January 10, 2007

Hump Day Threefold Post

It's early. I'm headed to a client for meetings starting at 8:00 this morning and ending (hopefully) at 3:00 this afternoon. So, forgive me if I don't provide any stunning insights this morning. Yet, here's a post. And the post is threefold.

Fold One
I started the day yesterday morning with car trouble. Picture this. I arrive at the office, park in the parking garage. It's nice and early. Primo parking space. All is well...until I turn off my car and try to remove the key from the ignition. It wouldn't budge. I jiggled the wheel, pushed down on the brake, changed gears, turned the car on, turned the car off, turned the car on again, reversed, drove around the parking garage, found a smidge of religion and prayed, and then, when all else failed, I cursed. I cursed like a sailor. Like two sailors. I cursed with a ferocity never before seen so early in the morning and my foul-mouthed shouts echoed throughout the empty parking garage. And then I cursed some more. Then gave up. I took my car key off the ring and left it there, stuck in the ignition. I took my laptop into the office, booted up, got a cup of coffee then searched the net. I Googled "VW Jetta ignition key stuck fucked" and found I wasn't alone. I returned to my car, tried something and seconds later the key was free. Overall, not a great way to start the day. But still a hell of a lot better than having a key eternally stuck in the ignition. Plus I got to blow off a little steam early in the morning.

Fold Two
Did you know it's De-Lurking Week? Neither did I. So, uh, delurk and comment. Or, if you're around here all the time, just comment.

Fold Three
My wife, over on her official ClubMom site is launching something awesome today. I know all you awesomely cool people would want to know. You should drop by, check it out and let her know what you think. And, if you can, help.

So, to recap, three things:
1. Fuck...then ahhhh.
2. I'm a whore. Comment.
3. Visit Beth and do some good.

Posted by Chris at January 10, 2007 06:26 AM | TrackBack

You say "whore" like it's a bad thing? HA! Yes I lurk. You caught me. Damn you! :) Have a good one.

Posted by: Julie at January 10, 2007 07:00 AM

Glad you managed to get the key out of the ignition. I am very sympathetic about car trouble at the moment as mine is on its last leg (way worse than being on its last legS) and wah I am going to have to pay lots of money for a new one.

Not technically delurking as I comment a fair bit, but happy delurking week anyway.

Posted by: starrynite at January 10, 2007 07:03 AM

Enjoy your meeting. Awesome thing your lovely wife is organizing. :)

Posted by: autumn at January 10, 2007 07:19 AM

The engineer in me wants to know, what little thing did you do to free your key from the ignition gulag?

(Oh, and apparently I need to post cryptic suggestions to read my blog here more often; when I did it Monday I saw a spike from here and my most commented post yet. Thanks!)

Posted by: Jeff at January 10, 2007 07:32 AM

Yeah for cleansing yourself of the four letter words.

Going over to see Beth now.

Posted by: Maria at January 10, 2007 07:44 AM

I'm lurking, I'm lurking and you can't stop me! Oh, hell, I just accidently de-lurked. ;)

Posted by: Contrary at January 10, 2007 07:44 AM

Hey ya whore.

Posted by: William at January 10, 2007 08:06 AM

Like I could keep my mouth shut long enough to lurk.

Um...I meant that in the least raunchy sense possible.

Unless, of course, the raunchy version will win me another cd or something.

Posted by: fauve at January 10, 2007 08:06 AM

Funny, my husband started his day in a very similar way! His key wouldn't unlock his Lincoln. So he futzed around with it for a few, came back in the house and searched around online. Then returned with a rubber mallet and got in! Gotta love the Internet!

Happy delurking week. :)

Posted by: Kris at January 10, 2007 08:08 AM

We had/have the same issue with our Pontiac Grand Prix. It's ongoing. My husband carries a small screwdriver in the console for the sole purpose of releasing the key from the ignition. Annoying.

Have a nice meeting! :-)

Posted by: Alissa at January 10, 2007 08:08 AM

delurking. Hope the rest of the week is free from car trouble and full of comments.

Posted by: donna at January 10, 2007 08:12 AM

Gotta love google. I wonder if you would have found as helpful a site if you had left the "fuck" out of your search?

Posted by: ktjrdn at January 10, 2007 08:17 AM

I've had that key stuck thing happen in a number of cars. It's so irritating!
I guess, technically, I'm a lurker. Huh.

Posted by: Opal at January 10, 2007 08:21 AM

Lurker delurking. I have never had a car that the key got stuck in the ignition, but I did have one that if I jiggled the key a bit while the motor was running, I could take the key out.

