would like to think that the old guy is a believer in love. Pre-nups to me have always seemed like insurance policies for the expected breakup. And I would like to think he expected this love to last forever. He's goofy and an awful lyricist, and his music is kind of insipid, but dammit. I want to think he's a Good Man.

Posted by: bhd at May 19, 2006 12:46 PM

I'm too nice for Schadenfreude Fridays. I always want to give people the benefit of the doubt. I think Brit probably *tries* to do well...but she's just so screwed up. And the pre-nup? If you're never gonna break up, then what's the harm in signing it? It becomes a meaningless piece of paper if you stay together. But it could easly be saying you don't trust one another...and Paul can totally afford to lose it. I now officially group him with all the other people who have! I really don't understand why those folks don't give more to charity. There are people in NEED, and Paul has 1.5BILLION?? WTF!?

Posted by: Heather at May 19, 2006 12:48 PM

I don't know. If I had $1.5B and lost 1/4 of it, I'd still be let's see… carry the 2, divide, times 8, adding up the... Oh yeah, here it is: I'd be FREAKING RICH!

So I think he's still ahead on this one.

And as for the pop diva, could you imagine trying to raise a kid in the public eye? I mean, yes, she's dumber than a sack of bricks and makes really stupid choices, but if I had people taking pictures of my every move you can bet your sweet ass they'd find something scathing.

Just saying.

Posted by: Elaine at May 19, 2006 01:28 PM

Britney makes me mad with her antics.

And I can't say anything at Paul. Just because he has money, he cant believe in true love? So that means we should all get a prenup against our spouses so they cant take our prized possessions or money? I feel sorry for them- it is always sad when a marriage doesnt work out.

Posted by: Jess at May 19, 2006 02:02 PM

Sean Preston doesn't stand a chance with parents like her and K-Fed. The odds are not stacked in his favor. Which is truly sad.

Posted by: Michelle at May 19, 2006 02:38 PM

I almost feel bad for Britney. I mean, she is a screw up. But I sure as hell wouldn't want a camera following me around. And especially not when Maya was a infant. Shit, we all screw up. Now having said that, she is still an idiot.

Posted by: Melissa at May 19, 2006 02:47 PM

Actually, I believe Paul does give a ton to charities, he just is not one of those celebrities which needs to publicize it. I don't think he really likes drawing attention to his wealth (although now everyone knows a bit more about it).

He also contributes non-monetarily to many charities.

Posted by: Kaz at May 19, 2006 03:51 PM

I am totally going to make Paul sign a prenup when we get married. (We'll elope of course and have our babies in Namibia or something.) I plan to make billions on the tell-all book that I'll write after the divorce. And anyway, our kids will be set up! For, like, life. Shit, our great-great-great-grandkids will probably never have to work! As long as they don't turn out like a Britney or a Paris, I'll be very satisfied. Heather's loss = my gain! W00T!

P.S. I told him not to get the plastic surgery but the man will do anything for, um, love!

Posted by: The Future Ex Mrs. McCartney at May 19, 2006 04:13 PM

What did YOU miss? Babe, I come here for my news, screw CNN! ;) I haven't been paying much attention but who could miss those two stories of tragedy? I think if Heather takes a huge amount of money, she's a one-legged whore, but who knows. She may surprise us. Brit is question about it. And I truly do not see that changing; ever. You can take the girl out of the trailer park...

Happy Friday!

Posted by: Kate at May 19, 2006 04:36 PM

Paul was dumb. So typical going off and marrying a model. Oh well, I'll cry when I have billions to lose in a settlement.

Brit, what can you say... one would hope someone in her entourage would have common sense. In her defense, if her son (is it?) was like Nicholas and he reached the 20lb mark before the one-year mark, it is entirely possible that she didn't know that the rule is 20 lbs and one year before you turn the car seat around. (As opposed to one or the other.) Dunno. Just know we had issues finding a rear facing over 20 lb carseat. I suppose I could google the photo but I really don't care that much. Not saying she's a great mom, but how many parents have their every move scrutinized... I'm sure we've all done some dumb things as parents, maybe we need to cut her a little slack. One would just hope her advisors (unless they've all quit) would provide a bit more common sense. Why do we still care about Britney anyway?

Posted by: Nat at May 19, 2006 05:17 PM

I've said it for years - they make you take a test to get a drivers license but they'll let just any old yahoo have a baby.

Posted by: kalisah at May 19, 2006 07:05 PM

I'll never understand the stupidity of some people.

Oh by the way, Recovering Self is being archived for personal reasons and Chris (obviously a different Chris) and I have moved to our new domain at Clicking Keys. It is going to be a lot of fun.

Posted by: Melissa at May 20, 2006 11:55 AM