August 15, 2006

Sometimes The Jokes Write Themselves

When I mentioned yesterday that I'd caulked the kitchen, surely I wasn't the only one who recognized how dirty that sounded, right? You didn't just assume I'd let that go, did you? Because that would be so unlike me.

Posted by Chris at August 15, 2006 07:00 AM

Well done! That makes you the caulk of the walk!

Posted by: Empress at August 15, 2006 07:08 AM

I think all the clerks at Home Depot should have aprons that say Rock Out with Your Caulk Out. I, for one, am glad you didn't attempt Caulksucker.

Posted by: Nicole at August 15, 2006 07:08 AM

You are either a very sick man or a, sick man. LOL

Posted by: Red at August 15, 2006 07:08 AM

How does your wife live with you?

Posted by: Dennis at August 15, 2006 07:13 AM

I think caulk tease is my favorite by far. Too funny!

Posted by: Jessie at August 15, 2006 07:18 AM

so glad you are you!!

Posted by: stinkerbell at August 15, 2006 07:37 AM

I am without words!

Posted by: Jeff A at August 15, 2006 07:44 AM

So many caulks so early in the morning

Posted by: E at August 15, 2006 07:56 AM

Love it! We cant go to Home Depot without my husband turning all Beavis and Butthead when we pass the caulk aisle!

Posted by: Lisa at August 15, 2006 08:28 AM

Beth is so lucky! She's got a man with caulking fantasies!

Posted by: Maribeth at August 15, 2006 08:35 AM

I know it's a dirty job, but someone has to do it!

Posted by: cassie-b at August 15, 2006 08:41 AM


;) wow. i'm wondering what shots didn't make the cut. i don't know why.

Posted by: Sarcomical at August 15, 2006 08:54 AM

Oh God, I just snorted cereal all over my desk.

I demand that you come to my workplace with some Handi-Wipes right now.

Posted by: Liz at August 15, 2006 08:59 AM

seriously, i'm totally still 12 years old. every time my husband says the word "caulk" i burst into hysterics.

Posted by: ali at August 15, 2006 09:08 AM

Who says young parents don't have time for fun?

Only people who don't read this blog. You're insane, Chris, and truly awesome.

Posted by: alektra at August 15, 2006 09:17 AM

hahahahhahh... I'm so glad I'm still at home and haven't gone to work yet, because if people were there, i'd be getting strange looks. roflroflrofl.. :) caulk tease is my favorite, with caulk blocker at a very close second... lmao :) you rock.

Posted by: Manda at August 15, 2006 09:17 AM

I'm just jealous because you obviously get so much more caulk then I do.

Posted by: fauve at August 15, 2006 09:26 AM

Caulk tease rules!
How do you do these things with a straight face??

Posted by: Traci at August 15, 2006 09:28 AM

OMG. You are a goofball.

(Like I didn't already know that, but it just hit me hard this morning).

Posted by: Alison at August 15, 2006 09:35 AM

You. Are. Silly!!! Yay!

Dude, is that tan caulk? If so, where did you find it?!? 'Cause your kitchen tile looks the same color as ours, and "biscuit" still looks terrible...

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at August 15, 2006 09:45 AM

ROFLOL...I wonder if coffee is bad for my keyboard. Oh by the way I now have chaulk envy!

Posted by: MrsJoseGoldbloom at August 15, 2006 09:47 AM

Awesome. You are just too funny. Really. Did you take the pictures yourself or did Beth assist?

Posted by: Alissa at August 15, 2006 09:48 AM

Awesome. You made my morning!

Posted by: Much More Than A Mom at August 15, 2006 10:01 AM

You crack me up. I'm not sure if I like caulk tease or your very serious caulk block face better, but they are all good stuff.

Posted by: bad penguin at August 15, 2006 10:05 AM

You caulk me up! I'm caulking my pants here laughing so hard.

Posted by: Jacqueline at August 15, 2006 10:09 AM


Posted by: ann adams at August 15, 2006 10:15 AM're funny.

Posted by: kim at August 15, 2006 10:16 AM

You simply have too much time on your hands. Dying laughing at "rock out with your caulk out"

Posted by: Peggy at August 15, 2006 10:22 AM

Man, Mia is sure going to get a laugh out of those pictures one day. BTW, are you growing your hair a little longer these days or do I just not see enough picture of your hair to know?

Posted by: alfredsmom at August 15, 2006 10:42 AM

It looks like you had quite the fun with your caulk!! LOL

Posted by: ::c:: at August 15, 2006 10:49 AM

See, no, I *didn't* think anything of it...maybe because 'round these here parts we sort of pronounce the "l" in caulk? So I didn't get it? Until now, of course.

And now I'll never be able to get those images out of my head.

Posted by: candace at August 15, 2006 10:52 AM

I used to work at a Home Depot in the paint department. I loved when the manly, redneck contractors would come to my desk and ask for the big, black caulk. This is not a joke! It REALLY happened! Frequently!

Posted by: heels at August 15, 2006 11:12 AM


Posted by: kara at August 15, 2006 11:14 AM

Did you celebrate afterwards with a caulk-tail?

Posted by: wordgirl at August 15, 2006 11:19 AM

Did I mention that I wheeze when I laugh really hard? 'cause I am in dire need of an inhaler right now... rock out with your caulk out...TOO FUNNY!!!!

