December 12, 2006

An Entry About Nothing

A blogger's worst nightmare? The bizarre yet, I'm guessing, occasional confluence of a) a dearth of time with which to blog and b) no ideas about things to blog if you had the actual time to blog. Which you don't. Especially if you is me. And then what do you do? You throw together a pretty sentence with words like dearth and confluence with the hope that those choice semantic nuggets blind readers to the fact that, well, you haven't actually said anything.

I know, I know...I haven't actually said anything.

I got to work yesterday before the sun came up and got home long after it went down. Today? More of the same. Instead of late afternoon meetings, though, I have a dinner thing co-workers. Which is nice, don't get me wrong, but those co-workers aren't Mia or Beth. Sure, I appreciate the fact that none of them will fling their dinners in my general (or specific) direction unless things get totally out of hand. But still. When I get home late, I don't see my little girl. And daddy isn't happy when he doesn't get to see his little girl.

Which leads me to the conclusion that I need to hone my ninja skills.

See, the floorboards in Mia's room creak a bit. Sneaking in to get a peek of my sleeping little girl requires a zen-like ability to hover inches above the floor or the trained techniques employed by the finest of cat burglars and ninjas. Unless I want to wake her up, which I don't want to do.

If you need me, I'll be in meetings. And if I'm not in meetings, chances are good that I'm in my office, door closed, practicing my ninja skills.

Aside: I'm very well aware that this is a total clusterfuck of an entry, made even worse by this little aside. You ever had one of those days in which you couldn't string two meaningful words together no matter how hard you tried? That's today. But thanks for reading anyway. I bow to you, fine people. Really, I do. You guys rock. How else could I explain the fact that you stop by and read even when its just crap like this?

Posted by Chris at December 12, 2006 07:19 AM

How did I get to be first? Right, because I woke up at 4 a.m.

S'okay. I go through entire weeks not thinking of a thing to say.

Like now.

Posted by: ann adams at December 12, 2006 07:36 AM

An entry about nothing. Like Seinfeld, only a blog instead of a TV show :-)

I have two little boys that fancy themselves expert ninjas. I'd be happy to lend them out for your training, if you like...

Posted by: Alissa at December 12, 2006 07:53 AM

Your meaningless crap is still more thought provoking and interesting than half the other crap out there.

Posted by: Lisa at December 12, 2006 08:05 AM

Ninja's rock.

Posted by: William at December 12, 2006 08:06 AM

Hee. I do love the word "clusterfuck."

Posted by: Leah at December 12, 2006 08:08 AM

how come your crap sounds better than my actual posts? about actual things?

Posted by: ali at December 12, 2006 08:21 AM

you had me at clusterfuck......

Posted by: the speckledpup at December 12, 2006 08:32 AM

I have those days every day, even your bad days are funny. I understand your crankiness when you dont get your Mia fix!

Good luck with your tippy toe tactics!

Posted by: Steff at December 12, 2006 08:46 AM

I disagree. In general your posts seem boring and banal - well written, but nonetheless boring and banal. Yes you have a beautiful child, but your world seems extremely closed. Why are you not trying to expand your mind? Conversations with those in the outside world (even dinner with fellow workers outside of the work environment) afford you knowledge, compassion, connection and yes (probably a scary word to you) challenge. Other than listening to music, reading books and taking some interesting photos, your world seems extremely limited. It is funny to me that those people that call themselves "uber liberals" seem in general to be the least traveled, least educated about the outside world and completely lacking in interest beyond their mere arm length existence. And unfortunately, more likely than not the banal existence will be passed on to the next generation.

Posted by: John at December 12, 2006 08:48 AM

Hmmm, John up there clearly hasn't read your archives.

I like my semantic nuggets with sweet and sour sauce.

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at December 12, 2006 08:52 AM

I would definitely read your crap (which isn't crap btw) any day over the other crap I have to read on a daily basis. Maybe it's just early, but your blog made sense to me!