Posted by: kmum at January 10, 2007 08:26 AM

I always feel bad if I start out the day cussing - you know, where you hop out of bed late, saying "Shit!" But I think you were justified in your situation, because that's a weird thing to happen.

And yay for Beth! She's just an awesome woman. But I know you know that. :)

Posted by: Sam at January 10, 2007 08:26 AM

What got the key un-stuck? Happy Hump Day too! I'm excited to see what's on Beth's page :)

Posted by: Michelle at January 10, 2007 08:35 AM

Commenting today, because you asked so nicely...

At least with your Jetta it's just the ignition key. I had a VW Rabbit back in the early '90s that developed an electrical gremlin, which caused the headlights to randomly turn on and off. Not good at 11pm. Oh, and one time I actually turned the car off and removed the key, but I couldn't get the engine to stop running. Yes - the key was out, the engine was on. Unfortunately, I can't remember what I did to solve that one, but I do remember that I bought a Honda soon after that happened.

Posted by: Jen at January 10, 2007 08:43 AM

Beth rocks. But then you know that already. I love her idea.

Glad you got the key out.

Be glad it didnt snow in DC this morning. My drive to work was HELL because no one thought the roads should be salted. I slid to work. Fun. Not.

Posted by: Lisa at January 10, 2007 08:44 AM

Howdy! You know I'm out here.
So, why does the key stick? Were you holding your tongue to the left?

Posted by: Steff at January 10, 2007 08:52 AM

gotta love the internet!!!

Posted by: linda at January 10, 2007 09:03 AM

Just curious, have you had any other problems with your Jetta? I've heard great things about those cars, but I've also heard horror stories of people who have had major problems, including but not limited to recalled parts that aren't allowed to be replaced until they fail, door lock problems, seatbelt problems, etc.

P.S. I think this is my official de-lurker post. I got here from Coleen of Hussified some long time ago and found you an entertaining read. I think I'm a disciple...or at least an interested observer.

Posted by: Ross at January 10, 2007 09:10 AM

I comment a lot. Comment Whore.

Posted by: Leah at January 10, 2007 09:13 AM

Wow, I thought my key only got stuck in the ignition because my car is an ancient piece of crap. I'll have to start keeping mallets and whatnot in the car.

Posted by: Fraulein N at January 10, 2007 09:18 AM

Same thing happened to our 91 Laser back in the day. We were at the post office and all the sudden we couldn't get the key out. I did all the stuff you did, still couldn't. This was one year before everyone got cell phones.

We hoofed it home, asked around to garages and stuff, and they said to give the steering wheel a really hard jerk. "OKayyy, but I already did that." Still, we went by, I jerked the ever-mother-fucking-living-hell out of that thing and sure enough, the key turned. Never happened again. Fucking odd.

Posted by: Brad at January 10, 2007 09:21 AM

whore.....huh, huh. You said whore...

Posted by: jennifer at January 10, 2007 09:23 AM

I see you more as the pimp - I could so see you in pimp clothes. Hilarious. Plus, I mean, you have two gorgeous girls at home - much more pimplike.

Posted by: That Girl at January 10, 2007 09:23 AM

Well, the key thing sure is a really annoying way to start the day. Glad you were able to figure out how to get the key out finally. And hey, at least it made for a good story to blog, right?

Posted by: Jessie at January 10, 2007 09:32 AM

Enjoy the meetings. I would just like to point out that I only have ONE smallish meeting today, and then I'd like to rub that in a little.

Posted by: angela at January 10, 2007 09:39 AM

1. I once loaned my car to a co-worker to do an errand. She couldn't get the key out b/c she hadn't put the car in park which is a requirement for automatic Hondas. She was so used to driving a standard that it literally took her 20 minutes to figure it out.

2. *waves*

3. Planning to join Beth in the doing of good.

p.s. Hope you survive your day of client meetings.

Posted by: sarah barah at January 10, 2007 09:41 AM

Way to go Beth!!

I signed up and I'll link to it.

Did you? Sign up that is.

Posted by: ann adams at January 10, 2007 09:51 AM

Hi! No delurking here, as I comment so frequently you probably wish I'd just shut up already...

Beth has a really, really wonderful idea. I'm in...

Posted by: suze at January 10, 2007 10:02 AM

Sorry about the car. What a great idea that Beth came up with. I signed up and will add the link.

Posted by: Diane at January 10, 2007 10:02 AM

as i'm driving a rental right now, i feel for your car pain.

and i comment here all the time... so perhaps this week i'll lurk.

Posted by: monique at January 10, 2007 10:04 AM

Ugh, all day meetings. Gird your loins!

