December 28, 2006

Five Things

Knock knock. I know I'm boring this week but is anyone out there or has the blogosphere ground to a screeching halt in this week dividing the two big annual holidays? I don't smell again, do I? Sure, I'm pretty well aware that I'm boring, with all this talk about illness and stuff. And I'm taking the week off, if you call playing Florence Nightingale taking the week off. And I guess no one really wants to hear about vomiting. So, enough of that.

A few weeks back, the lovely Debra tagged my ass (not literally) and issued an interesting challenge. In response, and despite the fact that I've spent three and a half years pouring my guts out (metaphorically...I'm not talking about vomiting again) to you guys, I'm supposed to come up with five things you don't know about me. I'm already stumped and I haven't started...

Thing One: When I was growing up, my dad worked both the Latin American and Asian markets for his bank. He traveled a lot, but not so much that it scarred me for life or anything. Anyway, he used to hit Tokyo once every six months and he invariably came home with some bizarre Japanese toy for me. They were from a nice Japanese man named Mr. Yoshida who I never managed to meet but who asked about me constantly and always sent something home with my dad. I doubt I'll ever forget that particular brand of kindness.

Thing Two: As a kid, I remember leaving my name everywhere in and around my childhood home. In the attic, there was a 2X4 with my name carved in it. There was a brick in the wall lining our driveway similarly marked. When the concrete was poured for the pool in our backyard, I managed to leave an autograph. There were countless instances. And yet I'm unclear of the motivation. We moved when I was 15. It's kind of nice to know that my name's probably still there, in any number of places. After all, that's where I grew up. It seems only fair.

Thing Three: I'm phobic about leftovers. And opened food in the fridge. I avoid leftover meals at all costs and I'm not wild about jars of pickles or condiments or, well, anything, if they've been there over a week or so. Now that I think of it, I'm pretty phobic about food in general. Yet I eat well and haven't died yet so I suppose I'm doing alright.

Thing Four: The first time a cursed in public was in the third grade. I was in gym class at my ultra-conservative Baptist school (that my parents signed me up for because it had an excellent academic reputation but it actually turned my elementary school years into a giant suckfest and is probably the reason I'm not at all a religious guy) and the opposing team scored a goal in kickball or something. I said shit and a team member went and told a teacher. The teacher then grabbed a paddle, took me in an office, and attempted to remove the bad word from my vocabulary via a swift smack to the ass. When it was delivered, I said shit again. Needless to say, I got a second and third "reprimanding." I kept my mouth closed but still found shit in my vocabulary. The asshole who turned me in was named Jerry. I never have trusted another person with that name.

Thing Five: I had a dream list night that Beth and I were fighting crime for some reason. And halfway through we decided to go on an intergalactic mission. Seriously. Some company was offering them and, since you were traveling at the speed of light, you could go to some far off world for a really nice vacation and spend, like, ten years there, then come back and only six months would have elapsed. Ok, I know...I got most of my scientific knowledge watching Star Trek. But still, it was cool. Until we stumbled onto the fact that it was all a scam. So we were forced to live in a hotel in Nairobi for six months by the company that ran the tours. Or we'd be dealt with. Okay, okay, I realize that's probably not what you were looking for but still, it's something you didn't know, right?

Are you still awake? If so, tell me about the cool stuff you got for Christmas.

Posted by Chris at December 28, 2006 07:50 AM

OK - I am not a VIDEO game person but... We got for Christmas (from my Mother in Law)GUITAR HERO for PS2... ADDICTIVE Yes...
My husband and I actually RUSH to get to see who gets to play first... I think you would love it.


Posted by: Stephanie at December 28, 2006 08:04 AM

Well, I got a region-free DVD player, along with a bunch of books and movies... which I keep meaning to post about, but I'm kind-of reveling in the fact that my house is finally my own again with all of the relatives finally gone.

Posted by: amber at December 28, 2006 08:09 AM

uh, my husband and I got each other towels and pots and pans. Our old ones needed replaced. How boring is that?

