September 13, 2006

The Last Four Days

OR, WHY I'M WORN OUT

So, by this point you know that I'm on the Vacationless Vacation of '06 Part Deux but since I've been posting all this serious shit, well, you're probably wondering what the hell we're up to.

Saturday. We got sprung! Yep, the in-laws came over and babysat while we went to dinner and - now, hold yourselves in readiness - went to a movie. A real life movie. To put this in perspective for you so that you understand the importance of this, the last movie I saw in a theater was War Of The Worlds before Mia was born (and toupee-wearing Suri, for that matter). We saw Little Miss Sunshine which was without doubt utterly brilliant.

Sunday. We headed to a farm buried amongst the urban sprawl of D.C. It's a real, working farm so Mia got a chance to see chickens, cows and some freakishly stinky pigs. All the things you expect to find on a farm. Oh, including horses. Did you know Sparky hates horses? With a passion. I've heard her wish them all dead. Really.

Monday. Despite the fact that it's been right around the corner for nearly three years, we hadn't bothered to visit the National Air and Space Museum's Dulles center...until Monday. Dudes, it was cool. Airplanes everywhere. And the Space Shuttle! It allowed me to channel my inner 12-year old. Without the farting and giggling. Sparky would have disapproved.

Tuesday. Yesterday, we went to the zoo. Now, I realize that we did this a few months back, but it was unclear exactly what Mia took from that experience. So we tried again with a great deal more success. For the record, all forms of cats, some small mammals and birds are totally kick-ass in Mia's book. Elephants, hippos and just about everything else? Dead to her.

Our visit to the zoo corresponded with the arrival of Inappropriate Man, my alter-ego who makes loud, completely false comments just to see what happens.

Example 1: In the bird-house, trying to find the damn kiwi. We saw precisely nothing but I wanted to screw with the high-school dipshits who were on their way in.
Holy crap, honey! I didn't realize those things were so damn big! And goddamn, I know they have to eat but I can't believe they feed 'em live penguins like that.

Example 2: Upon exiting an exhibit which exhibited precisely nothing and served only as a tucked away area in which we could quietly change Mia.
Who would have guessed that kangaroos could kickbox? What I wanna know? Where do they find gloves for them? Or do they maybe have someone at the zoo making them?

Example 3: While eating lunch.
Well, this is a lot different than our last lunch here. That gibbon we snagged last time was great! Sucker never saw it coming and I guess the zoo didn't notice since they let us in. Gibbons...surprisingly lean and tasty.

Pictures coming soon. Now, what have you been up to? Oh, yeah...I did refer to Beth as "Sparky" throughout this entry. It's her new nickname. Like it?

Posted by Chris at September 13, 2006 06:36 AM
Comments

"Sparky", eh? Yeah. Suits her, actually. :-)

Oh, and here I thought that pat and I were the only ones who enjoyed a good gibbon now and again. Especially tasty with a nice merlot.

Posted by: buzz at September 13, 2006 07:02 AM

Sparky?

It sounds like a great week to me. So far. I hope you had popcorn at the movies. Or did you forget that part? It's been so long.

We're going to see Little Miss Sunshine next. It seems to be getting great reviews from the blog community.

Cas
My best to Sparky and Mia.

Posted by: cassie-b at September 13, 2006 07:04 AM

Sparky? What's Beth think about that?

Sounds like you're having a nice time. You'll need to go back to work on Monday just to relax!

Posted by: Alissa at September 13, 2006 07:48 AM

I pray the day never comes that you and my husband are ever in the same room together. The embarassment that would ensue is making me cringe right now. He lives for moments like you just described. Messing with people is his most favorite hobby.

And Sparky eh? I have a friend with the nickname Sparky, because he likes to "spark up"....Beth getting into the wacky weed these days?

Posted by: Lisa at September 13, 2006 07:57 AM

Sparky? Does this mean you are working on making Mia a new sibling in the near future?

Posted by: Maribeth at September 13, 2006 08:06 AM

Love the zoo...and the new nickname. I'm curious as to how she got it. And yes...pictures anytime.

Posted by: wordgirl at September 13, 2006 08:29 AM

Sparky and Inappropriate Man?! They're my most favoritest crime-fighting team!

Posted by: Fraulein N at September 13, 2006 08:38 AM

Ahhh, the Air and Space Museum always makes me giggle, thinking about Homer Simpson:

"Homer, there's no air in space!"
"Oh, yeah? Then why is there an Air in Space museum??"

Posted by: Kaz at September 13, 2006 08:41 AM

"Sparky" was the name of the dog we had for three days before she tried to eat the cat. Since the cat had seniority, we had to find Sparky a new home.

I hope you decide to keep *your* Sparky.

Posted by: candace at September 13, 2006 09:10 AM

Awww, you guys had a date! Love that!

Posted by: RSM at September 13, 2006 09:47 AM

Sparky? Really??

Having been a 12-year-old girl, rather than boy, when I went to the NASM, I found it pretty dull. Glad you had a good time, though!

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at September 13, 2006 10:21 AM

Sparky, eh? Does that have to do with her love of firemen?