Posted by: fw sunshine at January 10, 2007 10:12 AM

Today must be national car problem day as I too had an issue. There is nothing like having to get from the left lane to the far right break down lane in rush hour (and why is 6am rush hour?).

Glad you were able to get that key out. What would we do without Google?

Posted by: Colleen at January 10, 2007 10:13 AM

Hey there! Faithful reader, not a faithful commenter. But I promise my heart is in the right place. Or its the thought that counts. Or something witty and sentimental to show I care. :)

Posted by: alfredsmom at January 10, 2007 10:52 AM

I was just thinking yesterday "Isn't it supposed to be delurking week?" and saved a graphic but haven't had time to put it up yet. This is what happens when our leader disappears for a month.

But, happy delurking week all the same.

Posted by: Hannita at January 10, 2007 11:09 AM

I pop in every once and a while. Happy De-Lurking Week!

Posted by: Frema at January 10, 2007 11:24 AM

Visited Beth first today. You're jealous, I know.

Glad you got your key out. Here, that wouldn't have been such a big deal but since you are city-folk, I can see how that would be a problem.

Posted by: anna at January 10, 2007 11:47 AM

Caught me! I will resume my daily lurking now thank you.

Posted by: Regina at January 10, 2007 11:51 AM


Going to Beth's!

Also, huzzah for getting the key out of the ignition!

Posted by: Sparkle Pants at January 10, 2007 11:55 AM

I think that I may have de-lurked here once before, but in spirit of this extremely important holiday... Hiyeee! -Big Wave-
I am a shameless blog stalker (bowing head in shame). -- Love the blog, love reading you. =)

Posted by: smoness at January 10, 2007 11:58 AM

I'm here to de-lurk, sort of. I comment occasionally, but it's been a while. The holidays preceded by NaBloPoMo really screwed up my blogging schedule. So, hi!

Posted by: Kristen at January 10, 2007 12:01 PM

I don't lurk, but sayin hi anyway. And that project of your wife's is only feeding my tendency to overcommit ;o)

Posted by: Judy at January 10, 2007 12:19 PM

I've commented before but not often...de-lurking...Hi!

Posted by: northern girl at January 10, 2007 12:25 PM

from one whore to another...hi!!

beth is awesome. :)

Posted by: ali at January 10, 2007 12:42 PM

Mmmm... delurking.

Also, I absolutely love that you added "fucked" onto your Google query. I've never tried that, but I might next time. Maybe it'll help. (i.e., "cats barfing everywhere fucked")

Posted by: Dawn at January 10, 2007 01:05 PM

Hi Chris...I read your post every single day and have not made one single comment (lurker - I'd say yep.) So HI!!! You're a really great and funny writer :)

Posted by: Shannen at January 10, 2007 01:06 PM

I'm so bad at commenting lately thanks to the Google Reader which I love for every reason except that it means I'm turning into a lurker all over again!

Posted by: Heather at January 10, 2007 01:17 PM

I don't lurk, but I wanted to say hi anyway!

Posted by: Emily at January 10, 2007 01:28 PM

Kind of de-lurking as I don't comment as often as I'd like to. So is the key working ok now?

Posted by: Chag at January 10, 2007 01:43 PM

I need to know... What did you do to get the key out?!?!?!?

Posted by: Dirka at January 10, 2007 02:01 PM

Delurking - though I think I may have made a (as in one) comment before...

Posted by: Blair at January 10, 2007 02:07 PM


Posted by: pagalina at January 10, 2007 02:09 PM

Don't you love when your car does something you didn't think was possible? I had a key break off in the ignition, THAT was a lot of fun.
How do you make the time to email all of your commenters, very impressive I must say :)

Posted by: Danielle at January 10, 2007 02:11 PM

I wouldn't call myself a lurker, but I'd like to take this opportunity to say "You owe me a cd".

There. I said it.

Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah at January 10, 2007 02:19 PM

I actually don't have to de-lurk to you because I came out to you a while ago now. But I will say, You rock.

Posted by: Sharri at January 10, 2007 02:44 PM

We are all whores, no?

Posted by: Isabel at January 10, 2007 02:45 PM

Sheesh, you know I don't lurk. I comment all the time, even when you might rather that I not! LOL
On my way to visit Beth!

Posted by: Maribeth at January 10, 2007 03:06 PM

I had the sticky key problem in my old car (not a VW)... turned out that my key was slightly bent.

