August 05, 2006

A Little Peace

Thank you for your kind words about my grandfather. He passed away around 11:00 this morning.

I'm positive I should feel worse than I do. I grew up neither geographically nor emotionally close to my grandfather. He wasn't exactly the warmest of men. His death - from Alzheimer's - while sad, is a blessing in certain respects. I'm sure I'm not the only one breathing an albeit small sigh of relief. No one deserves to live or die like that.

So, there's a little peace at last. A little emptiness, yes, but a little peace.

Posted by Chris at August 5, 2006 08:39 PM
Comments

Sorry to hear that man but I think you are spot on. That is horrible to live like that. My Grandma had the same thing and it was almost a relief when she passed. After seeing her so alive and full of piss and vinager all her life it was heartbreaking to see her go through Alzheimers. Peace to you.
Tommy

Posted by: Tommy Gunn at August 5, 2006 08:46 PM

I'm sorry, Chris. It may be a small blessing, but it's still always hard. I've been there, with my own grandparents.

Take care.

Posted by: Alissa at August 5, 2006 08:51 PM

I understnad how you feel. My best you and your family.

Posted by: Jenn at August 5, 2006 09:04 PM

I'm sorry. It's hard for things to end without a lot of closure and maybe a few regrets. Alzeheimer's is a horrible disease, I'm glad he's free from it at last.

Peace to you and the Cactus-Fish family.

Posted by: samantha at August 5, 2006 09:07 PM

I'm very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you. :(

Posted by: Betty at August 5, 2006 09:17 PM

Sorry.

Posted by: cassie-b at August 5, 2006 09:30 PM

I also send my condolences. When my last remaining grandfather passed away a decade ago, we all gathered back in Taiwan. It was slightly surreal. And shortly after, his sons and daughter's in law all attempted to grab what estate they could. And at the time I thought that it was only Americans who can be so selfish. How stupid of me...

Posted by: aL at August 5, 2006 10:22 PM

I'm sorry. I lost a beloved cousin to that awful illness and there was much more relief than sadness when she was finally at rest. We'd lost her long before.

Take care.

Posted by: ann adams at August 5, 2006 10:37 PM

I'm so sorry!

Posted by: Pixie at August 5, 2006 10:45 PM

I'm sorry. I lost my grandfather to alzheimers years ago. I wasn't close with him at all, but it was still scary to see him like that.

Posted by: statia at August 5, 2006 11:18 PM

sorry to hear of your loss. but i understand about not feeling as bad as you think you should. when my great-grandma died, i felt the same way. (her's was cancer) It was like she could finally be at peace instead of suffering any longer. So you are not alone in the sentiment.

Posted by: kristied at August 5, 2006 11:23 PM

I am so so sorry. My grandma had Alzheimers. And I never really knew her before the disease progressed. So my memories of her are peeing on our coffee table and slapping my sister because SHE wanted to play with my sis's babydoll.

Again, so sorry for your loss.

Posted by: Lisa B at August 5, 2006 11:29 PM

I'm sorry for your loss, Chris.

Posted by: Spring at August 5, 2006 11:31 PM

My condolences for your loss.

Posted by: A.K. at August 5, 2006 11:37 PM

Yuck. Nothing witty, just yuck. Sorry, BFF.

Posted by: mr lady at August 6, 2006 01:12 AM

My thoughts are with you and your family. Despite the circumstances, it still shows that life is fleeting and precious and we should embrace the ones we've got while we've got them.

Sending you peace and love, my friend.

Posted by: Q at August 6, 2006 01:25 AM

It's always hard to lose a grandparent. Makes us think about getting older ourselves. When I lost my grandfather that I had a similar relationship with, it was a weird feeling.

Kiss Mia and Beth and remind yourself of what a great family you've created.

Posted by: Sharri at August 6, 2006 08:46 AM

My deepest sympathies and condolence to you and your family.

Have safe travels and may your burdens be light these next few days.

My best to Beth and Mia Bean.

Kindly,

Anni :-)

Posted by: Anni at August 6, 2006 01:41 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's always hard to watch someone suffer and loose their independence. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Posted by: Annie at August 6, 2006 02:12 PM

Sorry to read that, it can be hard to know what to feel with grandparents that you're not that close to, but as you say, he's at peace.

Posted by: Katherine at August 6, 2006 05:26 PM

My paternal grandmother is heading in that direction (and we've always been close). She doesn't always know who I am and sometimes comes up with wild things to rant about. When she gets to the point where she really doesn't know what's happening, you can bet your sweet ass we'll all be hoping for release. So sorry to hear of this loss, although it sounds like the timing was right. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Posted by: Elaine at August 6, 2006 05:31 PM

Sorry

:-(

Posted by: Kristin at August 6, 2006 05:33 PM

I'm sorry your grandfather's gone, but glad that that you're at peace ... both of you.