Sounds like the vacationless vacation is going pretty well. I still have to get over to Dulles to check out the new Air & Space Museum myself. I keep hearing how great it is and I'd like to go. Apparently I am a 12 year old boy too.

Posted by: bad penguin at September 13, 2006 10:25 AM

I was reading so fast that I mistook Sparky for Spanky, then realized it by the end...oops!
I had a very similar experience at the zoo last month, the birds were a huge hit, go figure.

Enjoy the rest of your week!

Posted by: Danielle at September 13, 2006 10:31 AM

Hey, Sparky is a great nickname, though it makes me think of Chevy Chase! :)

Hooray for date night!!!! Sounds like you and the family have been having a great time, can't wait for pictures.

Posted by: Kate at September 13, 2006 10:51 AM

Sounds like a good time to me! And maybe Mia will like the other animals more when she gets older and learns more about them, I mean, what little girl doesn't like cats! And big ones too! As for the movies...Glad you two were able to get out and 'live' a little more! Personally I am excited to see Black Dahlia. Should be interesting ^_^ Happy Hump Day too!!

Posted by: Michelle at September 13, 2006 11:00 AM

Sparky makes me think of Chevy Chase since that's the nickname used for him by his wife in all of the National Lampoon's movies. Sounds like you are having an awesome time.

I've heard awesome things about that movie. Maybe Josh and I will make it one of our yearly outings;)!

Posted by: kim at September 13, 2006 11:04 AM

you've been busy!

and i know there's a story behind the sparky name...so spill...

Posted by: suze at September 13, 2006 11:11 AM

The thing is, kangaroos do kind of kick box. I grew up on a farm in Australia and while I had a little eastern grey as a pet, we had fully grown livestock and cattle dogs literally kicked to death by the 6 foot tall red kangaroos. I'm seriously not pulling your leg. Big red kangaroos are really aggressive!

Glad you're having a good non-vacation (and that you finally saw "Little Miss Sunshine"!).

Posted by: E :) at September 13, 2006 11:22 AM

Oh Lord...you sound like my Father with his inappropriately loud inappropriately public weird comments that embarassed me to no end, especially during the pre-teen/teen years. You are really going to enjoy those!

Posted by: Kelly at September 13, 2006 11:22 AM

Sparky. Hah. That is my nickname for my husband. :o)

Posted by: jen at September 13, 2006 11:24 AM

Nicknames can be contagious. I've started calling my husband CJ to family. Which confuses the hell out of them. (Many of our friends call him that, and I struggle between Matt and CJ in my head and half the time the wrong one comes out.) I just need to remember not to call him that to his mom.

Sounds like a fab week so far. My personal stay-at-home vacation from the hubby ends tonight!! YAY.

Posted by: Autumn at September 13, 2006 12:08 PM

I'm with Sparky - I hate horses and wish they were dead. But I would have really liked the pigs!

Posted by: Jen at September 13, 2006 12:54 PM

Did she shove spark plugs up your nose or something? How did she get that nickname?

Also, awesome comments. My dad does the same thing. And so I do, consequently.

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at September 13, 2006 02:13 PM

i don't like horses either.

Posted by: jodi at September 13, 2006 02:32 PM

Someone who accompanies you on a trip to the zoo would definitely not have a boring time. :)

Posted by: Zandria at September 13, 2006 03:04 PM

It's because she's so "bright" isn't it? ;)

Posted by: Tink at September 13, 2006 03:26 PM

I do like it, but the real question is, does she? I will go to her site in a minute. The eating penguins one had me laughing out loud.

Oh but I read the weirdest thing about you yesterday. You're an only child? Really? But..but..you seem so normal. ;)

Posted by: Melissa at September 13, 2006 04:00 PM

At first I was laughing hysterically about Mr. Inapporpriate. Then I thought...that poor, poor child.

LOLOL

Posted by: Evil Genious at September 13, 2006 07:03 PM

Awesome! You guys are adorable. And Sparky? Um...sweet. ;-)

Posted by: Heather at September 13, 2006 08:53 PM

And what does Beth think of being Sparky?

Posted by: Heather at September 13, 2006 10:03 PM

I heard Little Miss Sunshine was awesome. You MUST see The Illusionist next time. Promise me, kay? It's unbelievably stunning, original. Loved it. :) Mia is so adorable--I'm not surprised she loves the cats.... :)

Posted by: haley-o at September 13, 2006 11:38 PM

Hehehe..I like Sparky for Beth, I bet she hates it though. And yes, pics needed soon. :)
Ooh and Little Miss. Sunshine, totally amazing!
P.S: I miss being able to check your site from work :((

Posted by: Dee at September 14, 2006 12:09 AM

I LOVED Little Miss Sunshine. And while I'm a huge fan of Beth I'm not a fan of "Sparky," sorry - the name brings back some bad memories.

Posted by: Beth in StL at September 14, 2006 12:22 AM

Oh, man - I am Mr. Inappropriate myself. It is one of my favorite things in life - my daughter is so going to hate me...

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