September 29, 2006

Schadenfreude Friday: Well, Duh

Another week, another load of great material. But sadly, I've had about as much sleep as Paris Hilton has brain cells so forgive me if I choose the easy targets.

...probably from the AP...I forget...

Photographer Larry Birkhead, a former boyfriend of
Anna Nicole Smith, tells Us Weekly magazine that, no matter what a national TV audience was told Tuesday night, he's the real father of the reality TV star's newborn girl. And he's seeking a DNA test to prove it.

Smith's lawyer and spokesman, Howard K. Stern, told CNN's "Larry King Live" on Tuesday that he is the "proud father" of the girl, Dannie Lynn Hope, born Sept. 7, and he plans to marry Smith "at some point."

"Right now we have to somehow get through what we're going through," said Stern, referring to the Sept. 10 death of Smith's son, Daniel Smith. The 20-year-old Smith died of unknown causes at his mother's hospital bedside in the Bahamas.

"And I'll tell you, our baby is the one ray of hope," Stern said.

First, I think it kinda sucks having to hear about this woman any more than is absolutely necessary. And truthfully, it sucks to be her. She's a sad, disturbed mess who has been, up to this point, fun to watch but her son's death had to be an unimaginable blow. Now this. Can you imagine two non-lobotomized individuals actually fighting over got jiggy with her most recently? From where I'm sitting, you don't want to be that guy. Unless you're one of the next guys, and then you'd be pretty much happy being anyone else...

...can't remember where this is from either but if I had to guess, I'd say the AP...

Dallas police have classified Terrell Owens' case as an "accidental overdose," not an attempted suicide, closing their investigation Thursday of the Cowboys receiver's hospitalization.

Authorities also released a recording of the brief 911 call Thursday that brought rescue workers to Owens' home, in which publicist Kim Etheredge said "I think he took too many pills" but never mentioned her client's name or said anything about a suicide attempt.

Police Chief David Kunkle said he had "great confidence" in his officers' initial report, which said rescue workers responded late Tuesday night to an attempted "suicide by prescription pain medication."

Certainly sucks to be either T.O. or the cops. But I guess T.O. has some consolation since he's a freak but a freak with more money than god. So, what do you think - did T.O. try and off himself or not?

Posted by Chris at September 29, 2006 07:19 AM

I just think it's two sad situations and I hope they play out okay for everyone concerned.

Also, Friday is the new Monday since I just had two days off and have 5 workdays stretching out ahead of me. Feel free to have some of that there schaden-whatsit for me too. Wah.

Posted by: Contrary at September 29, 2006 07:40 AM

Whether T.O. just took his substance abuse too far by accident, or did it intentionally, I hope he gets the help he needs.

That's no way to live. No one deserves that kind of torment.

Posted by: Allan at September 29, 2006 07:42 AM

I heard on the radio this morning that Anna Nicole and her lawyer already got married on a white catamaran, she in a pink bikini. And that their marriage, according to Bahamas law, will dissolve any parental rights Birkhead would have, even if he is the bio dad.

It's all so sick and wrong.

Posted by: Nicole at September 29, 2006 07:56 AM

How warped is my world that I think it's nice that these people are willing to claim the little little girl. I find it extremely inappropriate to be fighting it out in the limelight though. Most of the time it's the other way around, with guys wanting to deny, deny, deny. But whatever.

As for T.O. ... for some reason it makes me uncomfortable to wonder whether he meant to kill himself or not. If he did, I hope he gets help. If he didn't, well, it'll still be hard to live it down and some people will treat him negatively for it. On top of the already negative reactions he gets for just being who he is. I'm still no fan but I don't wish him ill.

Posted by: pea at September 29, 2006 07:59 AM

Its so easy to overdose on pain pills. People have no idea. I think people who have to take them get a whole hell of a lot more shit then they need. I lived on opiates for over a year. It's the only way I walked some days. Get off your fucking high horses world.