Posted by: Fraulein N at August 6, 2006 06:53 PM

I'm sorry for your family's loss Chris. We just had a very similar situation about 2 months ago in our family. My grandmother passed away after 12 years of degeneration due to a stroke. It was certainly a blessing that she was finally done and at peace.
Hugs to you all and we'll be thinking of your family.

Posted by: tulip at August 6, 2006 07:40 PM

I'm sorry too.
It is too bad you never connected...I wonder what stories are lost now? My grandmother has been sick and this makes me have to get a date set to go and visit her NOW!!!! No time waiting! She is 87 and slowing down. Thanks for the reminder that life can be short!

Hugs to the cactus-fish family. And it doesn't matter if you were close or not, it is still a lose.

Posted by: Gypsy at August 6, 2006 08:26 PM

I am sorry to hear about your emptiness, but I am glad to hear that your grandfather finally found peace.

My grandmother died a couple years ago, we were very close, and her last year was wretched. I cried and ached so much in those days. But when she left this world, there was a huge weight lifted, and for once in a long time I finally felt grounded.

I hope your family will be able to experience that same release with your grandfather's passing.

Posted by: krystyn at August 6, 2006 11:01 PM

Hubby's ex-wife has Alzheimers and it is a sad thing to witness.
Sorry for your loss, Chris.
Hugs!

Posted by: Maribeth at August 7, 2006 07:05 AM

Alzheimers is a strange disease. My grandmother had it as well (although she passed away from battling pneumonia). At one point she thought my parents were her parents, but somehow she always knew who I was. It was sad to see someone who was so active, mentally and physically change like that. I am glad that your grandfather can be at peace and my thoughts are with the Cactus family :)

Posted by: Michelle at August 7, 2006 08:22 AM

I'm sorry. I understand though, that feeling of relief. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Posted by: mamatulip at August 7, 2006 08:36 AM

My husband's grandmother died of Alzheimer's, too. We all breathed a sigh of relief when it was over. It's a horrible way to live/die....

Posted by: haley-o at August 7, 2006 10:22 AM

Chris,
So sorry to hear about your grandfather. It is so hard to see people deteriorate from Alzheimers. I felt the same way (I'm pretty sure I should feel worse than I do) when my Abuelita passed in January. But we grieve for the person they were before the disease took over and we breathe a sigh of release that they no longer have to suffer.
Travel safely.

Posted by: Hannah at August 7, 2006 10:56 AM

I feel you, Mr. Cactus. Losing a relative of close sanguinity but not so close emotionality is kind of a surreal experience. I am sorry that your grandfather will now never have the chance to know and appreciate you as he should have all these years. I hope that he rests in peace.

Posted by: shelley at August 7, 2006 11:01 AM

So sorry for your loss...

Posted by: ::c:: at August 7, 2006 12:24 PM

Sorry for your loss. Alzhemier's took one of my grandfathers, the other lost a long and agonizing battle to ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). It does bring a little peace, I think, knowing that they're no longer in pain.

Posted by: Jason at August 7, 2006 12:40 PM

I am so sorry for your loss Chris.

Posted by: Ava at August 7, 2006 01:32 PM

I know I commented about my grandmother before but I just realized that I had more or less the same reaction when my grandfather (dad's dad) died. My grandmother and I were closer when I was younger but as I got older and her drinking became more and more of a problem, we grew apart. My grandfather and I were never close. I was always afraid of him because he was very tall with a very loud voice and also very bushy eyebrows. He was never mean, per se, but there was never that kindly grandpa thing with him.

Right before starting my sophomore year in high school, he was diagnosed with leukemia - very advanced - and given three to six months to live. He didn't fight, he took his death sentence quite seriously and died about three months after the diagnosis. I never saw him during those three months even though my dad offered to get me excused from school so I could travel to Wyoming with him to visit my grandpa. I couldn't bear to see this big, strong, loud, authoritative superman reduced to a thin, powerless, dying human being. I didn't cry when he died. I didn't really feel too much loss.

It took me a long time to properly mourn his passing. A very good friend of mine who worked with my dad at the time and who helped me tremendously through the whole ordeal of me not dealing with my grandpa's death passed away about four years ago and strangely, that helped me mourn for my grandfather.

Anyway, my too-long point and stuff is...I'm sorry. And if it helps at all, Best Friend and I are sending mental good vibes your way.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at August 7, 2006 02:35 PM

My thoughts are with your family. Peace indeed. Have safe travels.

Posted by: VirgoJen at August 7, 2006 03:37 PM

My condolences. My Grandad had alzheimers to. Horrible, thankless disease.

Posted by: Ginny at August 8, 2006 09:05 AM

I'm so sorry.

Posted by: Colleen at August 8, 2006 02:15 PM

Sory to hear about your loss. Have a safe trip.

Posted by: Janet at August 8, 2006 04:13 PM

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