Posted by: ktjrdn at December 28, 2006 08:17 AM

I agree - the blogosphere is dead. I, admittedly, haven't been making my usual rounds to my favorite blogs. I'm chalking it up to hectic schedules and an abbreviated work week.

My favorite gift was my glowing volume knob.

Once a geek, always a geek... :o)

Posted by: Emily at December 28, 2006 08:18 AM

Wow, you were paddled in school? That is messed up, and would put me off people named Jerry too.

I think my favorite gift is one that hasn't actually arrived yet -- some new knives to complete my cooking knife set. Is it possible to be a culinary geek?

Posted by: bad penguin at December 28, 2006 08:29 AM

The part that I find the most confusing is where you were forced to live in a hotel in Nairobi.

Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah at December 28, 2006 08:34 AM

I got a laptop to take back and forth to school, so I won't have to deal with the shitty school computers. :) It makes me happy!

Posted by: Stephanie at December 28, 2006 08:43 AM

dude... i got a GUITAR for christmas! i'm so excited!! i've always wanted to learn to play but have never invested in one (or lessons), so Dean bought me a guitar for xmas. i've already learned 4 chords and can play the intro to the Beatles's song "Day Tripper" (thanks to the snazzy DVD coach). i got lots of other awesome things, but the guitar is the bestest. :) how was your christmas?

Posted by: Judy at December 28, 2006 08:51 AM

I got to spend Christmas in New York City with the woman I love.

It was magical.

Posted by: Allan at December 28, 2006 08:52 AM

i meant 5 chords. G, E, C, A, and D. the basics. :)

Posted by: Judy at December 28, 2006 08:52 AM

Yes! Stupid lazy bloggers. What do we pay them for?

Posted by: Leah at December 28, 2006 09:01 AM

I was excited to get a food processor, which will make my cooking life so much easier.
And Allan - you totally rock! :)

Posted by: Traci at December 28, 2006 09:05 AM

Yeah, that last one is totally cheating.

Anyway, for Christmas I got lots of things, but my favorites were a necklace from my husband, the book "I Like You" by Amy Sedaris (hilarious!), and an ice cream maker attachment for my kitchenaid which I fully intend on using for the first time this weekend. What did you get that was fun?

Posted by: Jessie at December 28, 2006 09:08 AM

I got my very first "To My Wife..." card which was just about all I needed. I did get some other nice things Martha Stewart Baking Handbook (because I'm a baking geek), hiking book, hiking socks (ooh! They're cushy!), bamboo chopping block and CASH. My fam's Christmas is this weekend so more goodies to come!

Posted by: carrster at December 28, 2006 09:18 AM

On Christmas day I turned 50. What a ride it's been to get here, too. What surprises me the most of turning 50 is the fact that I'm not dead. After all the things I have been through and all the trouble I have been in over the years I should have been knocked off years ago. heh

As for getting older, it doesn't bother me at all. Not as long as there are younger men who hit on me. Yeah baby! You want to live longer? Get a young lovah! Eh, as long as their legal that is. I seem to attract late 20 somethings so that works for me, though I did sorta promise myself an 18 year old. Never got one, but hey, I got my best friend who is 28, so what the hell. Maybe next year for that 18 year old. hee hee

Ooooo, maybe my friend AND an 18 year old. OOOOOOhhhhhhh now that would be loverly! :)

Posted by: Red at December 28, 2006 09:24 AM

mike gave me a crystal earring and necklace set. I have been completely spoiled :)

Posted by: suze at December 28, 2006 09:27 AM

I got a very pretty necklace from my BF. In true geek style, it has the winky smiley on a charm on it. Apparently I sent him the link to it months ago.

His mom, on the other hand, gave me a weight loss book. I'm glad that I missed their family Christmas (I opened it when we both got back home from seeing our respective families). It would have been really awkward if I had been forced to open it up in front of her.