Posted by: Sue at August 15, 2006 11:21 AM

A talented wordsmith, indeed! Go to the head of the class!

We will not have you sit on the . . .

cuck·ing stool n
a punishment used in medieval times in which somebody was tied to a stool and pelted with rotting food

Anni :-)

Posted by: Anni at August 15, 2006 11:47 AM

Well done.

Posted by: Bill at August 15, 2006 11:50 AM

Oh my... that was way too funny! I had to try to not laugh out loud cause then I would have to explain to the annoying office mate what I was laughing at, and since she's as old as my mom (although not nearly as cool) I didn't think I would be able to. ROFL!


Posted by: Karen at August 15, 2006 11:56 AM

I still don't understand why your kitchen was leaking, or what it was leaking.

Generally speaking I'm okay with mysteries.

But this is just weird.

Posted by: bhd at August 15, 2006 12:06 PM

I don't even know what to say... very funny just doesn't do it (but it'll have to, cause I'm too sleepy to think of anything else)

Posted by: ktjrdn at August 15, 2006 12:07 PM

That is so caulking funny !

Posted by: Jenn at August 15, 2006 12:26 PM

I'm not ashamed to admit I sat here snickering while looking at the pictures.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at August 15, 2006 12:39 PM

Oh. My. God.

That was too effin' funny! I have no other words. However, I think you forgot one... 'caulksucker'

Posted by: ironic1 at August 15, 2006 01:10 PM

Too f*ing funny, Chris! I'm loving it!

(Oh my god, do I owe McFreakinDonald's money for saying that stupid sentence? I hate those commercials!)

Posted by: Liberal Banana at August 15, 2006 01:14 PM

Not Funny.....

Posted by: kevin at August 15, 2006 01:14 PM

I was going to rock out with my caulk out - but alas. I have no caulk.

Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah at August 15, 2006 01:42 PM

But wait! Where's my favorite?! Caulk-sucker!

Posted by: Pammer at August 15, 2006 02:55 PM

I usually reserve this title for my husband, but today, my friend? Today you earn the moniker of "semantics whore." Wear it with pride.

Posted by: Elaine at August 15, 2006 03:01 PM

I loved that episode of SNL with the caulk. Especially the black caulk.

I think my favorite one is caulk tease.

Posted by: Snickrsnack Katie at August 15, 2006 03:07 PM

Fucking hilarious!

Posted by: VirgoJen at August 15, 2006 05:03 PM

LOL, You're so odd (in a humorous and endearing sort of way)! Now everybody's wondering why I'm sitting at my desk laughing out loud.

Posted by: SMIT at August 15, 2006 05:14 PM

You crack me up!

Posted by: Milly at August 15, 2006 06:13 PM

OMG Chris..your caulk is sooo BIG!


Fucking brilliant post man, just brilliant!!

Posted by: jen at August 15, 2006 07:18 PM

I agree, very well done!

Lots of requests for the caulk-sucker up there.

Bring it on.

Posted by: Janet at August 15, 2006 07:19 PM

I think I might have had a joke, but the nine million people before me have said it all. I love the pictures though.

Posted by: Melissa at August 15, 2006 08:14 PM

It's great to see pictures of you playing with your caulk!

Posted by: Erin at August 15, 2006 08:42 PM

I think you're just trying to distract us from the requests to wear Mia's sunglasses to work...

good try though. good laugh.

Posted by: Sharri at August 15, 2006 09:05 PM

You're getting all caulky on us...

Posted by: Lisa B at August 15, 2006 10:23 PM

And the slow decent into baby induce insanity is complete

Posted by: Pamalamadingdong at August 15, 2006 10:31 PM


Posted by: Beth in StL at August 15, 2006 10:45 PM

you. are. such. a. BOY.

Posted by: krystyn at August 15, 2006 11:36 PM

You have way too much fun with your camera! ;) LOVE IT! LOL!

Posted by: haley-o at August 15, 2006 11:49 PM

Yup. You're weird. And just as twisted as me. Yay.

Posted by: Heather at August 16, 2006 12:39 AM

That is freakin' hilarious! :)

Posted by: Zandria at August 16, 2006 10:13 AM

Hahahaha! I'm happy to see we (the FreezeM and I) are not the only looney's on this planet. Thanks for the laugh! And you look great in those pics, Beth's a lucky lady!

Posted by: Nadine at August 16, 2006 11:34 AM

You are a crack up. I linked on your blog from another blog, blah blah blah. I continue to come back every few days to catch up. I think you are a riot!! Thanks for the laughs as it's been a horrible week for me and this is just the type of laughter needed.

Posted by: Darla at August 16, 2006 12:37 PM

See now here is the comic gold, lol! These are AWESOME!!! I love "Ballcaulk."

Posted by: Kristina at August 16, 2006 01:43 PM

ROFLMAO.... I can't stop laughing. You're so creative. I would have never thought of all this, lol. God I'm lame, lol.. But enough about me... let's get back to you and your fabulous humor. Does this stuff just fall out of your head or do you have put in effort to come up with it? I'm better it all just pops out effortlessly.

Posted by: Tammy at August 17, 2006 12:34 PM

The day you posted this I tried to load your page and I got a horrible trojan virus. I was too chicken shit to try again. So I totally missed out on the funnies! Those are brilliant dude. You are an evil genius.

Posted by: Tink at August 18, 2006 02:25 PM