July 26, 2006

WTNs, Raises and Advil

A couple days ago, while Beth and I were taking down the outdoor decorations from Mia's first birthday party, White Trash Mom (WTM) yelled in our general direction, excuse me, do you know who keeps piling trash on our front stoop?. We replied that we didn't, because we actually didn't. But I had to bite my tongue. Especially when White Trash Dad (WTD) seemed to get all pissed off that someone had done this. You see, they leave shit piled everywhere. They literally pull trash out of their cars and just leave it, sitting there. Instead of putting their trash in cans or bags, they just haul it out to the curb where it can sit there for all the world to see and get blown into everyone's yards (most often ours). So, I didn't have much sympathy. In fact, I wanted to find the people who were doing this and thank them. And help.

In another interesting turn of events, Beth noticed something amusing whilst picking up an order of Chinese takeout at our local Hunan hotspot. It was a sign beside the cash register which prominently stated the WTNs real names along with the words "bad credit."

The reason I mention this? I think the White Trash Neighbors (WTN) might, finally, be gone. Last night, they came by in the White Trashmobile, hauled trash and house plants to the curb (or, more accurately, yelled at their kids to haul all the crap to the curb) then promptly retreated into the fog of whitetrashdom from which they first appeared. Good riddance, you horrible, horrible people.

To top it all off, I got a raise and the gods of technology seem to be cutting me some slack. It was a good day. Now? I need Advil...and coffee...lots of coffee.

Posted by Chris at July 26, 2006 07:02 AM

My WTNs in my apt complex for the past two days have set their alarm for 3am and left it blaring until after I leave my place at 6:15. I have left them notes to no avail and now have to contact management. Sigh.

Posted by: Nicole at July 26, 2006 07:24 AM

hey, the raise is timely. now the party that you'll be throwing because the neighbors are gone can be that much cooler. beer's on chris! uhm, not literally though because that would make it a totally different sort of party. though, hmmm, well, anyway. never mind. happy wednesday. ;-)

Posted by: pea at July 26, 2006 07:43 AM

Ding dong, the WTN are dead! Or gone which is just as good. Were they renting? Quick move someone you know and approve of in before you get WTN the sequel. And raise a can of Schlizt to toast their dust.

Posted by: Nic at July 26, 2006 07:53 AM

The WTN's are gone and you got a raise, and you need Advil? What about that gives you a headache?! Perhaps some very lovely people with an adorable one year old little boy will buy their home, and Mia will have an instant new best friend.

Congrats on your good day!

Posted by: Alissa at July 26, 2006 08:02 AM

You should rally the neighbors and have a block party after they (WTN) leave. I'm sure you're not the only one on the street that is happy to see them go ;)

Posted by: Michelle at July 26, 2006 08:04 AM

I sure hope you've seen the last of them. But WTN's tend to turn up again and again. Ugh!

Posted by: Maribeth at July 26, 2006 08:12 AM

Yay! This calls for a celebration!

Posted by: Fraulein N at July 26, 2006 08:29 AM

While I feel happy for you, having gotten rid of the WTN, I can hardly celebrate with you. For all I know, the WTN are moving to my neighborhood!

Posted by: Kaz at July 26, 2006 08:35 AM

Hooray. Break out the champagne!

Posted by: suze at July 26, 2006 08:36 AM

Congrats on the Raise. I would not celebrate the WTN moving just yet. Someone worse could move in next. Like say The hawaiian tropics Bikkini team. Or even worse a group of young studly firemen.

Posted by: Bill at July 26, 2006 08:42 AM

Can we hear a loud "WHOO-HOO!"

Thank God they've gone.

Pity the poor sod they move in next door too though. What a welcome home from work bumping into THAT lot would be.


Wish all the WTP on our council estate would move.


That would be good...

Posted by: Alice at July 26, 2006 08:45 AM

I remember my first experience with WTN...there was seven of them that lived in the 2 bedroom apt. above me. They made the last six months in my apt miserable, so I left when my lease was up. However while I had to deal with them I got some revenge! The apt was actually a big older home divided into 2 apts...upstairs was one and the whole bottom floor was mine. The bottom floor happend to be where the thermostat for the whole place was located. During that winter I would turn said thermostat WAY down when they acted up and let their kids stomp across the floor or started one of their God Foresaken yelling matches. I was going for the Pavlov's dog reaction...unfortunately for me Pavlov's dog was much smarter than my WTN! They would just come down to ask if the furnace was working properly, and I'd say yes it's nice and warm down here. :)

Posted by: MrsJoseGoldbloom at July 26, 2006 08:45 AM

Wow! Days don't get much better than that! Congrats on everything!

Posted by: donna at July 26, 2006 08:48 AM

Wow! So when's the party? Because it seems like you have A LOT to celebrate!

Posted by: Jessie at July 26, 2006 08:52 AM

Sounds like a fairly good day/week for you!