Posted by: Hope at December 28, 2006 09:28 AM

Oh, and I got a harmonica and a harp holder. Now I just need to learn how to play the damn thing. :p

Posted by: Hope at December 28, 2006 09:30 AM

I got some noise cancelling earbuds for my iPod and some weird psychedelic white tiger jigsaw puzzle. Odd. I also got to play Dance Dance Revolution for HOURS with my niece. Awesome.

Posted by: Nicole at December 28, 2006 09:31 AM

I'm fairly certain the internet is taking a sick day. At least that's what I'm assuming since Santa, the rat bastard, sent me two sick kids.


Posted by: Pammer at December 28, 2006 09:41 AM

The best thing this christmas is getting to spend time with my mother before I move away to Florida. I am 26 yet I still live with my parents and have a wonderful relationship with them. Crazy as it can sound, She is indeed my best friend and I will miss her dearly.

This holiday season the thing I value the most is family and spending time with them beats anything out there.

I hope new years goes better for the cactus-fish family. By the way, Do you know what los tres reyes magos means and where people celebreate it?

Posted by: Katherine at December 28, 2006 09:45 AM

My best gift was a Nintendo DS with a Brain Game. Now I can exercise my brain :) I turned 60 this month and had major surgery which I made it through thanks be to God. So was a pretty eventful Christmas for me. Loved my Christmas card you send me. Sorry to hear Mia and Beth were sick. I was too the 2 days before Christmas but am better now.
Christmas hugs to the Cactus-Fish family.

Posted by: Pat (Trish) at December 28, 2006 10:08 AM

I am amazed that you still not only have things to write about through in-between holiday week but the energy to post them. Way to go!

Maybe incredible peppiness will help motivate me.

I got a Wusthof starter set. Yay Me!

Posted by: anna at December 28, 2006 10:12 AM

Season tickets to a theater group here in we used to frequent BEFORE we had kids. A new/bigger computer monitor. TiVo (which I had been begging for). Clothes, books and music. A very nice haul.

Posted by: wordgirl at December 28, 2006 10:19 AM

I am thrilled to say I got a dishwasher! Since its predecessor was broken for a looong time, this one was welcome. I have already developed an emotional bond with it.

Hope the plague of illness leaves your house and you all can greet the New Year healthy and well-rested.

Posted by: KathyK at December 28, 2006 10:21 AM

I'm sorry. SoCal weather drops to low 50s. My hands and brain are frozen and therefore I can't type a dang thing to save my life.

Christmas was fun. Saw Mia's pics. How cute is she! Hope she's feeling much much better.

Posted by: Oakley at December 28, 2006 10:42 AM

We don't do adult gifts but elves sent me a multi/task printer. Now if I could only get it installed. It gets just so far and goes "tilt".

Leftovers - you'd starve at my house. Our youngest (11) tried the "I don't do leftovers" and found out it's a long time to breakfast.

I remember when Beth wrote about shooting you in the butt on safari. Maybe that's where the Nairobi dream came from.

Lots of my regular visitors are on break and I've written only one post since Christmas eve. I'm behind on reading too. I get your links in email so it's easier to remember you (and then Beth) each day.

Posted by: ann adams at December 28, 2006 10:51 AM

Yep, still awake and reading daily, as usual. Ummm, not many presents this year - tops would have been a gift certificate for a massage and chocolate covered cherries. They're a tradition and great frozen.

Posted by: Heather at December 28, 2006 11:10 AM

I got some great craft books, some cashmere socks and a beautiful ceramic pot I've wanted for ages.

I'm a bit funny about leftover food too. My other half has an iron stomach though so he eats it all.

Posted by: Katherine at December 28, 2006 11:22 AM

My six year old got me, with her own money, two of my favorite bathbombs from Lush. She also bought herself one and directed my husband to get me a huge chunk of my favorite soap for my stocking.

My inlaws are having my daughter's bathroom finished as our Christmas present. It's been in a state of remodel for months (the counter and sinks have been off for three months). I can't wait to not share my bathtub with kid toys!

