August 04, 2006

Schadenfreude Friday: The No-Brainer

Well, duh.

According to a rather comprehensive article in the Times online...

MEL GIBSON, the Oscar-winning Hollywood actor, apologised last night for his “despicable” anti-semitic rant when he was arrested on a drink-driving charge in Los Angeles.

Gibson, 50, is alleged to have tried to escape when he was pulled over on the Pacific Coast highway near his Malibu home in the early hours of Friday morning and then launched into a barrage of anti-semitic curses against the arresting sheriffs.

Police have confirmed the actor and director, who rose to fame by playing characters such as Mad Max and a mentally unstable policeman in the Lethal Weapon series, was found to have a blood- alcohol level of 0.12%, above the 0.08% Californian limit. He was charged with drink-driving and released on $5,000 bail.

In a statement issued by Alan Nierob, his spokesman, Gibson did not detail what happened but said: “I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable. I am deeply ashamed of everything I said.”

The star added: “I have battled with the disease of alcoholism for all my adult life and profoundly regret my horrific relapse.”

According to police records, Gibson, a strict Catholic, then launched into an anti-semitic tirade, referring to “f****** Jews” and stating that “the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world”. He also repeatedly insulted the police officers, addressing one female sergeant as “sugar tits”.

And from the AP, a little later...

A leaked arrest report quoted Gibson as saying "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," and asking an arresting officer, James Mee, "Are you a Jew?"

The entertainment Web site TMZ posted the document, which it said was four pages from the original arrest report. Sheriff's officials have declined to comment on Gibson's alleged remarks.

The Office of Independent Review, a department watchdog panel, has opened an investigation into whether authorities tried to cover up Gibson's alleged inflammatory comments, said its chief attorney, Mike Gennaco.

"Assuming that the report was excised, then the question is was it done for a good reason within regulations," he said.

...and then there's this, from Reuters...

The ABC television network said on Tuesday that it has pulled a miniseries about the Holocaust it was developing with Mel Gibson's production company.

The move came after Gibson was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving early on Friday and was reported to have launched into a tirade against Jews, asking the arresting officer if he was a Jew and blaming the Jews for starting all wars.

The actor, who holds strong conservative Catholic religious and political views and whose father is a Holocaust denier, apologized on Saturday and has entered a rehabilitation program to treat alcoholism.

But the incident has raised questions about the future of projects Gibson and his Icon Productions company are working on.

This is one of the ones that writes itself, right? I mean, you're not expecting me to type anything that'll top the actual facts of the story?

Oh, Maverick, is this Payback, Ransom or just a vast Conspiracy Theory? I know it's not What Women Want but you're not Forever Young you Bird On A Wire. You could end up as a Man Without A Face. So enjoy The Bounty of your life, Mad Max. Embrace The Passion. And remember - not everyday has to start with a Tequila Sunrise.

Posted by Chris at August 4, 2006 06:57 AM

oh my, you HAVE outdone yourself!

Posted by: jen at August 4, 2006 07:51 AM


Posted by: Allan at August 4, 2006 07:54 AM

Clever. What cracks me up about this story is the fact that no one is really reporting on the fact that the dude was Driving Drunk, Which is against the law. He could have seriously injured someone.

I also love the way the story gets reported, you even have an example here, where he apologizes, and then they make it look like he continues with his hate speech.

I feel bad for the guy. I think what he said was horrible but I also know that I have said some pretty stupid things when I was drunk.

Posted by: Bill at August 4, 2006 08:00 AM

Last paragraph is proof that you are a reader! Nice....glad I came early!

Posted by: Kristy at August 4, 2006 08:03 AM

ROFLOL! Very, very good!

Posted by: Maribeth at August 4, 2006 08:06 AM

LMFAO! Well done. TGIF !

Posted by: Jenn at August 4, 2006 08:09 AM

Dude, that was awesome. And sad, because Mel has always been one of my favs. :(

Posted by: A.K. at August 4, 2006 08:10 AM

He definitely has a Braveheart to apoligize for what he did. OK, I was trying to be as cool as you right there, but it's just not working this early in the morning, and especially without any coffee :( HAPPY FRIDAY!