Posted by: Alison at July 26, 2006 08:53 AM

Congrats on the WTN moving and your raise !

Posted by: Jenn at July 26, 2006 09:07 AM

Congrats on the raise!

Your WTN sound like the WTN my best friend has. They are just awful...last time I was there, which was this weekend, they had a hot dog cart parked on their front lawn. Now, I've seen me some interesting lawn art -- washing machines, tractor parts, rusted out Pathfinders, recliners...but never a hot dog cart.

Posted by: mamatulip at July 26, 2006 09:13 AM

Next: Who will buy or rent the White Trash Abode. And exactly how awful does it look inside? Inquiring minds want to know...er...but only if they get to take the tour wearing an army-issue gas mask.

Posted by: wordgirl at July 26, 2006 09:13 AM

hooray! the WTNs are finally gone! perhaps now you guys can live in peace. and the raise is always a plus. :)

Posted by: Judy at July 26, 2006 09:17 AM

Congrats all around! Getting rid of the WTNs and a raise in the same week??? Could life get much better than that? :)

Posted by: Traci at July 26, 2006 09:17 AM

Woo Hoo!

Best Day Ever?

Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah at July 26, 2006 09:20 AM

Hooooray! Congratulations!

I misread that title at first as Wins, Raisins and Advil. Your way makes more sense, though. Plus? Mo' money and no more WTN's!!

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at July 26, 2006 09:22 AM

Whooo! Double celebration! Good riddance to the WTN! Unfortunatley I think they moved in across the street from me! We've got some doozies moving in!

And congrats on the raise!!!

Posted by: Lisa at July 26, 2006 09:26 AM

Congrats on both the raise and the departure of the WTN!

Posted by: carrster at July 26, 2006 09:40 AM

Congrats on the raise!!!

Posted by: ::c:: at July 26, 2006 10:01 AM

So long, WTN's!

And congratulations on the raise.

Posted by: bad penguin at July 26, 2006 10:05 AM

What a joyous day! The day you've both been waiting for! They are gone. Life is good. Like my fortune cookie said last night: Spring has sprung, life is blooming. I'm positive it was referring to your neighbors moving.

And dude, the chinese restaurant keeps a list of bad credit people in plain view!?!?! That's so harsh... but strangely amusing.

Posted by: RSM at July 26, 2006 10:10 AM

Big doin's in your 'hood, my friend. Congrats on all the goodness, and shame on you for not leaving trash on the WTNs' front stoop as a going-away gift.

So what new books are you gonna buy with the big raise? ;-P

Posted by: shelley at July 26, 2006 10:10 AM

Congrats on the raise!

Posted by: Karen at July 26, 2006 10:21 AM

Congratulations! I understand the headache. Just too much good news in one day, huh?

Posted by: Kelly M. at July 26, 2006 10:26 AM

I actually had a neighbor that did that once... pulled crap out of her car and left in the yard with the idea that it would make it to her trashcan on trash day.

Until another neighbor would pick up the trash in the mornings on her walk and neatly put it in a trashbag and sit it on the first neighbors porch.

It took about a month of this happening until the first neighbor FINALLY stopped throwing her trash in the yard.

From a spectator's view... it was kind of hysterically funny to watch both of them in action.


Posted by: -d at July 26, 2006 10:47 AM

Yay for raises, the end of WTNs and using the word whilst!

Posted by: Heather at July 26, 2006 10:48 AM

Congratulations on all counts!

Posted by: Amy at July 26, 2006 10:50 AM

And that, my friend, is the balance of the universe. Bad neighbors, sucky technology --> RAISE.

Hard to have a bad day when the "r" word appears. :) enjoy!

Posted by: Pammer at July 26, 2006 11:30 AM

congrats on the raise!! and bow down further to that almighty dolla! :)

Posted by: b. at July 26, 2006 12:02 PM

hooray for the WTNs moving out!

hopefully, a nice family with a girl around Mia's age will move in.

Posted by: Denise at July 26, 2006 12:14 PM

Congrats on your raise! Raises are always, always good.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at July 26, 2006 12:20 PM

Oh, Congrats, congrats, congrats!

Posted by: Jen at July 26, 2006 12:52 PM

Hip, hip, Hooray!

Posted by: Wicked H at July 26, 2006 12:55 PM

Hooray! A raise and no more WTNs. A red letter day. I hope you get a nice family in there this time.

Posted by: Annie at July 26, 2006 01:04 PM

my friends and i sometimes like to have WTW - White Trash Weekends. Where we hang out by The Lake and wear wife beaters and eat things made with Velveeta. It's fun!

Posted by: jodi at July 26, 2006 01:20 PM

YAY. You live so close to WV, that's where they come from.

Also, yay on the raise!

Posted by: Autumn at July 26, 2006 01:26 PM

That. Is. Awesome.

