October 20, 2006

Schadenfreude Friday: Mean Mr. Mustard, uh, McCartney

Divorce is rough (I'm guessing here). Celebrity divorce is just flat harsh. I offer you a little proof, courtesy of Sir Paul.

Paul McCartney, estranged wife Heather and daughter Beatrice all stand to lose from public mudslinging in an increasingly ugly divorce, lawyers warn.

Allegations against the former Beatle appearing in leaked court documents this week could damage his wholesome reputation, and were unlikely to boost Heather Mills McCartney's financial position in any settlement, they said.

The couple's daughter Beatrice, who is nearly three, is also likely to find out about the claims in the future.

The documents claim McCartney used illegal drugs and drank excessively, hurled abuse at Mills and made her cancel an operation on the leg she lost in a traffic accident before they married because it interfered with his holiday plans.

They also said McCartney did not want her to breastfeed their baby daughter, saying "they are my breasts."

McCartney's lawyers responded by saying he would defend the allegations "vigorously and appropriately."

Mills' representatives in the divorce, which has become so bitter one newspaper described it on Thursday as "toxic," deny she had anything to do with leaking the documents to the press.

Here are some specifics straight from the divorce papers...

  • The Petitioner has been physically violent towards the Respondent.
    In breach of his promises to the Respondent made when she agreed to marry him, the Petitioner continued to use illegal drugs and to consume alcohol to excess, throughout the marriage, thereby causing the Respondent distress…
  • On 12 May 2003, when the Petitioner and the Respondent were in a hotel in Rome and the Respondent was four weeks' pregnant, the Petitioner behaved coldly and with indifference towards the Respondent, who was distressed by a derogatory newspaper article about her. An argument ensued between them in the bathroom during which the Petitioner became angry and pushed the Respondent into the bath. The Respondent suffered shock and distress. Notwithstanding this, the Petitioner procured the Respondent's attendance at his concert that evening by instructing his staff to pester her until she relented.
  • In Long Island in August 2003 the Respondent asked the Petitioner if he had been smoking marijuana. He became very angry, yelled at her, grabbed her neck and started choking her.
  • Shortly after the Respondent's revision amputation surgery, she was forced to crawl on her hands and knees up aeroplane steps because they were not wide enough to take her wheelchair. The Petitioner had assured the Respondent that he had taken care of her disability needs in connection with the trip (which he compelled her to take with him), but in fact he had not troubled to do so.
  • The Petitioner often told the Respondent when she was pregnant that he did not want her to breast-feed their child, making on occasion the comment "they are my breasts" and on another occasion, "I don't want a mouthful of breast milk." Notwithstanding this, the Respondent did breast-feed Beatrice until, after six weeks, the Petitioner's constant interrupting of her when breast-feeding (often in the presence of a midwife) had become so intolerable to her that she gave up. This made her feel very miserable and demoralised.
  • On Tuesday, 25 April, 2006, following an operation on the Respondent's amputated leg, an argument occurred during which the Petitioner poured the balance of a bottle of red wine over the Respondent's head and then threw what remained in his wine glass at the Respondent. The Petitioner then reached to grab the Respondent's wine glass, and broke the bowl of the glass from the stem. He then lunged at the Respondent with the broken, sharp stem of the wine glass, which cut and pierced the Respondent's arm just below the elbow, and it began to bleed profusely. He proceeded to manhandle the Respondent, flung her into her wheelchair and wheeled it outside, screaming at her to apologise for "winding him up". The Respondent still bears the scar of the assault.

Folks, it appears this Real Love is over. Hello, Goodbye and that's The End. No more Golden Slumbers for these two. In fact, it looks like Paul needs some Help! Most of us just could have Let It Be but Paul swings his temper like Maxwell's Silver Hammer spinning a web of intrigue worthy of a Paperback Writer. Well, I've Got A Feeling She's Leaving Home leaving Paul as The Fool On The Hill. What's next? Tomorrow Never Knows. Just goes to prove that Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey.