Posted by: Liz at January 10, 2007 03:53 PM

Okay, a stuck key is pretty bad, but I think my "ignition issues" are worse: You can use ANY key to start up my truck (the toyota). Can't find the key? Try your housekey, masterlock key, hell, use a screwdriver... it'll start right up! Fortunately, the toyota is 19 years old, and not very likely to draw the attention of would-be larcenists! :)

Posted by: Celina at January 10, 2007 03:56 PM

Commenting because of the whole de-lurking thing.

Soooo, what was the dealy-o with your key? Is it a VW thang? What did you have to do to get it to turn loose?

Posted by: coolchick at January 10, 2007 04:53 PM

I'm only a semi-lurker... and I don't mean that I lurk around big 18 wheelers, or their drivers, not that there's really anything wrong with that, but I just don't do that. I mean I'm sure they're all really nice people, but I'm too old for that... or maybe I'm too young for that... is there an age where that's cool? I mean if there is, I wonder if I've already missed it... Damn... wonder if I google "semi-lurker" if it will give me the guidelines...

Anyway, glad you were able to get the key out.

Sometimes being a whore isn't bad.

Go Beth! You ROCK!

Posted by: Karen at January 10, 2007 05:41 PM

I'm not witty enough to de-lurk myself permanently, but I'll comment today since it's the "rule." I sure enjoy yours and Beth's blogs and reading about your lives. Thank you for sharing!

Posted by: Tammy at January 10, 2007 05:54 PM

It's good it was a "fuck....and then ahhhh" situation. All we've had is "fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck" moments with our jetta and it's damned windows. Now we just know better and don't ever use them:)

Posted by: kim at January 10, 2007 06:43 PM

Heh. For the first time in THREE WEEKS, my Chevy HHR finally gave up my key without a fight. I could turn the engine off (one click/notch towards me, but couldn't make it go the second click/notch to give up the key). I first took it in to the dealer back on December 19th... and, naturally, parts needed to be ordered.

Apparently, GM needed to MAKE the effin' parts on the 5 or 10 minutes the part makers were working between Christmas and New Year's. Every-freakin'-time I went somewhere (and let's face it, I HAD to drive -- too much crap to do!), I had to play the Please-Give-Up-the-Fuckin'-Key" game with the car. That, and I learned how to intermittently pray and swear and look cute doing it. It was great fun. Or not.

Turns out that the shift control was bad and that little bitch got the boot yesterday. The new one is such a sweet little dahling.

Posted by: ironic1 at January 10, 2007 06:57 PM

Can I just say that today sucked donkey balls? Hope yours turned out better once you fixed the car!

Posted by: Beth in StL at January 10, 2007 07:08 PM

I read the mommy blog and was very impressed with it. Definitely plan to get involved.
And about the VW Jetta key stuck fucked thing, well you learned something new, no?

Posted by: Dee at January 10, 2007 07:14 PM

Hi! Sorry I haven't been visiting as often. But I'm here! Hope you, Beth and Mia are great.

Posted by: motherofbun at January 10, 2007 07:41 PM

de-lurking for the SECOND time this week. Maybe I'll make a habit of this... ?

Sorry about the key in the ignition. That bites, glad you got it out before someone "borrowed" your car!

Posted by: s@m at January 10, 2007 07:46 PM

In lieu of it being "DELURKING" week (or so I've heard, over in blog land) You are supposed to comment on blogs you read all the time but never say anything. I have never commented, so, I wanted to take the time and let you know even though I don't comment, I READ you all the time, and LOVE THIS BLOG! so, um, thanks.

Posted by: meleahrebeccah at January 10, 2007 08:09 PM

happy wednesday!

i'm snowed in, in canada. it snowed like mad crazy today. we went for walks, i thru snowballs at telephone polls, because to throw them at Wil would have been rude.

Posted by: jodi at January 10, 2007 09:19 PM

That sucks that your key was stuck! But, awesome that you got it out.

I love zee comments!

Already went to Beth's and think it's amazing!

Posted by: Haley-O at January 10, 2007 11:13 PM

Would have been a better story if you locked the keys in the ignition. :)

Posted by: Mitch Mcdad at January 11, 2007 12:00 AM

Yeah your not the only one with key in the ignition problems I have hum hauled around for 12 months not getting a copy made for my key then low and behold my nephew decides to use it to pry something free and it was bent so bad I had to get a whole new ignition put in but I learned my lesson I had 5 made! Glad yours was simple!
There I de-lurked Happy?

Posted by: Sunshine at January 11, 2007 03:19 AM

I'm delurking late! Well, not really, since I comment kind of regularly. :) Sucks about your stupid key-situation. I had that happen with one of my cars in the past.

Posted by: Zandria at January 12, 2007 12:47 PM

Your wife is just so lovely.

Posted by: Janet at January 12, 2007 02:30 PM
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