Posted by: Brad at July 26, 2006 01:45 PM

Don't get your hopes up too high. Maybe there's a trailer convention going on. They might be back. ;)

Posted by: Tink at July 26, 2006 01:50 PM

Sweet! And yay for the raise! Hope the WTN keep their trash evacuation process going.

We are coping with sullen, angst-y teenaged boy next door and his friends who sit outside and flick their cigarette butts on our doormat. Nice.

Posted by: Sue at July 26, 2006 01:53 PM

Yay, congratulations! Since things are going so well could you talk to my people? I need a raise too!!

Posted by: chantel at July 26, 2006 02:04 PM

I swear, my old neighbors must've moved next to you for a while.

Posted by: Queen of Ass at July 26, 2006 02:20 PM

Congratulations on all counts. Now maybe you'll quicherwhining. *wink*

Posted by: bhd at July 26, 2006 02:22 PM

Happy raise! YAY :-)

Way to be a security geek.

Posted by: Ginny at July 26, 2006 03:20 PM

A raise, AND the departure of WTNs!? WOOO!!

Posted by: Kristen at July 26, 2006 03:22 PM

Congratulations on the Raise and the WTNs finally leaving! What a great day!

Posted by: alfredsmom at July 26, 2006 03:24 PM

Hooray! That's a good day! I'll miss the stories about the WTN though - I know it was horrible to live beside them, but the stories sure were entertaining. :)

Posted by: Kristina at July 26, 2006 03:51 PM

Hooray! Ding Dong the trash is gone :)

I'm sure you have had that Advil and coffee by now. All that's left to do is sit back and relax. Yes?

Posted by: Kate at July 26, 2006 03:58 PM

'outdoor decorations'? You had OUTDOOR DECORATIONS? And your wife? Did you happen to notice she was wearing a skirt AND heels?

Don't you know you're going to have to top that next year? And top THAT the year after?

You guys need to work on starting a bit smaller ...


Posted by: s@bd at July 26, 2006 04:01 PM

We have white trash neighbors with a 9-year-old autistic child. Last week the autistic walked right on into our house. He opened the fridge and started screaming about Bud Light. (Its one of the few things he can say. He's moderate to severe.) Normally we keep the doors locked because we've also had problems with him peeping into the house. But the one time we didn't, he walked right in!

My hubby returned him to his house. The hubs was met by the dad who gave him a vacant stare and stated that he didn't realize the child was gone!

This made me incredibly angry. I feel like my home and privacy has been invaded. And the parents didn't even apologize. Instead, they tried to push their younger daughter off on us to babysit. The child always has bite marks and bruises on her body from the autistic child.

I could go on and on about them...

Posted by: Lisa B at July 26, 2006 04:14 PM

Wow - 2 great happenings in one day!

Enjoy that coffee

Posted by: cas at July 26, 2006 04:42 PM

Horrible neighbors are the absolute worst. I hope they are gone.

If you're going to be drinking all that coffee might as well get creative and make some spiced whipped cream for a topping. I'm just saying. :)

Posted by: Kestrel at July 26, 2006 05:10 PM

Wow, I don't know which is better - congrats on both! Actually, congrats on all three if you count the technology gods in there!

Posted by: Beth in StL at July 26, 2006 05:22 PM

Good news all around...and you just celebrated Mia's first birthday...all in all, you've had a pretty spectacular week.

Posted by: Krush at July 26, 2006 06:18 PM

I think we need to trade spots. On top of the misfortune that I'm sparing the internet the details of, my car, which I just got back since its wreck, was hit in the parking lot today by a co-worker.

C'est la vie.

Good riddance, WTN. :o)

Posted by: Emily at July 26, 2006 06:49 PM

I pity WT people. I really do.

Posted by: Sijbrich at July 26, 2006 06:50 PM

Congrats on the raise! And AWESOME that the WTNs left for WT'er pastures!

Er, the gods of technology have been cutting you some slack because, er...THEY ARE OVER HERE! bitches!

Posted by: haley-o at July 27, 2006 01:09 PM

Congrats on the raise and the departing neighbors! Though I think, big picture, the latter is more exciting. :-)

Posted by: Polichick at July 27, 2006 02:51 PM

Very funny. WTN can't afford take out. I pegged it a long time ago-they are probably in debt up to their eyes.
Congrats. Hopefully your new neighbors will be wonderful. Who knows, maybe you will get a few months break from neighbors?

Posted by: Jamie at July 27, 2006 05:09 PM

Sounds like someone is giving the WTN a message with all that trash, hmmmm? Wish one set of neighbors would leave; on occasion we hear they might, but they always pull through and get to stay.

Posted by: Caryn at July 27, 2006 09:11 PM

Yay! The WTN are gone...finally! What a relief that must be. :)

Congrats on the raise!

Posted by: Zandria at July 28, 2006 12:21 PM

Woohoo! Congrats on the raise! Double Woohoo to WTN leaving!!

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