Posted by Chris at October 20, 2006 07:16 AM

I don't have a good song title poem at the moment, because it's the middle of the night. Or 6am. Whatever.

Anyway, Good God Almighty. If even half that crap is true, Paul totally just stopped being the cute Beatle.

Posted by: Contrary at October 20, 2006 07:29 AM

At the risk of sounding like my grandmother: What is this world comingn to? How can any human being treat another like that? I don't understand all the hate and anger in the world. :-(

Posted by: Heather at October 20, 2006 07:41 AM

Wow...very disappointing, for some reason I never pictured Paul as realty tv material. Who knew he was so unstable?

Posted by: Lisa at October 20, 2006 07:58 AM

You are too, too clever for words.

Posted by: Alissa at October 20, 2006 08:01 AM

perhaps I'm a being shallow, but wasn't Heather a porn star before she married Paul? Perhaps I'm just holding to childhood allegience, but I think "The Respsondant" is the more suspicious (perhaps sneaky?) of the two charaters . . .

Posted by: Betti at October 20, 2006 08:21 AM

Dear Boy or may i say Dear Friend, Maybe I'm Amazed, Yesterday...you were sleeping on the couch...today you take something so Ebony And Ivory and Spin It On into a post that proves Love Is Strange.
That Would Be Something if he treated The Lovely Linda how he allegedly treated heather, Nobody Knows; until Tomorrow;)

Posted by: Nanette at October 20, 2006 08:23 AM

Maybe I'm Amazed at your last paragraph...good one. ;)

Posted by: mamatulip at October 20, 2006 08:24 AM

Do you think if I were in that situation, I could just tell him that "that is my penis" and kick him repeatedly in it? I'm thinking that's my plan if I ever marry a moronic rock star.

Posted by: Leah at October 20, 2006 08:26 AM

Ummm...those are all from Beatle's songs...are you insinuating Paul was in a band BEFORE Wings???

I know, I know...I was joking.

My only comments are about how really sad it is to see a 64 year old man in this predicament. I know I'm not a man, and I know there are many times I can't begin to figure out what a man wants out of a relationship. BUT, my dad used to say, "Now, before you go off and do something, just think about how you'd feel if it was on the evening news cast. Would you be pleased or embarrased that everyone saw it?"

Come on, that old guy has been living in everyone's evening news cast for 40 years.

Posted by: kristen at October 20, 2006 08:27 AM

At least this news cast takes away from that stupid Brittney baby crap. That was getting old. I'm glad I'm not a celebrity, too much BS to deal with.

Posted by: Michelle at October 20, 2006 08:37 AM

(Schadenfreude Haiku 4 U)

Paul and Heather split
Lala how the life goes on
Anyone want coffee?

Posted by: Allan at October 20, 2006 08:48 AM

Maybe I am biased, being a big Paul fan, but.. you know she could have written anything she wanted in those papers.

We should let due process take its course.

Unless he's being held as an enemy combatant, then they can just do whatever the heck they want to him. Screw due process.

Posted by: Kaz at October 20, 2006 08:52 AM

Wow. Thank God my divorce was amicable and my husband was not a rock star (although I might have gotten a hefty settlement if he were! oh well).

Posted by: Heather at October 20, 2006 09:04 AM

True enough - you can allege whatever you want in divorce papers. Only time will tell if she's got the goods to back up her allegations.

Posted by: Traci at October 20, 2006 09:06 AM

Ah...the Long and Winding Road of divorce...

What do you call a pirate with 2 arms, one, leg and a bad temper?

Heather Mills McCartney.


Posted by: oakley at October 20, 2006 09:30 AM

Is it sad that I want her to be a lying bitch? 'Cause I love Paul and would be really sad if even a quarter of those allegations were true.

I took a Beatles class in college and, from everything that we read, Paul seemed like a truly, truly nice guy. He's either been hiding it well for decades or Heather is crrrrrrazy. I really and sincerely hope that it's the second.