Posted by: Kelley at December 28, 2006 11:56 AM

I got a 17-piece stainless steel cookware set! Granted, 12 of those pieces are cooking utensils in a ceramic holder but still, new pots and pans! Now I won't have to pick flecks of teflon out of the food before serving it. :D

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at December 28, 2006 12:11 PM

Love the dream synopsis! That's wild! Don't you wish you could remember ALL your dreams, and write a book?

Gifts? Let's see... my 21 yr old son got me a Carolina Hurricanes 'Build a Bear' named Cam. Schweeet! My best friend gave me a Black & Decker cordless drill and bits. Super Schweeet!!!

Posted by: at December 28, 2006 12:13 PM

Hey! That was me above there. Not sure what happened. But it was me!

Posted by: coolchick at December 28, 2006 12:14 PM

(You crack me up...if you get less than eight thousand comments, you think we've all gone on vacation.) ;) Great answers to the "5 things" meme (And will it ever die? I've been tagged at least 5 times.) We didn't get much for Xmas...'cause we gave ourselves a night in the City as our gift to each other. But we did get many sweet gifts from others.

Posted by: Marilyn at December 28, 2006 12:22 PM

I got a beautiful diamond tennis braclet from the BF and an air hockey table that is consuming my living room at the moment. (The braclet is way cooler though!) ^_~

Posted by: Michelle at December 28, 2006 01:26 PM

Left overs are for the most park icky, unless it's soup or chili where the flavors intensify the next day.

I think we were extra good in our household because my husband got an 80 GB iPod and I scored a new camera!

Posted by: something blue at December 28, 2006 01:59 PM

Oh my gosh, I'm all about leaving my name also. And that is why I had it engraved on my new iPod even though my husband said that was lame.

And also...I can't do leftovers. I just can't.

Posted by: Isabel at December 28, 2006 02:02 PM

I got some fancy new All-Clad pans, two gift cards, some chocolates and truffle oil, and a bitching sweatshirt that says "The Queen Is Not Amused."

I think traffic is way slow everywhere. You smell okay to me.

Posted by: Annie at December 28, 2006 02:20 PM

We're recovering from the flu and pneumonia, here. Between that and my mom visiting, I've been offline for a while. Sorry you guys spent the holidays in Vomit-land.

Presents? I got myself the complete Jeeves and Wooster DVD set and TechDad pre-ordered the WOW expansion set for himself (I'm sure I'll want one too, when I see him playing it, but I'll wait and it can be a romantic Valentine's Day gift). We got cash from my mom, who hates to shop, and a "Tar-jay" gift card from my dad. We got various toys and craft things for Queen B.

Posted by: Kate the Shrew at December 28, 2006 02:37 PM

Fancy chocolates, books, and an incredible external flash for my camera.

I haven't written anything since the first week of December. I suck worse than you.

Posted by: candace at December 28, 2006 02:39 PM

Ah, you got sucked into the meme world as well. At least I know I am not alone in this silent week between holidays.

Christmas was small this year. So small, only the kiddo got a gigantic mountain of gifts (from family). Santa and Mom and Dad were modest. Regardless it was fun to watch him open them up.

And I did get a lovely box of books from my agent (what better gift to give a writer), a centerpiece of candles, glass and wrough iron from an aunt, and wooden carved thing that says FAMILY from a cousin. All lovely. And all perfect for the new house.

And you? Did you drown in gifts? Well, aside from drowning in vomit?

Posted by: Bethany at December 28, 2006 02:48 PM

Thanks! Funny that today you added your reply to it, and one of my other tagged people mentioned they were still working on it. Updating the link to go straight to your post now. :)

The dream... totally made me think of my dread I had about being in a crazy biker gang.

Posted by: Debra at December 28, 2006 05:06 PM

I'm here and awake, and you smell okay, so far as I can tell from here. It's Beth who's a little ripe, if I may say so. ;-) I got nothin' for Christmas. Not even coal. *sob*

Also? I'm Jewish. (Psych.) Oh, and waiting for you to post about YOUR gifts.

Posted by: shelley at December 28, 2006 05:17 PM

No leftovers? Are you kidding me? Pizza tastes best if it's at least a couple days old.