Posted by: Michelle at August 4, 2006 08:15 AM

That guy is such a jerk. I don't think he needs to apologize just because he's a celebrity but I hope his career suffers for it. What a tool!

Posted by: Liberal Banana at August 4, 2006 08:33 AM

That last paragraph? Wow. Nice work.

Posted by: Jessie at August 4, 2006 08:51 AM

Bwahahahaha. I have included you in my "morning routine" because you are now a blocked site at my place of employment! Congratulations!

I had to read about the sexxxxxy mullet on a couple of sites before I could return home and witness the magic first-hand.

Oh yeah, and as soon as I saw the whole Mel Gibson thing, I thought "Oh, so Chris has a good post for Friday."

I spend too much time online...

Posted by: kara at August 4, 2006 08:54 AM

Being drunk is never an excuse for anything. If you can't handle it (and he obviously can't) then don't drink.

Thanks, and have a nice weekend.


Posted by: cassie-b at August 4, 2006 08:58 AM

i guess they weren't too far off on South Park, were they???

Posted by: ali at August 4, 2006 09:08 AM

That last paragraph is BRILLIANT.

Posted by: mamatulip at August 4, 2006 09:08 AM

ROFL at the last paragraph. Well done.
Back in the days of Lethal Weapon, I used to be a fan of Mel's. But he lost any appeal for me a while ago and this just cemented it.

Posted by: Traci at August 4, 2006 09:10 AM

Well, aren't we clever? ;)

This story makes me just the tiniest bit sad because I love Braveheart and really want to see that new movie he's working on..or just finished. The one that takes place in the Amazon.

Anyway. Heh. Well done, my friend.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at August 4, 2006 09:20 AM

Heh, definitely good work with the last paragraph. Like Kara, when I heard about Mel, I thought "Oh, well, that's Schadenfreude Friday material, right there!"

Really, I know I've said things when drunk that probably shouldn't have been said, but not anything I didn't believe in when I was sober.

I love, too, that he didn't even get around to apologizing for the anti-Semitic parts of his rant until the *second draft* of his apology.

They did finally tag him for the DUI, though, which is good. I spend way too much time reading Defamer.

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at August 4, 2006 10:28 AM

The Man Without A Face may end up as the Man Without a Career.

But I doubt it.

Posted by: Pammer at August 4, 2006 10:33 AM

...Or live Forever Young.

Yer missed one. ;-D

Posted by: oakley at August 4, 2006 10:49 AM

Love the paragraph, well done! I really despise the man...

Posted by: Pixie at August 4, 2006 10:58 AM

I said some pretty stupid and hateful things as well and didn't remember most of them. (People were kind enough to tell me the next day if they were still speaking to me).

However, nothing ever came out of my mouth that wasn't already in my brain. I just changed from Jekyll to Hyde. And so did he once his guard was down.

No one suddenly becomes an anti-Semite or a sexist, reactionary fool as the result of a drink or two too many. It had to be there already; carefully hidden.

Posted by: ann adams at August 4, 2006 11:33 AM

You clever, clever man. And you're right, this one was indeed a no-brainer.

Posted by: Kristina at August 4, 2006 12:08 PM

Ooo...grasshoppah! You vely, vely clevah wordsmith!

Posted by: wordgirl at August 4, 2006 12:11 PM

Very funny. I think the real issue here has been lost, that he was driving drunk and he could have killed someone--and that is never funny.

I don't think this is going to kill his carrer, not even close.

Posted by: Michele at August 4, 2006 12:21 PM

What a jackass. (Mel, not you.)

Posted by: Noelle at August 4, 2006 12:21 PM

Definite Signs he should quit drinking, eh?


Posted by: fauve at August 4, 2006 12:29 PM

Well done!

Didn't know you were such a Mel Gibson afficionado!