That said, if he's abusing them (and by abusing I mean not being properly prescribed them for a medical reason) that pisses me off to no ended because its behavior like that that gives those who are a bad bad rap.

Anna Nicole is allowed to reproduce? *sigh*

Posted by: autumn at September 29, 2006 08:16 AM

People who aren't abusing them. *sigh* I need to finish my tea before I rant about medicine. blah.

Posted by: autumn at September 29, 2006 08:18 AM

Dude, everyone hated T.O. before--he was a cocky, selfish, wife-abusing, asshole. And now all of a sudden everyone's 'concerned' and hoping he's okay and shit. You tell ME if it was on purpose!!!!

I'm guessing he has the same publicist as Tom Crui-zy.

(I know that seems harsh, but if you don't get that then you probably don't like the NFL too much, right?)

Posted by: andy at September 29, 2006 08:43 AM

I am just glad the T.O. thing happened while he was playing for Dallas. Not Phila. Go Eagles.

Posted by: Bill at September 29, 2006 08:44 AM

OMG, I was going to blog about the T.O. thing myself. First let me say I live in Dallas but I HATE the Cowboys. I actually dislike most pro football b/c they tend to be thugs treated like kings for no good reason. But the Cowboys? So much worse than anywhere I've ever lived. I think it's laughable that everyone involved knows it was a suicide attempt, but the police have been strong-armed by their freakin' football team into stating for the record that it wasn't. Oh, but we stand behind our officers and their account of the story. Which is really just admitting that it was a suicide attempt but Jerry Jones has enough pull in the DPD to spin it how he wants.

Not that I have an opinion on the matter, right?

Posted by: donna at September 29, 2006 08:44 AM

Think you missed a good one, possibly due to lack of sleep. Here you go.
Okay okay, TMZ isn't the best news source, but it's still funny.

Posted by: Cassandra at September 29, 2006 09:05 AM

I don't have a comment on Terrell Owens. I don't know, so I won't say.

As for Anna Nicole...she sold the last pictures of her son, with her and the baby in the hospital, to a TABLOID for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Tacky. I don't *care* what she's using the money for, it's tacky. And wrong.

Posted by: candace at September 29, 2006 09:07 AM

I think whichever it is with TO he's needed help for a while. He's had problems whereever he played (beginning with SF). I hope he gets it.

As for Anna Nicole, it's tragic to lose a child. The rest is too strange for me.

Hope you have a restful weekend and that your Peanut is feeling better.

Posted by: ann adams at September 29, 2006 09:29 AM

seriously, sometimes your friday material is just handed right to you. :)

Posted by: ali at September 29, 2006 09:48 AM

T.O.'s ego is too big to commit suicide; he wouldn't want to deprive the world of himself.

Posted by: Jenn at September 29, 2006 09:59 AM

Oh Goo dlord! So first of all, did he or didn't he? Ok I think he did! I can' rememebr where I heard it from , but being here in Houston, there was plenty of coverage also. And someone on the news said that when his lady arrived and was calling 911, that he took another pill!
Now if he had just forgotten that he had already taken 20, ok great no attempted suicide! lol You tell me! (ok so maybe it wasnt 20, but who forgets that they have taken ALOT and then takes another) Just my spew!

Poor Poor Anna~ I don't even know where to start. Good Grief! Its like a train wreck that KEEPS happening with that broad! The train just keeps coming offt he tracks. I mean its a terrible terrible thing to lose a child. I pray each and everyday that I don't ever know that kind of pain. But good lord, when does it stop for her? Maybe she never should have given Howard Marshall that BJ in the back room of the strip club, who knows maybe things might have turned out differently for her? Doubtful but maybe! Theres my two cents worth, if its worth that much!lol

Posted by: CJ at September 29, 2006 10:00 AM

Back before I knew him, my husband overdosed on painkillers after having two of his wisdom teeth pulled. This was due to the fact that he does pay much attention to directions and so he just kept taking pills without paying attention to how long it had been since the last one. So, that could have happened to T.O. That said, sure T.O. does like to get attention, so who knows.