Posted by: Michelle at December 12, 2006 08:54 AM

Wow! I just read John's 'blog within a blog' up there, and he totally has it wrong. Kate's right, obviously he hasn't read your archives! Maybe John should get his facts straight before opening his big bloggy mouth!

Posted by: Michelle at December 12, 2006 08:56 AM

Women are always talking about "family-friendly" work schedules. What would your family-friendly work schedule look like?

Posted by: That Girl at December 12, 2006 09:03 AM

Dude, you used "confluence" and "dearth" (correctly!) in the same sentence. Before nine AM. That's good enough for me!

Posted by: Fraulein N at December 12, 2006 09:13 AM

OMG! I was totally rude to one of the nicest, kindest bloggers in the world. I am going to go drink castor oil and read War and Peace before I allow myself to sleep.

Posted by: John's conscience at December 12, 2006 09:16 AM

You are always my first blog read of the day. Good, Bad or Ugly you start off the bloggers and you will stay right up there on top (with Beth running a real close second) no matter if you have a Seinfeld day. And John better watch it cause he is in a group of strong Cactus fans.

Posted by: Pat (Trish) at December 12, 2006 09:50 AM

All the time. Now that the pups have arrived I am busy like crazy, and as they grow and get more active, I expect I will be even more busy!
But, happy busy, Merry Christmas time to you.

Posted by: Maribeth at December 12, 2006 09:59 AM

meh, it's better than most of the crap on my blog ;)

hope you can hover over mia's crib long enough to get a peek but not wake her. :)

Posted by: suze at December 12, 2006 10:20 AM

I feel for you. I once had a job that required a lot of after work dinners and crap and I hated it - and I didn't even have a family to go home to. I just like to have my daily dose of me time away from work. Anyway, the point is I totally empathize with you and your pain. Perhaps Wednesday will be better.

Posted by: Sijbrich at December 12, 2006 10:31 AM

One of the reasons (and there are many) that I realized I should marry John is that no matter what I'm doing, or how much fun I'm having, I would be having just as good a time hanging out at home with him. So I understand not wanting to have dinner with co-workers when you could have dinner with Beth & Mia.

Good luck with the ninja skills!

Posted by: bad penguin at December 12, 2006 10:32 AM

Hmm, you so-called "crap" is better than my regular posts. Unfortunately, I seem to be living in a string of days where I can't string two words together that make sense.

Posted by: Krush at December 12, 2006 10:54 AM

I had that yesterday. Add a stress-induced freak out to the mix, and you get a complete non-sensical entry.

Posted by: Jessie at December 12, 2006 10:58 AM

We all have those days. :)

Posted by: Zandria at December 12, 2006 11:31 AM

Actually, honey, it kinda made me tear up. I know I've said it before, but I think you're such a wonderful daddy. Every little girl should have or should have had a daddy like you.

Posted by: Heather at December 12, 2006 11:31 AM

If you're lucky, like we were, Mia will eventually be able to sleep through the closet doors being opened to put away clothes, accompanied by the closet light being on in order to see what the hell you're doing. It's pretty awesome to get to that point.

Posted by: candace at December 12, 2006 11:34 AM

But it's good crap and sadly, one of the highlights of each day for me. Yes, I lead an exciting life.

Posted by: Heather at December 12, 2006 11:46 AM

Aw, but we love your crap! Also, we've all totally been there (at least I have). Good luck with the ninja skills.

Posted by: Dawn at December 12, 2006 12:48 PM

I'm totally not in the blogger mood today. The only topic of interest I can come up with is how I would MacGyver my way out of car that's fallen off a bridge with a tampon. Which is all I could think about after driving over the bridge this morning on my hour long commute to work.

Posted by: Tink at December 12, 2006 12:54 PM

I do anything to avoid working. :-) Even read nonesense blogs on a Tuesday.

Posted by: Bethany at December 12, 2006 01:12 PM

At least you take a nice long approach to saying nothing. It's really too bad you like your job. Makes it harder to say, "Screw it. It's 5 and I'm going home now."