Publicity, bad or good, is publicity...I'll still watch his films. He's talented enough. Besides, he was "under the influence". A local news feature had a DUI driver that hit a "blind man", who now suffers with constant pain was acquitted by a local judge, stating that the case should never had gone to court in the first place. Too much sympathy is extended and apathy is the trend.
Perhaps we should now call Mel, "MADD Max"...

On a somber note, how's your Grandfather doing?

Anni :-)

Posted by: Anni at August 4, 2006 12:52 PM

That was excellent. Stopped by via 'Mazin's blog.

Posted by: Maria at August 4, 2006 01:39 PM

I think he finally overdid it on "The Year of Living Dangerously."

(I challenge ANYONE to work "Gallipoli" into this....)

Posted by: Karen at August 4, 2006 01:57 PM

You know, I really can't comment anymore until that awesome photograph of you disappears off the page. I'm getting way too much coffee and snot on my Dell 9300 IMAX notebook.

Posted by: bhd at August 4, 2006 01:58 PM

Very clever. Such talent!

Posted by: sue at August 4, 2006 02:34 PM

I love how one of CNN breaking news alerts was that Mel Gibson was charged with a DUI.. um.. Duh.. isn't that what happens? How is that breaking news?

Posted by: molly at August 4, 2006 03:19 PM

I saw this covered on cable last night and the legal ramifications of releasing the tape...

I didn't know what the audacious material was about and you caught it.

Information can't be contained as it used to be....

Posted by: H.A. Page at August 4, 2006 03:40 PM

Nice one, Chris. Shut it, Gibson.

Posted by: Fraulein N at August 4, 2006 03:42 PM

I'm just wondering how the jews find time to cause all the wars in the world, run Hollywood, and control the banks simultaneously- While I can barely find a second to rig even the smallest election.

Posted by: jeff at August 4, 2006 04:05 PM

What a tool. I don't even know what to say. Perhaps next time he goes out he can change the Hamlet soliloquy to "To drink, or not to drink - That is the question."

Here's the rub: He has a problem. I hope he gets help. The damage is done, but I'm just thankful that we're talking about what a racist asshole he is instead of how he killed someone in a drunk driving accident.

Posted by: Q at August 4, 2006 04:43 PM

Hahaha, you are good.

Posted by: Ava at August 4, 2006 06:46 PM

Brilliant. BRILLIANT movie melange at he end there. And, you're so right. The facts speak for themselves. This was, indeed, a no-brainer!

Posted by: haley-o at August 4, 2006 11:58 PM

Okay, I'm a Mel fan, but you have done a phenonmenal job. Great post. Great post. What else? Great post.

I'm dumbfounded.

Posted by: Laundry Woman at August 5, 2006 12:19 AM


Posted by: Lisa B at August 5, 2006 01:17 AM

He did a bad bad thing (bad Mel BAD) and you did a great post.... but all that aside, I can't stop laughing at the fact that he called a cop "Sugar Tits" Seriously? Sugar Tits? That's too funny!

Posted by: Erin at August 5, 2006 12:36 PM

That last paragraph was awesome.

Posted by: Kristen at August 5, 2006 03:42 PM

I had to give you this because I know you wont be able to resist all the jokes that pop into your head when you read it...;_ylt=Ag7D4mbwnRlr3uN7CR8D2Oqs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3ODdxdHBhBHNlYwM5NjQ-

Happy weekend!!!

Posted by: That Girl at August 5, 2006 04:33 PM

you are too good!

Posted by: Dee at August 5, 2006 04:36 PM

Oh the Cleverness of YOU!

Snort! You are truly one of the most clever people I pretend to know! Grin!

Posted by: Gypsy at August 6, 2006 08:14 PM

Yes, drinking helps a person to do things that they wouldn't normally do. But I have to believe that drinking really more accurately removes the censor button on your brain. He would never have said those things if deep down he didn't really feel that way. Why would that be the first thing that you start spouting off to the police unless you were an anti-semite? What an asshat.

Posted by: Beth in StL at August 6, 2006 09:55 PM