I feel sorry for Anna Nicole Smith on any number of levels.

Posted by: bad penguin at September 29, 2006 10:00 AM

The initial reports said that the rescue workers saw TO putting *more* painkillers in his mouth. Hardly the action of someone "accidentally overdosing."

Honestly, if I was TO, I wouldn't want to live with myself either.

On a more serious note, I hope that (if he really did try to off himself) he gets some help. As much as I think that he's a total cretin, I'm sure that there are people who love and care about him. It would be really sad for him to leave them all behind, broken.

Posted by: Hope at September 29, 2006 10:09 AM

I think T.O. is more deserving of a "bag full of nickels" conversation than an "oh poor baby, hope you're feeling better" intervention - perhaps I'm being bitter since I perceive him as being a overly privilaged individual?

On the other hand, for all her wackiness, my heart goes out to Anna - I wish her a long, quiet, peaceful life.

I suppose that makes me a hypocrite since both individuals have made life decisions that are easy to disagree with, both individuals have been exploited in one way or another, yadda yadda - but I'm oddly comfortable with my opinion.

Posted by: Betti at September 29, 2006 11:26 AM

Someone asked in one of the above replies if Anna Nicole should be reproducing. I got one thing to say: why not when there are millions of drug addicts out there who are having more than 2 children and making their lives miserable and the goverment does not do anything because they have a right to reproduce. Oh yes, they will call child services after the baby is born to a crack/cocaine/meth/alcoholic parent.

I do not see what is the big deal with her having children. When you have a client who is prostituting her 8 year old child so she an get another hit then you have a right to say s*&^%& like that.

Posted by: Katherine at September 29, 2006 11:44 AM

My guess would be he tried to kill himself. But the stigma of having depression probably would have hurt his career badly so they have to cover it up. It will be a great day when having depression doesn't ruin ones career.

Posted by: Pixie at September 29, 2006 12:06 PM

I totally think T.O. tried to off himself (sorry not gonna be nice about it). He's a had a history of not being mentally/emotionally stable and I know that at least the 49ers coach tried to get him to get some psych help, but T.O. refused.

Regarding Anna, it's just sad. Everything. A pp mentiooned that they heard the marriage in the Bahamas would disolve any parental rights the other guy might've had. If they decided to reside in the US, can't dude's parental rights be upheld, at least after a dna test?

Posted by: Carrie Jo at September 29, 2006 12:14 PM

Gah. Im so tired of the news. ( not your version, just bad sad news altogether).

But, I'll take this time to wish you a happy weekend! The weather is suppse to be great in SC hopefully it will be good up there too! And I hope Mia is doing better so yall can have a nice family weekend!

Posted by: alfredsmom at September 29, 2006 02:07 PM

gosh. i could see why being an uber-millionaire could be so hard to deal with.

Posted by: b. at September 29, 2006 02:16 PM

I have to say I'm feeling a little less sorry for Anna Nicole since the marriage reports surfaced. I know everybody grieves in their own way, but... having a big wedding party, that quickly? Really?

I'd never heard of the football guy before the OD reports, so I can't guess whether he was trying to or not. I guess I find it a little hard to believe that you could just *accidentally* take too many pills, but maybe if you're already overly medicated it's harder to count?

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at September 29, 2006 02:16 PM

I am so tired of these super-star, uber-rich, got the world by the balls whiny pathetic athletes, celebrity etcs.......Attempted suicide or not, this guy is a notorious pain in the ass in the locker room kind of guy. Why dont these people ever get on their hands and knees and thank God for what they have been given in the ways of talent and compensation??? Unbelievable!! And the ones who get shot at seedy night clubs and stab or shoot their wives or girlfriends.....un real!! They really wouldnt be able to survive one day in the real world. Hike up your skirts girls!