Posted by: anna at December 12, 2006 01:37 PM

Oh I definetly have days like that. Where I have nothing to say and where I don't see my kids. I feel your pain. I hope tomorrow is better. Although when you have a break at work, you could call her...or go to your wife's site and watch an old video or soemthing. You won't be at home, but at least you'll have a chance to listen to your sweet baby giggle.

Posted by: Melissa at December 12, 2006 03:06 PM

Dropping in a hearty "clusterfuck" enhances the quality of any post.

Posted by: Vaguely Urban at December 12, 2006 03:13 PM

I was going to write something witty here but then I started reading the comments and when I got to John's it annoyed me and I forgot what I was going to write. Now all I can think about is how much I pity poor John and his inability to appreciate the simple - and truly important - things in life. Sounds like his home life isn't nearly as happy as yours.

Posted by: erin at December 12, 2006 03:19 PM

You don't need to be a ninja. Just a complicated rope and pulley system.

Posted by: kara marie at December 12, 2006 03:22 PM

"How else could I explain the fact that you stop by and read even when its just crap like this?"

haha And we've read my blog before... I think everyone is entitled to some truly disjointed posts to balance out the pure superbness of everything else they have written.

Something like that anyway. Does it sound believable?

Posted by: Debra at December 12, 2006 03:51 PM

Eh. We all have those days. Crap posts happen.

Posted by: Queen of Ass at December 12, 2006 04:04 PM

My tagline proposition (Up Yours) would have worked well today Mr. Cactus.

Posted by: DavidR at December 12, 2006 04:14 PM

Lately, every day is one of those days in which I can't string two meaningful words together.

Non-meaningful words, however, I am all over. Milkshake fart. See?

Posted by: Noelle at December 12, 2006 04:25 PM

for ninja skills, perhaps you should begin at

Posted by: jodi at December 12, 2006 04:42 PM

well, i suppose if you're working on your ninja tip-toeing skills you may as well take up stalking too.

Posted by: monique at December 12, 2006 06:05 PM

happy holidaze eh?

me too. no brain activity worth measuring. its pure momentum.

Posted by: melanie at December 12, 2006 06:21 PM

I am having the same exact dearth and confluence and all like that. Except when I feel the dearth and the confluence, I use phrases like "all like that." Sigh.

Posted by: Librarian Girl at December 12, 2006 07:35 PM

I skipped a holiday party tonight because I have something going on every night this week and I need a break! If holidays are supposed to be about family, how come we're too busy this time of year to spend time with them?

Posted by: Beth in StL at December 12, 2006 07:35 PM

I like your crap and I like your un-crap. Some days I start my day off with your crap and others (like tonight) I finish my day with your crap. Basically, Chris, I like YOU.

Posted by: kristen at December 12, 2006 07:42 PM

:: picturing you closed up in an office, honing your ninja skills ::

VERY funny thought!

Posted by: coolchick at December 12, 2006 07:52 PM

^points up

hey, I was going to say what "fast size" said! no fair.

Posted by: krystyn at December 12, 2006 09:31 PM

Everyday is like that day for me ;)

Posted by: Dee at December 12, 2006 11:50 PM


Your still blogging. Most bloggers that I read regularly are taking an unofficial break. December is a crazy month for most of us with much to do.

Posted by: Diane at December 12, 2006 11:53 PM

Have you SEEN my last month? You. And Me. In the same boat. At least you're trying.

Posted by: Cartwheels At Midnight at December 13, 2006 12:53 AM

you know what hit me most about this entry yesterday? because i'm apparently quite slow and stupid? you post every day. i mean, i come here every day so you'd think i would have noticed that by now but i didn't. funny in a not so interesting sort of way. the only reason i find that fascinating, really, is because i, well, don't post every day and am always a little jealous of people who can and actually have something to say.

Posted by: pea at December 13, 2006 07:58 AM
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