And, how sad for their daughter. No matter how this turns out, she's going to know that at least one of her parents is a lying sack of shit.

Posted by: Hope at October 20, 2006 09:41 AM

Having been divorced m'self, and knowing the lies my ex liked/s to throw around to get sympathy, I'm taking all of Miss Petitioner Heather's statements with a big grain of salt. Granted, we can't really ask Linda how their marriage was, but that would have been an awfully long time to stay together if he was really that big an ass.

I'm inclined to think Paul's biggest sin was choosing a gold-digging trophy wife for his second time around, who no longer wants to need or feed him, now he's 64.

Regardless, I feel very sorry for their daughter.

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at October 20, 2006 09:58 AM

Hm. Last time I heard about this divorce it was, "it's the media's fault", now it's "He's abusive and a drunk."

geez. i agree with Contrary. if it's all true... paul = no longer the cute beatle

Posted by: denise at October 20, 2006 10:00 AM

Here's the thing: she can say ANYTHING she wants in those papers. My soon-to-be-former sister-in-law told all kinds of lies in her divorce papers. It's causing a lot of problems for my brother, who hasn't been allowed to see his sixteen-year-old daughter because of the allegations. My nephews (21 and 25) are totally pissed at their mother for lying and they're siding with their dad. It all really sucks.

My point is that Mills could be making shit up, or she could be exaggerating. I hope she is, because Paul McCartney has always seemed like a decent guy. And that's the other thing: by all *other* accounts, he really *is* a decent guy. Things like this don't just happen overnight, you know?

Posted by: candace at October 20, 2006 10:01 AM

I think I fall in on Candace's side of this. How can Paul McCartney have all of a sudden turned into this monster? With the media being the way they are, wouldn't we have heard of rumors of his issues well before this? I am not a fan of tabloids at all, but you have to hand it to them that they sniff out what's really going on usually. How many times have they broken some story, only to have the celebs deny, deny, deny, then a few months later say, "oh yeah, that was true."

I kind of think she is just trying to do what she can to get her hands on his money. I stand by my Paul!

Posted by: donna at October 20, 2006 10:36 AM

Dude, I was just staring my post for today about the same thing. I mean, this whole deal is just horrible. Horrible, I say.

That being said, I can't wait to hear more.

Posted by: Isabel at October 20, 2006 11:19 AM

After reading this Paul is irreversibly a turd-burglar............

I wonder if he'll write a song about picking on amputees?

Posted by: Rachel at October 20, 2006 11:37 AM

when the guy who set them up originally writes an open letter of apology for doing so, one has to wonder at the validity of her statements and also one has to remeber, as I believe has already been pointed out, that these allegations have not been laid in criminal proceedings, but simply in civil divorce proceedings where one can say anything or allege (key word being allege) anthing one desires

personally, I think that these allegations tell more about Heather's character than anything else

just my two cents, mind

Posted by: Kathryn at October 20, 2006 11:49 AM

DAMN. That's just not right. Moreso if it's true (and I have no reason to believe it isn't.)

Oh... right.... Coo coo ka choo and Ballroom Blitz.

Posted by: Greg at October 20, 2006 12:02 PM

I somehow just deleted my comment as I was about to hit post. I'll try again...

Like has been pointed out here, it seems really unlikely that someone who maintained a rep as such a good guy for DECADES could suddenly be a big, bad bully who beats up on his pregnant, amuptee wife. Stranger things have happened, of course, but I think the person with problems here is Heather - not Paul. Didn't his kids dislike her from the start? Looks like they were on to her right away.

Perhaps Paul should do a cover of that Kanye West song, "Goldigger" - "If you ain't no punk holla 'We Want Prenup'/'WE WANT PRENUP!,' Yeah/It's something that you need to have/
Cause when she leave yo ass she gonna leave with half/Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger..."