Posted by: Mad Mom at September 29, 2006 02:20 PM

Sorry, but to be honest, I just don't care enough about either of them.

I felt a twinge of sadness for Nicole over her son. I would imagine any parent would. The thought of the lose of a child is horrendous, to have your child while sitting at your bedside for "no apparent reason." If that were the case, I would be the one needing pain pills.

Posted by: Latte Man at September 29, 2006 03:56 PM

T.O. hadn't been getting enough attention lately and needed to generate some. Anna Nicole is just trash, trash, trash. I'm sorry her son died, but she could have mourned a little more before getting married.

Posted by: Beth in StL at September 29, 2006 07:17 PM

Sadly their lives make all the things happen to me seem trival. As much as I think she's a brainless bimbo, my heart broke for her and still does. I did see her with her son, and I believe in whatever manner she could she loved him the best she knew how. To give birth and to be joyous only to have it shadowed by the death...really nothing much worse than that.

I can't believe that arse married her when she was in a state of numb.

Get some sleep, you'll have two more brain cells than paris since she has none.

Posted by: Michele at September 29, 2006 08:29 PM

I really dont think that T.O. did try it. I know he is a freak and all but I just dont see THAT in him. It feels like it got hyped up by the cops and the media. I think he is trying to be the highest paid player never to play.

Posted by: linda at September 29, 2006 10:27 PM

Anna's situation is truly pathetic, but somehow I feel bad to say this, I dont feel anything about it. I mean sure its sad and all that her son died and all, but look at can her kid not be fucked up???
And T.O? All I can say is There is no such thing as bad publicity. Bring on the moolah!

Posted by: Dee at September 30, 2006 12:54 AM

Like they say, money (and fame?) corrupts. I think both Anna and T.O. have become their own worst enemies. "No press is bad press, and it's best to stay IN the press at all costs."

What a sick, sick state of affairs for them both. If I was a more religious person, I'd seriously pray for them.

Posted by: Evil Genius at September 30, 2006 08:33 PM

I can see accidentally overdosing on pain pills b/c you were too whacked out on pain pills to know how many you've taken....but 35??!! I don't think you can "accidentally" take 35 pills.

Either way, that's one expensive broken finger the Cowboys are paying for.

Posted by: kalisah at September 30, 2006 11:28 PM

Although I've heard more than enough abot Ana Nicole, I will say that they way her son died was bizarre. The way he was just sitting up in the chair. No mother should ever have to experience this. But you gotta wonder why such a young man would be on Methadone.

I don't know much about T.O., other than what my husband tries to tell me. And that just goes in one ear and out the other, which happens with most sports related stuff.

Posted by: Nila at October 1, 2006 03:44 AM

T.O. is pretty adamant that it was not a suicide. And since they found the rest of his "missing" pills in the drawer, that kind of weakens the suicide theory. So I'm guessing the allergic reaction was the real cause.

Posted by: SMIT at October 1, 2006 09:25 PM

I feel bad for Anna Nicole. I cannot imagine what it would feel like to lose a child. I'm sure she is numb from all the post partum hormones as well as Daniel's death--so why on earth would her lawyer, who is supposed to be looking out for her best interests, add speculation to who the father is by talking about this on Larry King? She obviously didn't want to discuss it or she would have announced paternity earlier. And then to marry her while she was grieving and healing from the birth? Maybe it was a legal move to establish paternity, like one of the other comments said, but I can tell you that he is violating all kinds of ethics rules concerning the proper scope of an attorney client relationship. I'm not a fan of Howard K. Stern. Anna, I kind of feel sorry for.

Posted by: FFF at October 3, 2006 02:52 PM

Who cares? He's an overblown, overpaid athlete. That's what I think. You asked. ;-)

Posted by: Jazzy at October 3, 2006 05:42 PM