Posted by: Rengirl at December 28, 2006 05:24 PM

Something old: a 9" Pink Cherry Blossom Depression Glass Bowl, the pattern which I collect.

Something new: a 30 GB iPod Video (which was the only thing I asked for this year)!

Something borrowed: I borrowed a cake pan from my mom to haul back all of the candy I made while I was home.

Something blue: a can of blueberry preserves from Canada.

Oh wait, that's not for Christmas, that's for a wedding - eek!

Posted by: Beth in StL at December 28, 2006 07:15 PM

*sniff*sniff* Eewwwwww! Stinky feet!

Huh. My 14 month old son thinks it's funny. Again, and again, and again... Oh well.

I got books and cash. That's my kind of Christmas.

I remember my sister trying to convince my parents that I had actually climbed up on the porch railing and carved HER name into it. Luckily, for once they didn't fall for it.

Posted by: heels at December 28, 2006 07:21 PM

Those were some awesome 5 things,though I knew no. 3 for some reason, from something waaaay in the past on your blog. Still laughing about the Jerry thing.
I didn't get anything for Christmas, but I did getmyself some blingage and check my blog to see it.

Posted by: Dee at December 28, 2006 08:11 PM

I like the "five things". My favorite gift was from my Dad, who has made copies of the "home movies" for my two sisters and I. Ten DVDs packed with scenes from their wedding in 1960 all the way to 1999.He still has a few years to go. What a wonderful gift, history is.

Posted by: Dawn at December 29, 2006 05:53 AM

Well, there is a slight lingering odor of vomit around here....
I wouldn't say I got anything cool for Christmas but I did get something I have wanted for a while and would never see fit to spend money on--my mom got me a new set of flatware. Service for eight, which is almost funny since I will be living all alone in a few months. I haven't had a complete set of silverware since I got married in 1982. I also got some cash, which came in very handy since my student loan money got held up somewhere (ever notice how when you need the money, it never goes smoothly? If I had excess sitting in the bank, it would have come right through).
Truthfully, the best gift was the look on my munchkin's face when I gave her the spring horse. That girl's a galloping

Posted by: Jaycie at December 29, 2006 06:33 AM

Hi Chris. Have a great weekend. Happy New Year. I used to hate leftovers as well, but now I eat them so I can afford to put money away for my kids college. I am sure with the money I am saving they will be able to go to a nice community college for about 1 semester.

Posted by: William at December 29, 2006 07:57 AM

I got a set of the complete dvd series of 70s afterschool specials. How is that exciting? It just is.

Posted by: Librarian Girl at December 29, 2006 08:49 PM

Every year since hubby and I started dating I've gotten TACKY jewelry from my gramma-in-law. I feel so guilty because her other (girl) grandkids are into that kind of stuff and manage to wear it (when she can see). I never do.
I'm feeling the lag this holiday, too. I dunno why except that I've been feeling rather "bah-humbug" this Christmas.
Thanks for trying to keep us amused! :)

Posted by: Celina at December 29, 2006 09:15 PM

I have never heard it referred to in quite that way, but I TOO am phobic on leftovers. Even if I made the meal THAT DAY, I will not eat it again. Lucky for me, my husband eats leftovers right up.

Posted by: Janet at December 30, 2006 11:20 PM

What is it with you and fighting crime? I think you chose the wrong line of work (although what you do is probably safer). :)

Posted by: Zandria at December 31, 2006 09:30 PM

i was shaking my head in disagreement about the food phobia thing.. leftover italian makes the best breakfast, IMO.. until I realized I shared a tiny shred of it.. milk. I'm very suspicious of milk. to drink it, it must be very cold, and no where close to teh expiration date. If the glass has been out for over 10 minutes.. or even if i walk away from it for 5 minutes.. it's done and down the sink.

my husband will nurse a big glass of chocolate milk all even.. 3-4 hours, and it drives me absolutely batty.

so.. i guess i can understand where the food phobia thing comes from.

Posted by: raine at January 3, 2007 11:30 AM