Posted by: erin at October 20, 2006 12:05 PM

I can't think of the words to respond to this.. I failed to read about the specifics around this divorce.. What a dick.

Posted by: molly at October 20, 2006 12:08 PM

Puleeeze!! I am totally biased as the #1 Beatles fan of all time, but c'mon. If Paul beat the crap out her, she probably deserved it!

Hahahahaha. I'm kidding. I love me some Paul, but I have hated Heather from the beginning. He's a putz for sure for falling for her BS. She is a self-serving, opportunistic parasite. I wish she'd just go back to porn and leave us all alone. I am fairly certain that she is a lying sack of shit who clearly has issues. She probably pushed his buttons a lot and pissed him right off. But I don't think he is the abusive monster she says. We'd have known about it before now. Because people love this shit. No one is immune from that, not even Paul.

I do feel sorry for Bea though. Poor kid with a skeevy hoor for a mom!

Did I happen to mention I might be biased?

Posted by: anita at October 20, 2006 01:50 PM

If Linda were alive, she'd tell us whether or not this true or total bullshit. All I know is that the image of a man who doesn't eat meat for political reasons, eschews fur and leather and raised his kids in what appeared to be a very "naturalist" environment seems to be incongrous with a man who disses breastfeeding...and is afraid of a little breastmilk. That's all I'm saying.

Posted by: wordgirl at October 20, 2006 02:17 PM

Aren't you just so clever with that last sentence. Brilliant work.

Oh. And also. Holy crap! Makes me re-thing the arguments in my house that I thought were Crazy As Hell.

Posted by: Cartwheels At Midnight at October 20, 2006 02:18 PM

Wow. Just. Wow. I'm so disappointed. I liked disliking her more than I'm liking disliking him. Wow. Just. Wow. Those are some plain evil allegations....But, they are just allegations. Who knows what's true or what's not. Reality (never mind Romance) is dead!

Posted by: Haley-O at October 20, 2006 02:22 PM

Not so good, Norweigan wood.

Posted by: Vaguely Urban at October 20, 2006 03:03 PM

I thought she was digging for gold from the very beginning. Poor Paul, he must be saying to himself, "I guess money Can't Buy Me Love."

Am I really the first person to use that song title?

Posted by: Beth in StL at October 20, 2006 10:51 PM

You are such a clever cactus. That last paragraph was brilliant. I've been talking to Brits tonight, so everything is "brilliant".

Posted by: Nila at October 21, 2006 01:01 AM

Poor Paul must "Carry That Weight" because it's doubtful they'll "Come Together" anytime soon. I'm sure Paul wishes he were "Free As A Bird" so he can "Get Back" to the "Yellow Submarine", where he'll stop feeling like the "No Where Man".

Posted by: Maribeth at October 21, 2006 09:05 AM

Wow. Like wordgirl, I'm pretty shocked. I know celebrities like him work to keep their image squeaky clean, but this seems too over the top for some reason.

Posted by: Kristen at October 21, 2006 04:52 PM

I say shame on the soon to be former Mrs. McCartney. According to her claim, she knew he used drugs, drank and had a tendancy to be dramatic and "physically violent." Then she married him and -- gasp! -- he kept using drugs, drank, and became dramatic and violent when they argued.

Granted, if these allegations are true then yeah, Sir Paul is an asshole. But I've met some assholes in my life, and never have I met a closet asshole. You know pretty early on that they're an asshole, and they never change. And if you marry one, then you're either a masochist, or he's got a lot of frelling money making it worth the four years of "distress" and "demoralization."

Posted by: Krystyn at October 22, 2006 01:15 PM

I'm shocked as well. It's just very, very sad.

Posted by: Janet at October 22, 2006 09:35 PM

Um, out of all of this you want to know what I got? The fact that the divorce papers say that she had to crawl up the airplane steps on her hands and knees. It makes me question that this is really from the actual divorce papers, because, um, she has only one knee.

Posted by: Jessie at October 23, 2006 10:41 AM